Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Brat Camp
Karen In Dallas
Nonconformistlaw:
I did not mean to suggest that you limit your kids to a 5 minute time limit as a definite cut off. :smile: I think in your role as a parent, since you have consistently allowed your children to vent as you said, then 5 minutes or so (sometimes longer)might be all they need.
For kids in juvenile detention, since most of these kids never seem to have had any healthy outlet, I give them free rein on the venting because of their circumstances. And I occasionally throw in my thoughts, or ask a question to keep them going, but the vast majority of the time, they have the floor. For them it may take hours, days, weeks, months, etc. to express years of pent up rage and to learn to express their anger in words, not by acting out. I suspect kids in "programs" would also need free rein as well.
Anyway, I applaud the parenting/therapy "venting technique." I was really just elaborating on your point with my experience doing the same thing. I wish "programs" would give the idea serious consideration. It stands a chance of making a difference whereas coercion will only create more anger, that a kid will need to vent later, one way or another.
Deborah:
Yeh, I didn't get that you were implying that.
It was refresing too to hear that someone was doing this in the JJ system. Those were some lucky kids!! And I'd imagine that for some of them it might take hundreds of hours.
What did your peers/superiors think? Was it accepted or did you have to fly under the radar?
When my older son returned from a program with 'PTSD' I was frequently up til the wee hours of the morning. Listening and listening and listening. Not so much venting anger, as crying and sorting out confusion.
I don't know if it would ever be adopted by a program. It's time consuming, would require special training, but most of all... it goes against the current erroneous belief that- If you can make a person ACT OK, then they ARE OK. Feelings are to be suppressed and controlled, with BM, and drugs if need be. Wrong.
[ This Message was edited by: Deborah on 2005-08-06 15:05 ]
Deborah:
Shortbus,
My guess, in your situation you had assumed the role of authority in their lives, therefore all their pent up resentments and anger toward their parents, teachers, judges, etc got laid on you. Plus man, you were participating in their incarceration by 'colluding' with the 'enemy'.
Not taking things personally is essential, but hard to do sometimes.
Your comment about humor is soo true. I always hated the constant, unrelenting somber tone of the staff at the facility. Enough to depress the most happy person. Laughing alters brain chemistry in a positive way. Why would they keep kids in a constant state of seriousness. It's like a convent or something. Like it's a sin to be happy. You're not 'working your program' OR 'you're not looking at your issues' if you're the least bit happy. Happiness only allowed at group assemblies with choreographed performances always of a 'therapeutic' nature. A smile could be covering a lie or run plan. Best break out a restriction.
OverLordd:
--- Quote ---Vitor Belfort sprinting out into the ring and kneeing Jay Kay in the forehead and splitting it open would be absolutely awesome
Then again, Id rather just let Vanderlei Silva go 1v1 with everyone one after another and have a ton of mops on hand
--- End quote ---
Dude, as long as there are some submission holds tossed in I'm happy. "What, you want to tap out, no you still seem like you might get up and hurt some one or your self, sorry."
Shortbus:
THere were times that I got sooooo sick of therapy... and I could never dish out consequences that had no purpose. That doesnt teach anything. If a student doesnt want to build a shelter, fine but if it rains youll get wet. I had better things to do than punish. As far as I was concerned that wasnt my job. If Suzies job tonight is to build a fire and she doesnt then you guys work it out. THe students I had were pretty good at calling bullshit and policing each other. Not always but if they were, then great, it made my job easier. And fun, theres absolutely no reason why a certain amount of time every day should not be dedicated to fun.
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