Former Staff, please respond, question on the Dead, Insane,

[Anonymous]

You were friends with an old executive staff member?  Why didn't you put a bullet in his head?

[Sophie]

You have no idea what you are saying to me, so I shant wig out.  This man became a hero of mine, he lived with the most integrity of any human being I've known.  He quit..did you read that part..  Lived, past tense..he died wow..three years ago last week.  weird.

[Anonymous]

Did staff ever talk about the methods they were using?

[Anonymous]

I was supremely convinced that I would immediately continue my self destruction the moment my feet hit the pavement. And for a brief and effective moment those people helped me see how dangerous that would be.  

Sounds to me like you are still convinced that you would be DEADINSANEINJAIL if it weren't for the wonderful staffers at Straight, Inc.  Wake up, Sophie, yeah, you may have abused drugs before Straight, may even have had a real physical addiction, but you don't have some mysterious "defect of character" that makes you either uncontrollably use drugs or be on the brink of "jails, institutions and death" if you don't work some mystical "PROGRAM".  The Stepcult got you hook, line, and sinker, and I wish you would wake up and see how they've infiltrated your mind.  You seem like a nice enough person, I know it will be kinda painful when you realize how 'washed you've been, but really you'll be better off and happier once you let your real self assert itself and stop being held hostage to the Stepcult's lies.  You don't have some "disease", you just believe that you do.  Why someone would choose to paralyze themselves unnecessarily is beyond me, but Straight did it's job pretty well, I guess.  You are not, nor have you ever been, powerless over drugs.  You just tell yourself that 'cause they drilled it into you enough times, and it has turned into some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you quit deluding yourself with the foolish philosophy of the Stepcult, your memory will start to improve as your real self begins to emerge from the murky depths of 12 Step propaganda that you have been drowning in.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-09 16:38:00, Sophie wrote:
The group was broken up into sub groups.  Certain jr/sr staff was assigned to observe and call on particular phasers. They could tell whoever was leading a rap to call on "their" phaser to see how they were doing so they could intentionally observe them.

 There were definately exec. staff assigned to phasers as they were the ones responsible for the "treatment" plans.  This was compulsory as it was in the jhaco regulations.  Clearly executive rap was staged in that everyone who put in for phase changes were the ones called on.  One on ones were usually done by a staff member who had that kid in their "group".

Shit....wasn't it was quite obvious that there was preferential shit like that going on..? Anyone with a pulse would notice this. Thinking that the person who motivated hardest usually got called on is like thinking that the person most qualified for it always gets the job. Duh.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-10 18:20:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Duh."

 :rofl:

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-10 17:29:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

 I was supremely convinced that I would immediately continue my self destruction the moment my feet hit the pavement. And for a brief and effective moment those people helped me see how dangerous that would be.  

Sounds to me like you are still convinced that you would be DEADINSANEINJAIL if it weren't for the wonderful staffers at Straight, Inc.  Wake up, Sophie, yeah, you may have abused drugs before Straight, may even have had a real physical addiction, but you don't have some mysterious "defect of character" that makes you either uncontrollably use drugs or be on the brink of "jails, institutions and death" if you don't work some mystical "PROGRAM".  The Stepcult got you hook, line, and sinker, and I wish you would wake up and see how they've infiltrated your mind.  You seem like a nice enough person, I know it will be kinda painful when you realize how 'washed you've been, but really you'll be better off and happier once you let your real self assert itself and stop being held hostage to the Stepcult's lies.  You don't have some "disease", you just believe that you do.  Why someone would choose to paralyze themselves unnecessarily is beyond me, but Straight did it's job pretty well, I guess.  You are not, nor have you ever been, powerless over drugs.  You just tell yourself that 'cause they drilled it into you enough times, and it has turned into some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you quit deluding yourself with the foolish philosophy of the Stepcult, your memory will start to improve as your real self begins to emerge from the murky depths of 12 Step propaganda that you have been drowning in."

 :tup:

[Anonymous]

hooh boy, we're getting heavy theese days!

[Sophie]

"Sounds to me like you are still convinced that you would be DEADINSANEINJAIL if it weren't for the wonderful staffers at Straight, Inc"

I have no idea where I would be now if I had left then.  I know I wanted to use drugs.  I know that I was in bad shape when I went in there and I know that I was putting my life in danger when I used.  

"you don't have some mysterious "defect of character" that makes you either uncontrollably use drugs or be on the brink of "jails, institutions and death" if you don't work some mystical "PROGRAM". "

I think its interesting that you are saying this, because I never alluded to having a defect in my character.  I do believe I needed to change some pretty fundemental things about my life in order for me to be happy. Now as far as the mystical program part..well, I did need help changing some stuff.  I was fucked up before I went to straight and was just differently fucked after.  I didn't have money for therapy so I went to meetings.  

I don't think its a matter of debating if the path I took was wrong.. I have already taken it.  My life is incredible.  I am in an amazing marriage, my relationships are great with friends and family.  Work is better than I ever dreamed.  I have peace of mind and I am truly happy.  There are a million paths I could have taken..can't speculate what the outcome would have been with much accuracy though.    

"Why someone would choose to paralyze themselves unnecessarily is beyond me"

Please tell me what that means to you.

[Sophie]

"Did staff ever talk about the methods they were using?"


Nothing specific I can remember..except the RSC stuff.  That was developed by a psychologist from howard university whose name I cannot remember.

Uh..I remember having to watch a video but I can't remember who it was by or really any of the content.  Sorry.. I had a whole notebook of stuff I was supposed to study.  I remember a dry erase board in the staff office with kids names on them.  I also remember a big board with pieces of paper and thumb tacks with HOMES assignments.  These were very deliberate as well.  

The one thing I remember clearly is that shane W. asked me what kind of staff member I wanted to be.  He asked if there was a character in a movie I would like to emulate.  I did have an idea about that and I spent one afternoon watching the movie and taking notes about the woman what I wanted to emulate.  

that's all for now.

[groovy1634]

On 2005-09-10 11:27:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:

"Sophie said-----"Additionally, I saw that the staff knew that some kids in there didn't have drug problems...well, jr/sr staff knew and couldn't really do anything about it as the executive staff was relying on those families money in spite of whether or not their kids needed "rehabilitating"."-------------



I realize this is off the original topic, but I just want to to say thanks for saying that....I was one that never did drugs before straight....As horrible is it is to hear confirmation that those morans knew exactly what they were doing to me (and many others) for profit....in an odd way it helps to hear that from a former staffer....its almost like staff just said to me "I know you didnt belong there." As fucked up as this is...and I dont know why I really needed to hear it from someone like you...so thanks.



BTW you mentioned how staff could get started over for allowing member of opposite sex to touch them....over 4 months after I graduated I was caught 'holding hands.' I wasnt started over but they tried to get me to check myself back in and start over...(I was 18) and when I refused they kidnapped me instead.....god those people were fucked up!"

kidnapping at 18? ya that is fucked up...

[Nonconformistlaw]

I could have burned straight (and 5 other people) on criminal kidnapping, conspiracy, assault, battery....even more fucked up....was that straight convinced (with lots of scare tactics) my parents to recruit three of their friends (not in the program), so all five of them abducted me and took me back to straight.........fucked up is right! For of all things touching someone of the opposite sex in the most innocent ways....those people were truly off their rocker...No wonder everyone was so paranoid about "eye games" or being accused of being "gamey" or accidentally touching someone being twisted into breaking a rule.

of course, the widespread kidnapping of minors was just as fucked up as far as I'm concerned.

[emirra]

did you guys ever really care about the kids?  I remember looking around group and just knowing, that everyone would happily walk their own ways, if it were for Figgy

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-10 20:36:00, Sophie wrote:



"Why someone would choose to paralyze themselves unnecessarily is beyond me"



Please tell me what that means to you.



"

By assuming that you are an "addict/druggie/alcoholic", that you have some inherent fatal flaw that somehow the Stepcult could save you from.  So you wanted to get high after being in Straight?  So what?  Big deal....  Getting high is as natural as eating, sleeping, having sex, or breathing.  You seem to have swallowed the false notion that "you'll go back to where you left off" if you were to do a bong hit or have a beer.  This is simply not true.  I see no reason for anyone to be part of a cult the which has as the primary qualification for membership a self-limiting philosophy and belief system.  Contrary to what Bill W., the Basic Text, and your sponsor tell you, you have willpower and freedom of choice.  To buy into Stepcult dogma is to deny your humanity, your birthright as a human being.  It is akin to psychic suicide or voluntary castration, the notion that you can't make your own choices, that you need a group, a sponsor, or a how-to manual written by psychotic Nazi sympathizers to make your life better.  You are a human being with incredible potential, not some inherently fucked-up "druggie" in need of "treatment".  So you had a problem with drugs pre-Straight.  BFD.  Don't you think it is possible that you could have dealt with whatever poor life choices you were making, and gotten yourself together, without succumbing to the ways of the Stepcult?  I think you could have.


As far as "defects of character" go, no, you never alluded to it in your post, but you implied it by your acceptance of Stepcult dogma.  It's right there in the steps, at least two of them.  No, you didn't have any "character defects" that made you abuse (as opposed to use) drugs, you were simply a confused young woman who had made some poor decisions.  The idea that Straight or any other Stepcult-derived method was necessary to preserve your life, or even to help you sort things out, is erroneous.  To confuse real therapy with meetings is like confusing brain surgery with trephanation.  Yes, you may have benefitted from some outside perspective on your life situation, but to credit the Stepcult for your present life and happiness is incorrect and misleading.  The Stepcult is a false philosophy, built on lies, and it is a disservice to yourself to think that it did anything for you other than waste your time with meetings.

[Sophie]

Ok.  I am going to need to think about what you have said.

I may have to respond in pieces.  (just back from a long trip and groggy).

I do not deny that I have free will.  I believe I can choose whether or not I use.  What I also believe is that I have never been able to moderate my use by myself.  I really did try before straight. Ok.. I'm too loopey to do this now.  I appreciate this discussion and I will get back to it tomorrow.  Thank you for not being disrepectful, but direct.  Having an intellegent conversation about this is much better than having to fight about it.