This is like getting to be a battle of the posts here. :rofl:
Yes, I find your posts helpful and interesting to read as well. Again, I do not agree with everything you post either, but it gets me to thinking.
About 2 years ago I "voluntarily" went for "therapy". To be honest there was no one left to bitch and complain to so what better way to make someone listen to me than paying them. Sort of joking and sort of not.
Well after 4 sessions I had nothing left to talk about and decided I wanted to be done. Wait my therapist says, you have 20 sessions that will be paid for by insurance and I don't think it's time to end because you still have insomnia".
So I stick around for a few more sessions and decide that hey if I'm here I might as well talk about all the underlying crap that got me to this place today. Instead she keeps redirecting me to focus on the current shit like hating having to work w/ a co-worker that is Satan's sister, my job position being restructed due to downsizing and the firing of all my immediate co-workers and to top it all off my father threw me away just like yesterday's trash all in the same time period.
I just said to myself fuck it I can't change the assholes of the world and why should I have to adapt to any of these asshole's behavior. It's their sick asses that need the therapy. I was done talking about it. I wanted to talk about other painful stuff from my childhood now.
Oh yeah let me throw in this other tidbit of info. Since I'm honest I disclosed my stay in treatment on my intake. So once again I'm assigned to another dual diagnosis therapist. It seemed like every week I found myself having to be on guard and convince this woman I had no drug problem. I don't use drugs, but the sneaky little questions just kept coming up.
I finally had enough and stopped at 8 sessions or so. No meds right now, although I'm not ruling them out. It seems I've become immune to the only one I was willing to take and I won't try any other ones.
Too frightening. Tried one in my program and it had me like a zombie. I don't know what the solution is. I can't even go back to self medicating myself with alcohol or illegal drugs anymore because I don't have any desire and they don't give me the effects I once enjoyed.
Some days are good and many are hard. What can I do. It's life I guess.
