You are all addicted to being in cults

[AARCgrad]

I just came across this website by mistake and this will be my first AND last time writing here.  I have no idea what Kids (or any of those other rehabs) are like but I graduated from AARC about 6 years ago. I could go on and on about how AARC abused me and feel angry every day about the fact that I spent almost a year and a half there when I'm not even an alcoholic (I've been drinking socially for years).  But I have chosen to go on with my life and make the best of my experiences.  I agree that AARC is like a cult, but all of you have formed your own cult with this website.  GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES!  How are you ever going to feel freedom from this experience if you check this website everyday and think about it all the time?  I have no idea what my life would be like if I never went through AARC- all I know is that my life is fantastic now, and that's all that matters to me. I went through a really hard time when I first "relapsed" but now I'm living with my family, doing great in university, travelling across the world-  and having a drink every now and then. Because I don't let AARC influence my thinking anymore, I have no reason to hate them- they can only affect you as much as you let them. If there was just one thing you should have learned in AARC, it's the serenity prayer- we cannot change what we've been through, but we can choose how we feel/think about it.  I always used to think that "what doesn't kill you makes you insane", but I really do believe now that it can make you stronger- if you STOP DWELLING IN IT! I don't know if what I did will work for anyone else or whether or not you're alcoholics but I'm pretty sure that if you want to feel stronger (instead of insane), make this the last message on this website you read and figure out for yourselves what you need to do to finally feel that serenity that we were promised (in step 7?) but never felt.
Good luck
 :wave:

[velvet2000]

Grad, I'm happy that you have gone on with your life and found what's right for you, but you need to understand that these websites are a service for all AARC grads, and everyone is going to need to handle things differently, and it doesn't mean that these boards are a group that keeps people coming back like they have to in order to survive, the way that AARC taught us. I had many years out of AARC, and decided as and adult that I would like to do something for the sake of the other kids. I personally believe that if you feel you've been abused in AARC that every day you do nothing about it you are contributing to the abuse of hundreds of more kids. We can all contribute in our own ways, starting this board is one of the ways that I have contributed for those who are still living with their parents, scared of what they will do if they turn against AARC's ways, and afraid that they are the only ones who feel that they were in a cult. Some grads I keep contact with don't come here because it is upsetting in their lives. There are others who don't publically post but feel that reading others experiences that help them. Everyone needs to do what is right for them, and this board is right for some people. Think about the new wave of grads coming out who have already heard about these boards and know that as soon as they're out they can use their voice to make a difference in Alberta because people are waiting to hear from them now.

[AARCgrad]

I know that I said I wouldn't write again, but I was curious to see the reactions to what I wrote-and I have to say, I really love it when people prove my point.  This website might help people.  To be honest with you, it reminds me of AA meetings- just a bunch of bitter people making eachother feel justified in being bitter.  Maybe you all think I'm rude and egocentrical for criticizing something that has improved a few peoples' lives- but do you really think that AARC hasn't improved a single person's life?  I feel the need to clarify my statement that "AARC abused me".  We always say "AARC", but it's not like the building abused us.  When I say I felt abused, I am mainly talking about a couple of oldcomers I had and two staff members who (to my knowledge) no longer work at AARC- Mr.G and Mr.Haag.  If I found out that they still worked at AARC, then I would have different feelings about it.  I believe that Dr.Vause started AARC with good intentions but he has made mistakes.  5 years ago, I was so angry and confused that I would have NEVER believed that I would even slightly defend Dr.Vause, but I know for a fact that he cared about me, as I'm sure he feels about all of the kids who have gone through AARC.  I respect what you are trying to do Velvet, but like you, Dr.Vause did what he thought would help us when we had very few alternatives.  Maybe Dr.Vause did get a bit cocky over the years and can't see his mistakes because his head is so far up his ass, but from what I've heard about KIDS and STRAIT, AARC is not as bad as some people are making it sound.

My point is, if AARC is still bothering some of you this much after 10 or so years, then you have deeper issues.  Although AARC might not be great, it's all some (very unfortunate) people have.  A few people I know personally have greatly benefited from AARC, so even though I haven't- I don't think that it's right to try to stop something that for some people, is their only hope.  Coming on this website and bitching about AARC and how Dr.Vause is responsible for someone's suicide is just pathetic and harsh and does not help anyone.  You can focus on the good things that you learned in AARC, or you can focus on all the bad.  Some of you even claim to still be sober- do you honestly think that AARC had no part in that?  In your reply Velvet, you can replace your feelings about this website with Dr.Vause's feelings about AARC.  You might not think that that is a fair comparison because this website doesn't abuse people, but I think that it does- I think that it contributes to bitterness and gives people an excuse to not take respnsibility for their lives.  I CANNOT REST UNTIL YOU ARE ALL STOPPED!  (that was a joke)



I sincerely sympathize with some of you and wish you all the best, but move on or seek professional help- this website is not the way.



[ This Message was edited by: AARCgrad on 2002-12-03 00:08 ]

[velvet2000]

If you don't know what Kids of North Jersey is, then why were you posting on thier board months ago about the history of Kids - AARC? Back then you were a one 100 % happy AARC grad. You just found this web page you say? Another reason for a "fess up" rap I guess, or yet another case of MPD.

Takes a lot of nerve for you to go against former employees on a public forum that way. What did they ever do to make you so angry at them, or is it just simply that by moving on they betrayed AARC?

[AARCgrad]

Velvet,  I seriously have NO idea what you're talking about.  There wasn't a single thing in your reply that made any sense to me whatsoever. I'm guessing someone with the same username as me wrote a few months ago- do you really think that AARCgrad is such an original username that it could only be me?
I can tell that my presence on this site is not wanted, and to be honest with you, I wish I never found it. I really don't feel like dealing with this anymore because like I said, I have found peace and happiness.  Ever since I found this site 2 DAYS AGO, I have felt so sad knowing that there are so many people feeling as I did 4-5 years ago.  It's a terrible way to feel and I believe that you are just the blind leading the blind.  You can write whatever you want in reply to this, but I assure you, I won't be reading it.  If I kept coming to this site, I would be a hypocrite. I was hoping to try and help people achieve what I have, but the only thing I've  accomplished in writing on this site is frustrating myself because none of you seem to want to understand.  I have nothing else to say here.
Goodbye

[Anonymous]

Hmmm
It seems that AARC grad is troubled by this site.  Is he trying to convince you, velvet, or himself?
If AARC is a construct of the war on drugs and an offshoot of the "KIDS" and "straights", as it seems to be, it is simply not acceptable to say, "oh well, it was a bad experience, I'm just going to move on with my life. I don't care about the current inmates of the system, they'll survive!  After all I survived, whay can't they?"
Read Noam Chomsky.  Consider that the cabal that now operates the White house is bullying the world into this way of thinking.  Think that Jeb Bush's daughter may be trying to tell us all something.
    :roll:

[velvet2000]

It seems that the problem with AARC grad is that he doesn't understand the concept of I.P addresses, and the fact that every time he posts on any of these boards I can access that. It has nothing to do with whether or not you post anonymously, or what name you guys use, okay?

[Anonymous]

Hey ARRCgrad, you should carry this sign when you hang with velvet:

 ::rocker::

[Anonymous]

"I don't think that it's right to try to stop something that for some people, is their only hope."

But, of course, AARC isn't a cult... right???

[Anonymous]

I feel the need to clarify my statement that "AARC abused me". We always say "AARC", but it's not like the building abused us. When I say I felt abused, I am mainly talking about a couple of oldcomers I had and two staff members who (to my knowledge) no longer work at AARC- Mr.G and Mr.Haag. If I found out that they still worked at AARC, then I would have different feelings about it. I believe that Dr.Vause started AARC with good intentions but he has made mistakes. 5 years ago, I was so angry and confused that I would have NEVER believed that I would even slightly defend Dr.Vause, but I know for a fact that he cared about me, as I'm sure he feels about all of the kids who have gone through AARC. I respect what you are trying to do Velvet, but like you, Dr.Vause did what he thought would help us when we had very few alternatives. Maybe Dr.Vause did get a bit cocky over the years and can't see his mistakes because his head is so far up his ass,

Goes to show the power of the treatment of AARC... years after leaving this person stumbles on fornits and is flooded with confusing feelings.

[Anonymous]

I feel the need to clarify my statement that "AARC abused me". We always say "AARC", but it's not like the building abused us. When I say I felt abused, I am mainly talking about a couple of oldcomers I had and two staff members who (to my knowledge) no longer work at AARC- Mr.G and Mr.Haag. If I found out that they still worked at AARC, then I would have different feelings about it. I believe that Dr.Vause started AARC with good intentions but he has made mistakes. 5 years ago, I was so angry and confused that I would have NEVER believed that I would even slightly defend Dr.Vause, but I know for a fact that he cared about me, as I'm sure he feels about all of the kids who have gone through AARC. I respect what you are trying to do Velvet, but like you, Dr.Vause did what he thought would help us when we had very few alternatives. Maybe Dr.Vause did get a bit cocky over the years and can't see his mistakes because his head is so far up his ass,

Goes to show the power of the treatment of AARC... years after leaving this person stumbles on fornits and is flooded with confusing feelings. I wonder what "mistakes" this person is referring to?