Thanks to all of the people who have given constructive criticism and input.
I will look at Anasazi and Blue Hills. My son will go voluntarily and he knows that things are going to change dramatically. I do want to be careful, as I've mentioned. I would participate in anything that would help my son. He won't run he's not that independent. Once he's backed into a corner he folds for awhile, but then jsut tries to figure out how to manipulate the situation. The parental control idea is a great one. The problem is that, again, his friends have so much power over him that even my mandates are thrown aside in the moment when his friends are present. I work, of course and although my schedule is fairly flexible it's school where things occur and when I'm gone at work. Bottom line is I'm by myself and he's 6'2" and 200lbs and I can't tie him down or hold him back physically. I have done my share of chasing him down, regular drug testing, calling the police the 2 times I've found pot in my house and busting up parties. Right now, he's at his grandparents house just to get him away from his friends. They are there all day and he really goes no where except to counseling until I can figure out what we are doing about school. You'd think that grandma and grandpa would be a good alternative, however, in short, what he sees there is his 36 year old uncle still living at home recovering from years of drug abuse, aunt lives next door and is still putting her life together from years of drug abuse and of course his dad died at 34, in his parents house still after years of drug use. Does enable and co-dependent ring a bell here? I definitely don't want history to repeat itself and if he stays there I'm sure it will. Believe it or not I do have a plan B to a program, but I honestly didn't plan on getting into this all that much on this site. iwas just lookin for input on programs. If I can't find one, I'll sell my house and move closer to grandmas, bring him home with me so he's not in that environment 24/7 and utilize their help for oversight and help with transporting him to wherever he needs to go, counseling and such. I definitely don't think that, if he stays here that I'm putting him back in any high school, maybe a GED and a trade school of some sort. High school is poison these days no matter where they are and especially if your not able to handle pressure from peers. A mentor would be awesome, but I've searched for that here as well and my son apparently doesn't fit the high level "at risk" type of kid in Phoenix. Not low enough on the socio-economic ladder to be a priority I guess. Anyone know how to manufacture a good "dad"? That would be helpful. I would also like a group type of counseling that included positive peers, haha. Which, leads me to my final comment on that. I have some experience with the anon groups and even had a long time member of NA recommend to me that I send my son to Pathways (on a soapbox of course) and I don't know if any of you have heard about that program, but it was busted up recently because the owner was caught on tape preaching cult stuff to the kids, nice. Should have taken his advice, huh? An anon meeting definitely isn't the answer for someone who could have co-dependent tendencies. if you can take what you need and leave the rest (as they say) your okay, but alot of them can't, it's just transerfence, but not any healthier in my opinion. Of course, i suppose if you have to choose between death by substance or codependency on a group to stay clean it's the lesser of two evils to be a "2" time anon loser than strung out on drugs and alcohol. I know some nice people that are involved in that, but alot of those long-timers push their ideas on others outside of the meetings, worse than an ex-smoker and don't bother to take a look at themselves and realize that they've given up their substances and replaced them with sex, computers, co-dependence or soapboxes and couldn't get through a sober week without 3 or 4 meetings and of course program stuff trumps everything, even your own mother. If you call that recovery, yikes! Anyway, since I have gotten much more than objective advice from some of you I though I'd interject my opinion as well. hopefully it didn't come off as harsh as some of yours have. Anyway, thanks to all who have thrown in objective, carefully thought out and direct advice without throwing out emotion to the point of insult.
There is something feeble and contemptible about a man who cannot face life without the help of comfortable myths.
--Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, educator, mathemetician, and social critic
