Look, man, Penis Birding is an art
and a science---creating the ASCII symbol for this wonderful behavior will come naturally once you've mastered it. Look around in jungles, zoos, and pet shops for a bird that you seem to have a connection with, and get started. In the beginning, I recommend you wear a leather sheath on your member, at least until you and your bird of choicce have developed a good rapport.
About your threats, the recently formed Penis Bird Liberation Front doesn't take kindly to those that would interfere with the right of anyone to Penis Bird, and if your threats (which are obviously inspired by jealousy) continue, you can expect a visit from the PBLF Commando Squad
real soon. Keep your eye out for the black helicopter emblazoned with the Penis Bird logo.......
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