Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Ridge Creek School / Hidden Lake Academy
any counselors out there? Come on don't be shy.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-08-25 17:25:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Opinion are like assholes everyone has one and they all stink. He has not joined the military, he's in ROTC. Let's see a few weeks in college ROTC vs. 10 years in the Marines , tours in Desert Shield/ Storm, Somalia, Bosnia, Hati, & Afganistan. You seem to miss my point, He hides behind a web board, and not out there trying to make a difference. It is a rotton system, it does not help everyone, but some it does. I know because I have seen it with my own eyes. Not once have I defended anything to do with the program. Did you work there, did you circumvent the system to get the kids what they really needed, did you care for them to the point where it almost destroyed your marriage. I got as many of them out of there as I could, did the best I knew how to help them. Does it tear at my soul that I couldn't help more of them, hell yes it does. Maybe I am being a bit of an asshole, I am not going to appologise for that, I'm just doing exactly what Overlordd is doing speaking his mind. I have not defended the school, nor will I I saw too much for that, but I will defend my personal actions. If you were not there you have no right to judge me. "
--- End quote ---
I can vouch that this guy was very well respected within the HLA community. You're looking for a reason to attack HLA, OverLord? Go on then...go there, inquire with students; then write the media, sign petitions, picket and fence!
But you haven't even heard the success stories or what this man, whom I shall henceforth refer to as The Marine, did for people...so how can you hope to understand? It's fair for you to not want to go and take up this cause, it's not really worth fighting for...
but don't you criticize the Marine.
Anonymous:
To the kind friend who figured out the clues about who I am, Thank you for the kind words. I pray that you are doing well, and perhaps even remembering some of what I tried to teach you.
Overlordd, thank you for your kind words. My posts to you were very similar to some of the lessons that I tried to pass on to my kids ( I call the students that I had the honor of working with my kids, because I care as much for them as I do my own). Passion with action is empty, Idealism with out judgment and experience is dangerous. I pray that by the time you are my age, you will not have as many scars on your soul, but I hope that your life will be as interesting a mine has been so far. Your not much older than my kids, and you definatly have the passion & idealism. Those are wonderful qualities to have. My fear is that you may fall into the old trap of ? good initiative- bad judgment? Believe it or not I admire you, not many young people today are willing to make such a sacrifice as joining the military. Now that we have crossed paths, I would b remiss in my personal duty to not pass on some of what I have learned. Military leadership 101 is all fine and dandy, but it hardly scratches the surface of what those that have come before you have learned and paid for in sweat and blood. I would hate to think that somewhere down the line you found yourself on a dirt airstrip in some God-forsaken country with people with AK47?s trying to carve you a new one, and I didn?t take the time to pass on even a sliver of the knowledge and experience that I have gained, that bothers me. Since it is bloody ass early and I ?ve not slept much in the past few days, I?ll give you a few of the threads that are in my earlier posts. #1 NEVER ask your troops to do anything you are not willing to do yourself, It?s even better if you do right along with them. #2 If your going to fight: take a stand, dig in, hold on and give it everything you have and then some. #3 Your troops will not care what you know, until they know that you care. ( Your troops come first ALWAYS ) You asked the condition of my discharge: Honorable RE1A
Although I have a 10% service connected disability for having both of my eardrums blown out.
Deborah, you asked how I go them out, My meaning was a bit metaphorical. I took care of them as if they were my own children, I tried to pass on some of the hard lessons that I have learned in life, I pushed them to do their best ( not what I considered their best) , I got after them when they made poor choices, tried to help them learn form their mistakes, mostly I cared for them and because of that I was honest with them about everything. I stood by them, went to bat for them, and didn?t give up on them. Lord knows that there were many times when I wanted to, things were really shitty towards the end. My wife had a hard time understanding why I wouldn?t quit. She supported me, even though she was not happy with me a lot. How did I circumvent procedures, I put my own spin on the ?curriculum? I took what I call the Home Depot approach. I had a lot of tools and material to help them build anything that they wanted to in life, all they had to do was to pick it up and do it. Life is all about making choices, we make good ones and we are happy, we make bad ones and we find ourselves in times of troubles. The key is in learning how to make a choice, stick with it and handle the consequences. Behavior modification is a short term change, hell you can teach a horse to play the piano, f you shove enough voltage up it rear. The real lasting change is when you deal with a persons values and beliefs, mostly I focused on how they valued and believed in themselves. I tried to show them that they were all great kids, that I cared about them, and only wanted to help them see themselves in a better light, and how to make wise choices. As much as I taught them, they also taught me. Because of them I am a better father to my kids and a better husband to my wife. I am not going to bash on the school, because there is no point, all I can honestly talk about is what I personally did while I was there. Nor will I defend the school, there are still some great kids there, that I miss seeing everyday. The ones that are out now, if I hear that they are making poor choices, I?ll go to them and try and remind them of the lessons. There are some truly wonderful people there, I learned more from them than I can ever say. If some of them follow in my footsteps and continue what I started, the kids will do well and I will be grateful that I was able to touch so many lives.
I?m sure some will say that I am full of shit, that?s fine by me. I know and those that were there with me know the reality of it.
Semper Fidelis
Anonymous:
You are not full of shit. Please know that you are one of the few people from HLA that have truly touched my life. It was people like you that kept me trudging day after day at that place and I can't imagine being able to make the journey without you. Because of people like you I would go back to my dorm room and cry at night because I was so completely confused but also deeply touched that someone outside of my immediate family thought that I was worth something, . . . thought that I was good enough and that was such a new way of thinking for me. Thank you for teaching me how to live again.
Anonymous:
What an interesting thread.
I'm the parent of a kid who went through the HLA program. I've been trying to figure out who the "Marine" is.
The fact is that HLA had a number of "Marines." Counselors who truly cared for those kids. These people loved those kids to the point where their home lives suffered. I know because I was in contact with a few of them on a daily basis during my kid's stay there. It's hard to work with kids who have these kind of problems and NOT get emotionally involved.
My child is now at home and is now okay. This was a substance abuser (heavy drugs and alcohol) from middle school on. Many arrests. It went on and on. It got worse and worse. No one had to "escort" the kid to HLA, it was voluntary.
It wasn't easy there, and we all would have preferred normal high school. There were lots of conversations that began with "I'm okay now, ready to come home." That conversation started the first week.
But people like the "Marine" who didnt always agree with all of HLA's ideas (and I'm not talking about any kind of abuse - I talked to my kid and saw him all the time -- I would have known) he's sober and healthy now. Healthier than alot of the kids here at home who have never had the benefit of therapy.
So thank you, Marine, and thanks to the rest of the staff there who REALLY cared and REALLY worked these kids. You taught them well.
I'm sure I'll get attacked for this post. Whatever.
Anonymous:
I'm glad to hear that your child is doing well. I wish that every kid that went through the program would go home and do well. There are people there who truly care about the kids, we do get very attached to them, sometime to the point of getting into it with other staff who zero in on "my kids". I know that on a few occasions I did get into it we several staff, and a few others. For me, it was the right thing to do, and I didn't care about the consequences.
We become defacto parents to the kids, and it is hard to let them go, you worry about them, hope that they are making good and healthy choices, forming solid and realistic relationships.
For the student who has again given me such kind words, thank you.
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