Author Topic: Past Student  (Read 6235 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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« on: July 11, 2005, 04:46:00 AM »
I am a former member of peer group 50..

As Cliche as this may sound...
 I might not be alive if I had not been sent there..but the "program and counseling" of HLA did not change me. I changed because of the friendships I made and hardships I endured (both self inflicted and external) during my stay at HLA-- Happiness is simply a choice- and HLA was a def. experience that made what I thought were hard situations and the "miserable" life I thought I was being forced to live a MUCH DESIRED AND NOW APPRECIATED cakewalk and adventure.  I am open to talk on any subject (emotions felt, stories, and more) and share the TRUTHS of what I, my parents, and cousin, all expierenced while residing in the mountains of Dahlonega (incl. prev. behaviors, fam info, etc) up to my life outlook and opinions of the present day. I have many untainted memories and advice for anyone who made need it.  
You can even email me--- PixieAnn1385@yahoo.com
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2005, 08:15:00 AM »
:???:

so what changed besides your perspective? ... hope that works out for you in the long run...
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Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2005, 02:21:00 PM »
Hey, could you throw out the hackeneyed buzzwords and spindoctoring and try to present some freaking facts?

How did HLA actually help you? What was your problem to begin with? If suffering is 'good' for you and fixes you, why couldnt you just hire some thugs off the street to beat you within a inch of your life so you can go write some feel-good book about it?

If "hardship" and "friends" fix it, then why bother with programs at all? Go let your kid live in the street for a few months and it would be fixed - and cost you so much less money.

And now the liberals want to stop President Reagan from selling chemical warfare agents and military equipment to Saddam Hussein and why? Because Saddam 'allegedly' gassed a few Kurds in his own country. Mark my words. All of this talk of Saddam Hussein being a 'war criminal' or 'committing crimes against humanity' is the same old thing. LIBERAL HATE SPEECH! and speaking of poison gas... I SAY WE ROUND UP ALL THE DRUG ADDICTS AND GAS THEM TOO!
 
--Rush Limbaugh, November 3, 1988

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
DannyB on the internet:I CALLED A LAWYER TODAY TO SEE IF I COULD SUE YOUR ASSES FOR DOING THIS BUT THAT WAS NOT POSSIBLE.

CCMGirl on program restraints: "DON\'T TAZ ME BRO!!!!!"

TheWho on program survivors: "From where I sit I see all the anit-program[sic] people doing all the complaining and crying."

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2005, 09:52:00 PM »
well yah, when the elephant gets off your foot of course it feels better.  When I first got out of lockdown, it felt like a total cakewalk, everything was so easy and I was not afraid of anything, 'cause of course, no one in the real world gets bound and drugged for giggling.  I tricked myself into believing that now that I was out of lockdown, I was completely FREE.  I quickly became one of the most popular girls at my school, I was involved in all the extra-ciricular activities, I was dating an cute older guy, oh it was great to be me.  I could take on so much at once because I'd been trained to be more like a machine than a human.   Then my senior year, 9/11 happened.  It was a real wake-up call.  I started to question what I had previously thought of as my "freedom."  I thought that just because I could go outside, I was free.  I saw people losing their jobs, homeland security, the patriot act, flags springing up everywhere "we will never forget."  Then it hit me, we are all just living in one big lockdown facility.  

All the confidence that I had learned to fake in the program so I could make my status in the level system revealed itself as just a front I was forced to put on in order to avoid punishment.  

Then in every single person I saw it, I saw that facade- meekly disguising a fear that everyone has- the fear that come down to it, your status in the level system of life is futile.  I really started to question what I had been put through and who I was, and shit I'm still questioning it today.  Then I stopped acting.  I put down my front.  I stopped being the cute and cheery all-American super-teen that everyone loved, and I started trying to find the real me, the me that had a stong spirit and real passion, and a sparkle in my eye that died the day I was thrown in an observation cell.  Maybe one day I'll find her.  -cm
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2005, 10:48:00 PM »
Cm, don't fret and don't worry. I think maybe you're just cursed w/ intelligence. If you get into history (which I can't recomend highly enough, cause you didn't learn any in highschool) you'll see the same theme again and again; leaders seducing followers, followers blithely following, even into war.

But there are cool people here and there. They often land up in jail cells like Thoreau or Ghandi or as laughing stocks. The really, really smart ones? They do standup and claim they like getting laughed at.

But don't despair just cause the `50's never happened or damned near everyone seems so gullible. It's always been this way. You just have to find your poise and grace anyway.

 :wave:

It is criminal to steal a purse. It is daring to steal a fortune. It is a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases

--Schiller (1759-1805)

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2005, 11:05:00 PM »
cm,
Just wanted to appreciate you for sharing your story and perspective, particularly re: 'one big lockdown', and trained to be 'more like a machine than a human'.

Are you refering to HLA as a 'lockdown'?
If you care to share more, I'm curious about 'bound and drugged for giggling' and 'observation cell'.

Sounds like you're well on your way to reclaiming the 'real' you. Kuddos. My son, is still burdened with the 'facade' (conditioning), but just so releaved to have the elephant off his foot that he doesn't want to look back. Everyone in their own time.

How long were you there? How old were you?
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Offline bandit1978

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« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2005, 01:52:00 AM »
cm...uh yeah, when you start to question your beliefs, thats called growing up.  

And no offense, but I really hate it when people talk about 9/11, especially people who weren't even there...
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egan Flynn
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2005, 12:33:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-07-11 22:52:00, bandit1978 wrote:

And no offense, but I really hate it when people talk about 9/11, especially people who weren't even there...


Oh god, me too! Especially when it's that smirking chimp and he's using it to justify his buddies' imperial aspirations!

I give money for church organs in the hope the organ music will distract the congregation's attention from the rest of the service.
--Andrew Carnegie, Scottish-born American industrialist and philanthropist

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline bandit1978

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« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2005, 05:07:00 PM »
It's funny, that in the two cities that were most affected, Bush did not win the majority vote (not in 2000 or 2004).
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egan Flynn
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2005, 05:29:00 PM »
No offense meant, but on 9/11 we were all "there."

If you could go to the grocery store or the mall or anyplace in public without being terrified the next few months, you were different from most of the people around here.

We're all still "there" every time we fly on a plane.  I guess unless it's a charter flight--I'm not rich enough to know what has and hasn't changed for those.

It's different from the people who were in the WTC, or their close friends and families, or the people who were in the shadow of the buildings, or even New Yorkers generally, or people in the Pentagon, or the families of the people on the planes, or the people who "almost" took one of those flights but didn't.  Or all the people in the airports who got grounded that day.

But we were all "there" as we watched and didn't know if there were any more planes, or how many there were, or whether there were other kinds of follow-up attacks and how bad and where *they* were.  If you had a loved one working in a tall building in a major city, you were "there."

I live in Metro Atlanta, and we were scared spitless down here.

Okay, so someone wasn't "there."  You still can't know if they had friends or family working in the Pentagon, or another prominent DC building, or the Sears Tower, or the Hancock Building (also Chicago), or the IBM Tower (not particularly famous, but an eye-catching part of the Atlanta skyline).

If you lived in a metro area, *you* didn't even know which friends you'd lost track of were working in the city's skyscrapers.

My brother-in-law is a 2LT in the Army getting ready to deploy to Iraq.  A good friend is going over soon with Blackwater.  One of my husband's best friends from college was in the fighting in Afghanistan and is now active duty pretty much for the duration--which pretty much ended his corporate life for a long time.  A friend's husband got called up and the deployment is putting serious financial and marital pressure on his family.  If you live in a military family, 9/11 changed *everything*.

Whether you do or don't approve of Iraq, and you probably don't, we wouldn't be there if not for 9/11.  It changed everything.

Timoclea
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Offline bandit1978

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« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2005, 06:38:00 PM »
I feel terrible for those with family or friends fighting in these wars.  Thats something that I just will never understand, cause I really don't know anyone in the military.

But being in Atlanta was not the same as being in Dc or NY on that day.  Not even close.  

My sister was in North Carolina at school, and she said that one of her classmates said that NC has like the 8th largest oil fields or something, blah,blah,blah...so they were worried.  Thats what everyone says.  

But unless you actually had your apartment smoked out, and had to evacuate "independence day" style, you were not there.
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egan Flynn
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2005, 10:10:00 PM »
It sounds like you may be getting angry or frustrated at the wrong people.

At the same time, I'm sorry for how hard it must have been for you--it sounds like you're speaking about what happened for you that day.

T.
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Offline bandit1978

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« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2005, 08:42:00 AM »
I'm not mad, just annoyed.  

But really I'm in no position to judge the experiences of others, nor their response to these things.  

One of my friends took her 5 year old son to a hill to watch the Pentagon smoking.  This reporter was like "uh...so why did you bring your son here?"
 :wstupid:
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egan Flynn
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2005, 12:45:00 AM »
I don't think it's so much the event of 9/11 that made people question things-  I think it was the aftermath.  All the new security laws and all the heightened prejudice towards foriegners.  Also all the incongruent "facts", the foreknowledge that many higher-ups seem to have had, and that it sevred as an excuse for war and the overt, almost phoney, patriotism that everyone adopted in the wake of event, etc.
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Offline bandit1978

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« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2005, 12:09:00 AM »
The ironic thing is, the people in NY and DC did not even vote majority for Bush, and most of us have never supported the war!
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egan Flynn
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