Author Topic: They turned our parents into the enemy  (Read 14171 times)

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Offline Antigen

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2005, 06:39:00 PM »
Here's the problem as I see it. Granted, in the `70's, my parents were just not normal. Even though The Seed was a pretty big fad there for a couple of years, most people just thought we all were nuts, including the cop across the street.

But I think that's changing. These days, people think nothing of accepting a psych dx for their kid, drugging him or her and then, when (inevitably) the kid gets old enough to defend for themselves a little bit, tossing them in a rehab or "emotional growth" school or some such.

While I agree that our parents were crazy and very much at fault for falling for these nut jobs, I'm also afraid that more and more parents are falling pray to the same sort of scam. When it comes right down to it, the public perception that it takes a team of shrinks and a truckload of psyche drugs to raise a kid is gowing. It's almost the majority by now, I guess. That's a big problem!

So, what do we do about it but laugh at the idiots? Li'll public humiliation in order, ya think?

A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312878214/qid=1122338640/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>Arthur C. Clark

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Offline the wet noodle

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2005, 06:41:00 PM »
They get them (the parents) just when they are at their lowest...just when they are at their most vulnerable. Think about it...who is more desperate then a parent who thinks (true or not)that their kids are heading toward destruction and death?

Of course there are always the mean, irresponsible uncaring parents...but lazy? I am not so sure...think about it..."in town" parents were forced to take strangers home to their house every night... They had to attend that horrible open meeting... they had to attend parent raps. That may not seem like such a big deal to us...but I bet that open meeting was not such a hit with the parents and siblings...

I tend to think that the lazy parents would just send their kids to military school or some other in-patient place that didn't require them to do squat... my folks fell for the place hook, line, and sinker...they actually LIKED meeting all of the kids from all over...my dad still asks me today about the kids he took home...

I tend to think that most parents didn't have a clue about what the place was really like. Mine sure a hell didn't. Call it willfull ignorance if you like... I will choose to call it brainwashing...

It was PURPOSELY hidden from them...do you recall the air conditioner mysteriously turning on prior to open meeting? That was just the tip of the iceberg...if anyone ever said anything bad about the place in front of a parent...well you know what would happen..."3 and 14" baby! The worst offense in that place (short of getting high) was talking to the parents about what Straight was really like.

What hurts the most today is that my parents who I love dearly...well they screwed up and let themselves fall victim to a horrible scam...I have forgiven them...but it is still so fucking lonely and frustrating...probably the worst part of Straight was how it ripped my family apart...
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Offline Anonymous

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #17 on: September 06, 2005, 06:46:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-09-06 15:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

 Parents like my dad were easy to suck in because they meant well, were vulnerable, and scared.




Sure, there were parents that were scared and 'meant well', but to just fall for the first snake-oil salesman that comes their way smacks of gross incompetence and negligence on their part.  It is excusable for a parent to be concerned, even 'scared' for the safety and well-being of their children, but it is in no way excusable for them to send their children to Straight or a Straightlike program.  That is negligence to a criminal degree, perhaps brought on by laziness, perhaps by ignorance, but either way, it illustrates their incompetence as parents.
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Offline Withdraw

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #18 on: September 06, 2005, 06:57:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-09-22 23:20 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #19 on: September 06, 2005, 06:58:00 PM »
Wet Noodle, you make an excellent point regarding parents who were host parents at the 'foster homes'.  They had to know that what was going on was abusive---if they didn't think that it was abuse, they are too fucked up to be trusted with a houseplant, much less an adolescent human being.  The foster parents were well aware what was going on in the building, if from no other source than the visible evidence of abuse brought into their homes by newcomers each night.  Going along with food and sleep deprivation, physical abuse and humiliation (which I recall more than one foster parent participating in with gusto)is fucking criminal, no matter what kind of spin you want to put on it.  For a parent to claim "Oh ,jeez, I was brainwashed by Straight, too", well, that's fine, but it doesn't make them any less incompetent as a parent or an adult.  We don't let mentally incompetent people drive cars or own guns, and we don't allow them custody of their children if they are incapable of performing their duties as parents.  The willful negligence, never mind the abuse they collaberated in, is, in and of itself, evidence that they had no business raising children--their own or anybody else's.  Whether their motivation was spite, hatred or revenge, or even with the best of intentions, they demonstrated their lack of ability to be trusted as guardians of minors.  They were at best incapable of being parents, at worst, criminal child abusers. For a parent to claim "innocence by reason of brainwashing" is not that different than a Nazi concentration camp guard to say "I was only following orders".  Not an excuse, in my mind.
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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #20 on: September 06, 2005, 07:01:00 PM »
Anon - Although I will always see my dad as a victim, preyed on by those monsters, I have to admit it is difficult how to imagine, how on earth they fell for it, before the brainwashing started....

But thoughout history...people always have fallen for snakeoil salesmen and scams of all sorts. Not defending it mind you....I guess until I'm a parent myself I will not be able to fathom, aside from their obvious vunlerability, how they cant see through the bullshit before the brainwashing starts. I dont have an answer for that.

But, if a parent say went through the trouble of visiting straight to see what the program was like...what did they see? They were introduced to high phasers who were already completely brainwashed who claimed to be happy, healthy, and claimed that straight "saved them." They met other parents that claim their child had miraculously changed and their familty was happy and health, all thanks to straight. And I remember visiting parents in open meetings...and we all know that the open meeting was nothing less than a big pretty show put on for the parents to facilitate the big fat lie. The lengths Straight went to, in order to deceive thousands is just mind boggling and an enormous injustice...to say the very least!

Who knows anon - will we ever know why people fall for bull shit scams? Beats me....clearly not every one has a very good bullshit radar.[ This Message was edited by: nonconformistlaw on 2005-09-06 16:09 ]
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Offline Withdraw

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #21 on: September 06, 2005, 07:02:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2005-09-22 23:20 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #22 on: September 06, 2005, 07:14:00 PM »
NCL, granted, Straight went to great lengths to facilitate the lie, and I am in no way excusing or minimizing the role they played, but don't you think that taking such drastic steps as putting your child in Straight would warrant a more thorough exploration than attending the dog-and-pony show that was an Open Meeting.  Seems like it would be "too good to be true"--"You mean all I have to do is sign my kid in and everything will be great in six months?"  For a parent to fall for that kind of crap, no matter how well orchestrated the deceit, smacks of an inability to distinguish reality from fantasy.  I mean, no matter how well it's advertised, a little caveat emptor is in order no matter what it is your buying, and for a parent to be deceived by an Open Meeting, like a Mongoloid at a magic show, is, to me, evidence that they are not fit to be custodial guardians of their children.
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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #23 on: September 06, 2005, 07:16:00 PM »
I will say that if abuse that I have heard about that went on in some host homes occurred in my house when my parents were host parents...I would hope that would have woke them up. But when I was an oldcomer...things were actually very peaceful in my house (peaceful in comparison to how ugly things could get in straight...not a minute was truly peaceful)...never confrontation...just tons of "sharing our feelings." But I have to admit one thing that always bothered me... was the part about being locked into a room...because that in itself is irresponsible at best, dangerous at worst...(hello, what happens if there is a fire?).
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Offline the wet noodle

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #24 on: September 06, 2005, 07:16:00 PM »
People believe what they want to believe... they see what they want to see... that is how brainwahsing works... the good brainwasher just sells them the thing that they want most in the world... in our case it was...

Best case "a happy healthy kid"

Worst case "a compliant kid"
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Offline Withdraw

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #25 on: September 06, 2005, 07:20:00 PM »
They sold my parenst a shattered, forever tormented 14 yr old stranger.
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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #26 on: September 06, 2005, 07:25:00 PM »
Anon said-----"too good to be true"----- etc.

I agree with you here....I have said the same thing myself numerous times...There is no such thing as a quick fix, especially when you are talking about human beings. The obvious "too true good to be true" sales pitch would have instantly sent me running----but then again I have a pretty well developed bullshit radar. But people that get sucked into bullshit cults are usually very vulnerable or screwed up people to begin with.

Your right....how can anyone miss the well known too good to be true warning sign? But damn it, the same exact sales pitch continues to suck parents in to this day!!!! Why??? Sickning. Scary.

Straight sucks...god I hope one day they pay for all the lives they destroyed.


I have to go to school....real life calls.
::rainbow:: [ This Message was edited by: nonconformistlaw on 2005-09-06 16:27 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #27 on: September 06, 2005, 07:27:00 PM »
Make all the excuses you want, if that makes you feel better, but the fact remains, our parents paricipated in abusing us and others, if they were host parents. Regardless of their intentions, good or ill, this demonstrates their incompetence, if not their culpablility.

Something as simple, yet potentially dangerous, as locking bedroom doors and windows, creating a safety hazrd, should be enough to indicate to any responsible adult that something is wrong, terribly wrong, with the program.  To ignore it is to demonstrate their incompetenence or their criminal intent.

True healing within families disrupted or destroyed by Straight can not begin until the parents realize and admit their complicity in the abuse.  Otherwise, it's just sweeping their responsibility under the rug, and any forgiveness is merely shallow, hollow platitudes.  Only the truly repentent are worthy of forgiveness.
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Offline starry-eyed pirate

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #28 on: September 06, 2005, 09:01:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-09-06 14:43:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I doubt that you had a "drug problem" at age 15---or at least that you had a serious enough drug problem to warrant incarceration in an in-patient (I use the term 'patient' loosely--very loosely), lockdown facility of any kind, much less one as brutal as Straight.  



Sure, our parents may have been desperate---but they fucked up to have gotten to that point in the first place.  If they swallowed the line that "only Straight could help" then they were ignorant of the truth and too lazy to find the facts, or at least seek out a second opinion.  I wouldn't have an ingrown toenail removed with out a second opinion, and I sure as hell wouldn't send my kids off to some warehouse without getting one, no matter how "out of control" they were.  The parents that plead "what else were we to do? You were out of control and soon to be dead!" are merely tryint to hide their guilt and complicity in the abuses we suffered.  If they knew what Straight was and sent us there, they are abusers.  If they didn't know what Straight was and sent us there, they are criminally negligent as parents.  For a parent to subject a child to what we were subjected to is criminal, pure and simple.  For a parent to buy into the lies that Straight's salesmen shoveled them is stupidity.  For a parent to not investigate a program they are considering sending their kids to is criminally negligent.



I understand your desire to 'clear the air' between your parents and you, but you do yourself a disservice by not recognizing their complicity in the abuses we suffered.  They were charged legally, if not morally, with ensuring our well-being until we reached  adulthood, and by putting us in Striaght, they faileed miserably."


i's talkin' to my mom on the phone the other day and asked her if she knew what was goin' on in group, if she knew the way that people were treated.  i asked her if she knew i was on sleep deprivation as well as other consequences and she said: she knew i was on suicide watch.  i told her that was jus' staffs' spin on it.  i was bein' deprived sleep as a way to make my mind weak.  they wanted me to believe lies.  i was never suicidal while i was in str8.  i was suicidal when i was free from str8.  i fantasized that the cops would come for me but i would shoot at them and i would take a fuckload of 'em out before they killed me.  i understand the mutherfuckers who killed themselves.  i jus' learned yesterday in the course of some heavy conversin' with my mom that she went with my dad to Steve Mathews funeral or memorial or somethin'

My mom told me she considers herself a failure as a parent.
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Offline Gah

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They turned our parents into the enemy
« Reply #29 on: September 06, 2005, 10:15:00 PM »
I have a 14 yr old. If I would ever put my child into a place, I would first have to know that at anytime I would be allowed to walk in and see my child to make sure she is doing fine. I also would wanna see where my child would be sleeping at night. I would wanna talk to the doctor first too. I interview doctors first anyways to learn about them and to make sure I trust them with the decisions they make for my children. I would make sure that the staff have children and doctors have children of thier own. Why would I want a doctor or staff helping me with problems they have not delt with first hand? These are things my mother says she regrets not doing before she sent me to Straight. She was irresponsible and she admits it.
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