help me please

[Anonymous]

umm, i don't really know who to ask about this, so i thought i'd just ask it here.  sorry if it's completely wrong for this group--i don't really know that much about this community.

so, i am fifteen years old and have never had a problem with depression or anything.  but around three months ago, i suddenly developed an all-consuming case of it, which i thought might just pass in a couple days.  i could not find a cause for it, except for maybe as an after effect of smoking marijuana, which i had started doing more and more often.

as my depression grew more intense, i began to become more and more anxious.  i turned to bulimia as a stress reliever.  this only encouraged my depression.  i am slightly overweight and have been my entire life, but my eating disorder was not driven by a need to be thinner, although that was also attractive.

shortly after i began forcing myself to vomit, i started cutting myself.  i had bulimic habits for around two and a half weeks until i grew too tired to continue with them.  i was also not noticing any change in my weight.  it has been two more weeks since i have thrown up, and my friend told me recently that i look thinner suddenly.  this seems to be impossible, as i have not been dieting or anything.  

i continue to cut myself, although i have not smoked marijuana for two weeks, in hopes of brightening my mood.  i am trying to stop, buti feel like i cannot do that until my depression is completely gone (i am in the process of discussing medication with my mother).

anyway, i didn't mean to tell my entire life story here, but i am very late for my period (no, i am not sexually active), and i was wondering if anyone would know why that is.

[OverLordd]

Stay calm and keep looking around ok, some one here will get to you. We have alot of knowledgeable people here who can help you.

[Anonymous]

Your period is late because of the eating disorder. I urge you to talk to your parents or an adult that you can trust. This is a very serious issue.

[Anonymous]

New user. 2nd post! (First post in Tranquility bay topic - Page 11)

Ok, to the user who just posted the crisis comments...

I think you realise that what you are doing is somehow wrong, hence your posting. That's a very good sign. I think you need to talk to someone and to try to understand just what is happening inside of you, and causing you to harm yourself.

Firstly, and most importantly... Don't take anything of what anyone tells you on the internet seriously. Not even me.

Why?

Most people have something to tell you, but it does not mean ANYONE is an expert. Not even those who try to tell you they are. Everyone here is anonymous, further highlighted by my not choosing a username. What difference would it make? What is MOST important is that you recognise that you need some help or counselling, and that is what you should concentrate on.

If you feel talking to others on the internet is helping you in some way then that is great, but please, and I can't stress this enough. Don't think that anyone here has some, or any of the answers you seek. They cannot understand you in any detailed way, because they don't know you.

That is why you must seek some form of personal counselling, where you can talk to someone who will ultimately help you understand yourself.

So now that I have said all that, what do you do next? Well, if you do wish to talk more, and are open to some ideas that may assist you, I would be glad to provide you with a world of information that might help you find the answers that you seek.

I won't post them here right now, as I don't want to lecture you or bore you. Just have a think abou  what has been said, and if you wish to talk, then simply reply, and I'll check this thread tomorrow.

Don't despair. Everything can change. Each time the sun rises it has a new perspective on this world, and so should you.

Anonymous.

[Anonymous]

To the person who started this thread: you reminded me how painful and confusing it was to be your age. I think you should be treated gently.

Kids like you, really sweet kids who are going through a hard time, sometimes get locked up in abusive programs that are anything but gentle to them. Your post just kind of reminded me how tragic that is.

Something is bothering you and it is good that you want to deal with it. I sincerely hope that the adults you find to help you are gentle, knowledgeable, and respectful of your human rights, privacy and dignity.

[Antigen]

Ok, I have to disagree w/ OverLord here. The one thing Fornits users have in common is some level of interest in an extremely fucked up industry. There is absolutely no qualification for posting here. You might just as well go to a subway stop or a biker bar and ask the same questions.

That's just a disclaimer for ya. You may get some great and helpful ideas or the very next poster might tell you to off yourself or worship Satan or start shooting smack. It's a crap shoot.

The one bit of advice I can give you w/ confidence is this: make sure you and your parents understand how the troubled parent industry markets to people in your position so that you won't be taken in by it. I wish I could be more helpful than that. But I know my limits. I'm not anywhere near qualified to sort out the problems you describe.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
-- Dave Barry

_________________
Ginger Warbis ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Seed `71 - `80
Straight, Sarasota
   10/80 - 10/82
Anonymity Anonymous
return undef() if /coercion/i;

[Anonymous]

thanks to everyone.  i appreciate your concern and answers.  but what i am really concerned about is the fact that i have not gotten my period. i don't think it has to do with my former eating disorder as i stopped my bulimic habits more than two weeks ago.

i am in therepy and have been a month or two. no, my parents do not know about the cutting or the bulimia, but they know about the depression, which is why we were considering medication.  as it turns out, i'm not going to go on it, but i just wanted to tell everyone that it's not like my parents think i am on top of the world or anything.

again, thank you so much everyone.

[Anonymous]

I think the answer as to why you haven't gotten your period may be simple.

If you've not had sex then you're not pregnant.

If you were normal, it would probably have arrived as normal. Admittedly you've recently gone through a lot, and any time that you alter your metabolism even slightly there are going to be some repercussions.

I think stress, and the bulimia are probably what has caused your period to be later or 'skipped'

What you should do is talk to your therapist, explain what is bothering you and listen to their advice. They are skilled and will have better answers than you will find here. Be as honest with them as you can be, and they'll do all they can to help.

Best of luck to you.

Anonymous.

[OverLordd]

Ok, I have to disagree w/ OverLord here.

Antigen, you misunderstand, we agree, I just have a poor way of communicating it or somthing. There is no qualifcation for posting here, and all I ment by my comment is we have people here who can and would like to help, as well as some people that know what said anon went through and how to help her fix it. Thats all I ment, I did not mean that we have experts or anything hehe. I'm sorry if I came across as saying that.

[Anonymous]

Your vocabulary seems to be older than a 15 year old girl. I don't think you become "bulimic" in 2 1/2 weeks. Also, you're not going to miss your period after throwing up for 2 1/2 weeks; there is something else going on that perhaps you aren't being honest about or maybe you're too young for a regular period. Anxiety, depression- anything can affect your cycle. Quit smoking dope and see if you feel better, some people can handle dope and some people can't. Maybe you can't. Quit cutting yourself too, the scars will be with you for the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Overlord, you seem to know a lot about a whole lot. Do you think you can change the world just by posting on this website? You're here, there, and everywhere! Giving everyone advice and a shouder to cry on...get some experience first!

[Paul]

Self-Mutilation

Katie Budke, B.S., C.H.E.S.
Health Educator
Health Iowa/Student Health Service
First Published: May 2004
Last Revised: June 2004
Peer Review Status: Internally Reviewed

A friend of mine cuts himself. He feels like life is pointless, though he wouldn't do anything to end it. He doesn't think there is anything anyone can do to help him. Could you please suggest some options?

Cutting is a form of self-mutilation and definitely needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. Self-mutilation is typically caused by psychological problems and can take the form of not only cutting, but burning, scratching, pulling out hair and could even be as extreme as breaking bones or amputation. Many times the cutting or other form of self-mutilation may be linked to drug or alcohol abuse, an eating disorder, or a history of sexual and/or physical abuse. It is most common in young adults and women.

Obviously your friend is hurting and his behavior of cutting is his cry for help. I'm so glad that he has you for a friend and that you are willing to help him out. Cutting is a way that some people deal with their pain, and your friend needs to learn how to deal with that pain in a healthy manner. This can best take place by meeting with a mental health professional. This would be a good starting point for your friend, and he can at least find out that there is help available.

More here:
http://www.vh.org/adult/patient/familym ... ation.html

[Antigen]

On 2005-06-30 15:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

there is something else going on that perhaps you aren't being honest about

Darlin' (original anon poster), this is just the sort of subtle poison I was trying to warn you about. This is the essence of the Program. It's based on the wild fallacy that, whatever problem you may have or whatever problem any parent, teacher, shrink or self proclaimed self help expert may think you have, it all comes down to some moral imperative.

Most girls sent to these very tough programs missed a couple of periods. Some missed them entirely for over a year. When we did get them, we all got them at the same time. We still don't know for sure why this happened. Might be stress alone. Might have to do w/ the group synchronizing to whoever was the alpha. Might be something in the water or something else entirely.

I suppose if you were my daughter, I'd want to check w/ a good physician and rule out any serious medical problems. Also, read up on medical issues relating to missed mensus. I wouldn't dream of giving you any such advice if you hadn't asked and I would remind you that none of us are qualified to give medical or psyche advice at all; especially not w/ such little info to go on!

But please disregard this program holdover "Get Honest!!!" as a means of addressing amenorrhea. It's just plain bad advice!

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
"Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?"
--Hobbs to Calvin

[OverLordd]

Overlord, you seem to know a lot about a whole lot. Do you think you can change the world just by posting on this website? You're here, there, and everywhere! Giving everyone advice and a shouder to cry on...get some experience first!

So I have to have experiance to try and help people? What kind of life view is that? I have to have experiance to care? To want to fix things? No I cant change things from this website, I know that, but it can tied me over untill I can fix things.

[Dear Gabby]

On 2005-06-29 19:16:00, Anonymous wrote:

"thanks to everyone.  i appreciate your concern and answers.  but what i am really concerned about is the fact that i have not gotten my period. i don't think it has to do with my former eating disorder as i stopped my bulimic habits more than two weeks ago.



i am in therepy and have been a month or two. no, my parents do not know about the cutting or the bulimia, but they know about the depression, which is why we were considering medication.  as it turns out, i'm not going to go on it, but i just wanted to tell everyone that it's not like my parents think i am on top of the world or anything.



again, thank you so much everyone."

I don't know if this will help but alot of the roloff girls had trouble with thier cycle when they got put in the homes. I also was one of those girls and I was 13. All of our eating habits where changed and the stress of adjusting from one life to another being taken away from home the stress. I had problems but the other girls as far as I know went on to have children and basicly back to the norm. unless they ran out and got in trouble like me again. What can I say it was the end of the war. Off subject a lot of perverts came back home, and a lot of drugs-
hurt a lot of children that didn't know what they where getting into.