Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Some insight(s)
JaLong:
I want to thank you John for posting. I remember you from the St. Pete Seed. You know after reading what you have written, I have got to say my experience wasn't too bad. I think the worst part was my parents getting me into the car, driving up Park Blvd, and my Dad handing me a phoney court order. Then Mrs Peterman threatening me to sign the intake form or I'd be arrested. I was so scared, because my best friend and her brother were in there and I knew they were on Staff. Linda and Bruce Delk. I use go to the Seed and harrass the place. I was a very insecure, low self-esteem, angry girl at 17.
Once I was in there, I saw people smiling, which is not something I did very often. I wanted what I saw in others. Slowly but surely I started getting it. Having "buster" newcomers as a responsibility helped my self-esteem. The downside was I started having a lot of anxiety, and then panic attacks. I hated being called on.
As the time went on I was learning whom I was. I started to like myself, even to love myself. To make a long story short, I hated being in there only because I felt the Seed and staff had full control of me. That was my ego. It has been 31 years since that time. I didn't drink for 19 yrs after, now just occasionally, I have never gone back to drugs, and I still carry with me, and live the principals of the program. I always thought I was "Korean styled brainwashed", because that's what the newspapers said. I didn't know what was going on behind the scenes with some parents. I too remember a boy being hit, and someone getting hit with a belt by a parent back in the office. I held a resentment towards my parents for a long time, but heck, they saved my life. I have lost 19 old friends,mostly from overdose, but I am still here. And very happy also. Please continue to post. What you wrote helped me to see what really happened. I need to know that. Thanks!
Julie
Anonymous:
I think what you said was very powerful. I know that if it were not for the Seed I would not be here today with such a nice life.
I was never happy in my life and not even as a child. I only found happiness when I learned how to love myself and others. I can't express all that the Seed gave me in my life. They gave me lots of things that I rely on today. I know that not everything in life is perfect but I feel the Seed did more positive things in my life than anything.
I was at the Seed until the end which was probably one of the worst times in my life, but I still have such treasured memories of all of the wonderful years I shared with others.
It was nice to see your post and hear what you have to say after all of these years.
GregFL:
So from my conversation with John I learned that he came into the seed on the front row, and the theory that maybe he brought the synanon style techniques flies out the window.
Good. What we need is less speculation and more facts.
John, here are a few questions for you.
Were ANY of the early staff members brought in without going thru the program?
Do you remember ever meeting Robert Dupont personally? If so, Did he make any demands or suggestions on the program, and are you aware that he testified in court that the "Beginning of all this" (talking about straight that came from the seed) was the synanon?
Now, he could have been talking about the theraputic community (TC) concept in general or he could have meant a direct connection. This is why so many people have speculated that there was a direct connection from the seed to the synanon. I tried for a long time to make this connection and never could and eventually stopped believing it existed.
thanks in advance...
Anonymous:
I have posted on this site a few other times in past about my experience at the Seed about both the good and the bad.
I was a part of the Seed for about 6 years and I will say I?m grateful for all those years.
My experiences of those years are what formulated the foundation of what I base my life on today. I can remember that warm sunny October afternoon walking up the stairs on State Road 84 blinded by the sunlight as it contrasted with the shadow of the rap room and seeing for the first time all the clean cut smiling faces that were so welcoming me. I can remember being so scared by this that I felt like turning around running for that gate on 84 and just keep running till I could go no more. I choose not to run and stay and take my medicine because my past indicated to me that I really had no clue how to manage my life. I was 22 years old seasoned veteran druggie that was release from the Dade county jail to the Seed looking for a last shot of redemption.
I had no clue what I was getting into at the time I would have been happy if I just would have been taught how I could go through one day without having to get high.
In retrospect I learned a whole world of knowledge which over the years has became so entrenched and synonymous with the person I have become and hopefully with the person I will someday fully evolve into.
The Seed was not perfect as none of us are and the Seed grew and evolved as we did. There came a time when I began to feel stifled and over controlled by the Seed and after many years I?ve come to the conclusion that it was just my time to move on and to venture on my own and apply what I had learned and to rely on my new foundation.
In this time my perception changed as I changed I grew in knowledge, strength and the group thinking became well formulated opinions based on a practical understanding.
I do not look at my time at the Seed with regret or frustration nor do I harbor any resentment toward the Seed quiet the contrary, I hold those years as very special and for the most part with much fondness especially to the friendships that formulated into very solid bonds so too which are very much a part of my life and add so much to what I count as my blessings. I often find myself wondering how some old friend I have not heard from in years is doing. Do they remember me in a good way do they hold the Seed in the same light as I do?
I often thought that I was unique in the importance or the impression the Seed had placed on me but, one thing that has been become so very clear to me by reading all the post is what a profound impression the Seed has left on all those who found themselves walking in through those doors.
?May God bless us; everyone?
GregFL:
BTW....Welcome John Ft Pierce!
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