Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

sex and staff

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Anonymous:
"I have seen and heard changes in Betsy, even if she doesn't agree, i think she has really accomplished a lot given what she has had to go through, so the personal attacks are, in themselves a low blow in my opinion. I have great deal of ampathy b/c i know what she has been through. I also think that (I hope b this does not offend you) Besty went to MMS at 13 (right?). can you imagine being at MMs at 13?? Can you imagine how hard that would be? And no one knows what she went through prior to that, but from what I understand it was pretty messed up and MMS was better. I guess, my point is, that I think that you, B, have so few things to really hold on to in your life. Maybe MMS gave you meaning in a way that someone like me, can't understand b/c not only did I feel MMS was harmful, but I didn't feel I could ever feel safe enough to actually deal with the actual reasons that brought me there. Maybe MMS gave you the words and that was helpful- as you pointed out. I too was given words, but they were empty b/c the lack of substance of my experience. "


Not offended at all,  Thanks Kat...Apprecitate what you said and couldn't have said it better myself.

MMS was my life..I literally grew up there. 13-16
was the age group I was in at MMS.


"I would also like to understand why, Betsy, you say things like going to the reunion would make someone healthier. I don't understand why MMS defines the standard. To me they were the epitome of unhealthy. I guess, really I wonder how you find that the fear was at all a helpful thing."

I don't remember saying going to the reunion means someone is healthier or makes them healthier. After the whole sex with staff came up....I was pointing to the fact that one student who had this issue, dealt with it and even came to the reunion.
Thats all for that....


I guess the whole "fear" based stuff gave me something to get better at....
I excelled at MMS. I was in great shape and physically became better than i EVER have been.
My greads were A's & B's, when normal for me is C's and D's...
It wasn't the fear, it was the drive to do better and achive things i never have...
The strict standards and discipline were not only the stucture for my day to day it was my stucture for my myself, inside......
Does this make any sense??? Not sure how to explain it....Sorry, I tried.
Betsy

katfish:
hey, no, i think that makes sense. so, you are saying the structure and discipline you live with now was what you were given at MMS, in a way- especially in ways that were not offered at home?

katfish:
i don't know how personal you want to get here, but  you've mentioned your parents were really strict, so mms was a relief to you? Because I think of MMS as strict, I was also wondering in what ways was it different than living at home?

And for gods sake, why were you at MMS for so long?

katfish:

--- Quote ---On 2005-08-16 08:52:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I never said that sex with staff is okay....but jesus christ get your facts straight.

Her mom was told about it and like i said she obviously...unlike any of you has dealt with her issues enough to return for the reunion.
"

--- End quote ---


i understood this to mean that she has, unlike 'any of you' dealth with her issues, or is healthier and up to MMS standard, enough to go to the reunion.

Anonymous:
"hey, no, i think that makes sense. so, you are saying the structure and discipline you live with now was what you were given at MMS, in a way- especially in ways that were not offered at home?"

Yes, exactly...you have a better way of explaining things than I do......hehe  :lol:

"i don't know how personal you want to get here, but you've mentioned your parents were really strict, so mms was a relief to you? Because I think of MMS as strict, I was also wondering in what ways was it different than living at home?
And for gods sake, why were you at MMS for so long?"


At MMS...I was able to kinda "do my own thing" so to speak...
I was able to think for myself and even have my own opinions.  I came to love the workcrew and the physical part of it.
At home my parents wouldn't even let me do physical stuff around the house to help out. I was a girl and needed to act like one. I had a role to fill and didn't fill it very well. (imagine coming from an enviornment when all i did was exercise and workcrew and even work out to one that didn't even me to run.)
Every time I wanted to go for a run...my mom always said "you don't need to run today".
 I had to sneak around just to get a run in.
My curfew. Everyday....unless aproved I was to be home..cleaning my room or the house and if didn't I got bitched at. I was allowed to leave for work but only in the proper time to get there and had to back right away after work.
Same with school....3:30 I was to be home, at the latest.
Persoanl activities....not allowed unless parents met my friends or the "plans" were preapproved a month ahead of time. I played soccor after MMS and my parents didn't even come to 1 of my games, even after I asked them, time after time.
At one point i had one hour a night to be on the phone. They would listen to my calls at times.
I had a car that I paid for when my brothers were bought car, after car, as they crashed them.
Even though i had a car i was only allowed to use it for work and school other times I had to get rides or take the train.
My mom was really critical and rude to me MANY times and when I stood up for myself I was being rude and totally inappropriate and I was supposed to be nice to my mom.
My mom and I got in a fight last year......she told me I was
"gonna grown up fat, they had to pay for my high school diploma,cause I was to stupid to get it myself. I was gonna be old and only be able to get a 7$ an hour job cause I was to dumb to get into college.
She told me I should be trained like a dog cause even dogs get the idea of how to clean a toliet faster.
Than on top of that....told me she wished she never adopted me...cuase she doesn't want me".

thats just a little bit of what I had to deal with.
Betsy

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