Author Topic: "Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.  (Read 1849 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Topic: on the run


 irol  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,5,1,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 05:01 AM                                  

Well, my son has decided to continue skipping school. We've played the tough love game as best as possible -- no money, no car, no cell phone. Now he just doesn't come home and doesn't contact us. I know he's okay through friends, etc...  I remember reading about kids like him on this post a couple of years ago and thinking wow, I'm glad that's not me. Ha! But there is a difference this time around in his behavior. I feel like we've tried so hard and now I'm not sure I care. Does anyone get to the point where they just don't care?

Can I stop caring?  

 Posts: 176 | From: Madison | Registered: Apr 2003    |  Logged: 24.241.224.35 |   






 KareninDallas  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,5,33,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 05:33 AM                                  

Lori, I'm so sorry.  Yes, maybe the message he needs is that you have stopped caring. He isn't 18 yet, though.  Not sure of your state's law, but you are probably still legally responsible for him.  

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 goldenguru  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,5,43,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 05:43 AM                                  

Lori~
"Not caring anymore" sounds heartless.  I prefer the term "detached".      I know deep in your mothers heart you still care about your son.  You are learning to not let his poor choices drag you into the pit.  That is a very good thing indeed.      Congratulations... you are growing and in doing so, you allow your son to grow as well.

--------------------
Kelly
 

 Posts: 140 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jun 2004    |  Logged: 69.220.2.136 |   






 Mom and Dad of troubled son  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,6,28,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 06:28 AM                                  

Hang in there Lori.

I remember going thru various "stages" of detachment. The first was with anger, I felt betrayed, rejected etc, after all we had done to try and help our son. It's a defense mechanism. Thru meetings, reading and some soul searching I passed thru simply detached with no anger and eventually ended up detached with love, as in "I will always love my son, but I do not have to support or agree with his choices. I cannot control his actions nor will I worry about them"

There's a piece called "Helping" on the FA site that I found useful, I pinned it up on a wall until I had internalized it. You can find it here:
 http://www.familiesanonymous.org/helping.htm
 
 [ May 24, 2005, 06:29 AM: Message edited by: Mom and Dad of troubled son ]  

 Posts: 28 | From: CT | Registered: May 2003    |  Logged: 207.121.90.79 |   






 irol  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,6,31,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 06:31 AM                                  

Thanks Kelly, I like that word "detach." I will detach. You're right Karen, he's still 17. I need to figure out what the law says about my detachment. I know that if he's part of a crime, he's an adult. If he's the victim of a crime, he's a child. I think he's staying away from home because he's convinced I have escorts hiding in the bushes waiting for him.  

 Posts: 176 | From: Madison | Registered: Apr 2003    |  Logged: 144.92.212.32 |   






 irol  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,7,31,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 07:31 AM                                  

Thanks for the "helping." I do feel different about this detachment. I will read this many times and look forward to my own future.  

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 Rejected Mom  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,8,27,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 08:27 AM                             

When a child puts us through so much emotional turmoil it is natural and normal to reach a point where you must detach.  It is very difficult when that point comes before the child reaches legal responsibility.  I have had to deal with this Be aware that in some states if the child lives under your roof and you provide more than half of his support you can be held libale for his actions up to age 21.  This fact can make it very mucky for the parent emotionally.  You want to protect yourself especially if the child is driving or if he is quick to violence.  If this is the case, I strongly suggest talking to an attorney about how you can protect yourself and your assets.  One of the things I had to concider was filing with the juvinile services dept a "Minor in need of supervision" request.   The other things to concider are emancipation and residential programs etc.

--------------------
still hoping
 

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 katsmom  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,8,41,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 08:41 AM                                  

Irol, in one of your earlier posts you brought up the possibility of sending him back to his RTC. It might help with detaching if you know you did everything in your power to help him. That is why I am sending DD at 17 1/2 to TBS. That way I will have NO regrets later on and know I did everything I could to help her on the right path.  

 Posts: 109 | From: Los Angeles | Registered: Nov 2004    |  Logged: 207.200.116.199 |   






 Mom and Dad of troubled son  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,8,47,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 08:47 AM                                  

Regarding emancipation, we looked into that in CT. Below is what we learned.

It's usually used in the situation where a child can financially support themselves on their own, combined with other circumstances such as abusive parents and/or guardians

We were advised it would not be granted to a troubled teen with no job or making min wage simply because he/she wanted to be on their own, or because the parents/guardian no longer wanted to be legally responsible for the child's actions.

I'm sure each state has it's own "flavor"  

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 irol  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,12,29,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 12:29 PM                                  

Well, I haven't kicked my son out. He's opted not to come home. I found out where he is staying and it is a safe place. I'm guessing he thinks I'm going to send him away in the middle of the night. I'm going to let him continue where he is for now.

As for sending him away again. It is possible, but then I wonder why should everyone else in the family have to suffer. I'm still in serious debt from the $100,000 we spent on him during the past couple of years. This time we would have to sell the house and four of us would be moving into an apartment all so he could get his act together until he turns 18. And then, who knows what would happen. So I'm trying to justify why he gets all the resources and the kids who are doing well get none.

I'm going to take a back seat for awhile. I guess I was just looking for permission from someone so I could stop caring so much. sigh.  

 Posts: 176 | From: Madison | Registered: Apr 2003    |  Logged: 144.92.212.32 |   






 LisaB.  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,24,14,17,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 24, 2005 02:17 PM                                  

It's not that you don't care, you're just tired and hurt.

We put our oldest out at 17 for a few weeks.  There was too much out of control behavior and I had 2 other children watching.  Eventually we let him come back home until he was 18 and then out again.

I've had one lawyer tell us that we are responsible until 18 and another says who cares if we are or not.  I would dare a judge to put me in jail for doing what I thought was right for my family after everything I had tried and been through.  

Our middle is leaving on his own at 17 in a week or two.  When he finds that he wants to come back home he will find the doors locked and locks changed.  No way I'm letting slackers(no job or school for 5 months) and people with drugs ever coming back in.

We also chose not send our son away a second time after he came home to return to old ways.  At that point we felt we had done enough.  It is a very personal decision whether to try again.  You really have to weigh the pros and cons.  I'm sure some would feel to try at all costs.  But each person has their limits.

Sorry you are going through this.  I know how much it hurts.

Lisa          

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 Jena  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,26,22,34,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 26, 2005 10:34 PM                                  

Yeah, you do get to a point where you quit caring.  I sure did.  Don't worry, it's not permanent.

No need to feel guilty either.  He brought it on himself.  Even parents can only take so much.

Jena  

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 irol  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,27,5,4,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 27, 2005 05:04 AM                                  

Thanks Jena,

I did need to stop for awhile. I spoke with a local teen-help group and they understood what I was doing but suggested leaving a note or some type of message that could possibly open some dialogue. Yesterday he was home taking a shower, so I put a note on his bed that said we could still work this out if we wanted to. And if he ever really needed help, I would be there for him. Let me know when he wanted to talk.

He slept at home last night, but in a spare bed in the basement. This morning I caught him off guard and slowly started a conversation. That's all, but a step forward. (If I keep walking backwards, I'll have to turn my feet around.) Jena, I remember the days of chores on the farm you had with your daughter. I remember those small steps. How's she doing by the way?

Well everyone it is Friday. I know for a lot of parents with struggling teens, weekends can be worse than week days. But forgive yourselves for the weekend and let go. Do something fun and creative just for yourself. Peace.

Lori  

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 Edu  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,27,14,20,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 27, 2005 02:20 PM                                

I'm going to have to disagree with some of the previous posters.  First, I understand that you're in a tough spot, and there really is no simple solution.

You should never stop caring about your child.  There are going to be times he does things that frustrate, sadden, and even shock you, but that's what teenagers do best, and as a parent it's your responsibilty to be there for him.

I see many people suggesting sending kids away to treatment centers far away, many that use "tough love" tactics.  These options should be seen as a last resort.

I don't have an easy answer, but this isn't an easy problem.  Why not contact a therapist, not an educational consultant, and ask for their advice?  There are trained professionals out there that have much more sound advice that may be of great assistane to you.  Surely a threapy session is worth possibly brining your child home?

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-Matt
 

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 katsmom  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,27,15,14,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 27, 2005 03:14 PM                                  

Wow, I should have thought of taking my DD to a therapist before shipping her off. Gee thanks, that never occured to me!    

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 Antonstep  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,27,15,22,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 27, 2005 03:22 PM                                  

katsmom,

You are funny. Seriously though, when I read Matt's response, I could not stop laughing, either.  

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 KareninDallas  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,27,15,39,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 27, 2005 03:39 PM                                  

Could EDU be Joshua in disguise?  Notice Joshua has been absent for awhile.  
By the way, EDU, our kids have manipulated many a therapist before being sent off to programs!  

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 Momofboyz2x  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,27,15,56,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 27, 2005 03:56 PM                                  

That's exactly what I thought Karen.  It's just really easy to tell the ones that aren't parents.  

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 goldenguru  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,28,5,41,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 28, 2005 05:41 AM                                  

"Matt"~
Why don't you give us a brief history of dealing with your troubled child.  It is always helpful to know a little background... helps to understand your perspective a little better.  Thanks in advance.

--------------------
Kelly
 

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 Edu  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,28,19,1,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 28, 2005 07:01 PM                                

I didn't think my advice would be so unwelcome, but I understand being a bit skeptical to outsiders.  I apologize for suggesting something that didn't go with the flow, that didn't fit into the quick-fix scheme.  You can call the cops, have them arrested, send them off, and start the cycle of destruction that hasn't worked for countless others, or maybe you can take responsibility for your actions, your child's actions, and work on a viable solution that will benefit you both.  

First, I'm a High School educator and part-time medic.  Neither make me an expect on teenager psychology, but I do have a bit of experience.

A large amount of time working in EMS is spent doing psychological transfers, transporting patients from hospitals to psychiatric facilities.  As an educator I have training in teenager psychology, and education psychology.

I've had family members, like many others on this forum, have tremendous difficulty during their teenager years, and they've attended wilderness programs and boarding schools.  At the time they found the experience to be empowering and great, but years later feel horribly unable to cope with the realities of non-boarding school life.

On a personal level I support boarding schools as an option, but feel as though the general public sees them as a quick fix to often significant issues that cannot be adequately addressed in simply a boarding school, even with therapy.

I'm absolutely against places like "Tough Love" boarding schools that use excessive force to beat the child into submission.  That may ultimately produce a child that can temporarily function in reality, but one again I feel as though deeper therapeutic issues are usually ignored.

I'd rather see a parent spend that $60,000 on intensive therapy or inpatient therapy in a facility, than send their child away to a prison camp where untrained staff use force to coerce students into succeeding in their system, a system far different than reality.

I read some of these posts, parents disgusted that their children has OCD, though acting perfectly fine, and wanting to send their child away, or a parent at wits end when their child gets a piercing, a sole act of defiance, and I wonder what happened to parents caring?  Everyone is so ready to spend the money and send their children to a far away facility where their children will be in the hands of others, where they will supposedly learn to succeed, change their life and learn to love.  Doesn't that sound odd to anyone else?

After posting two posts I quickly realized that there is no simple solution, but am still amazed that parents are so willing to send their children away rather than work on their own relationships with them.  As an educator I laughed when I first found this forum, wondering how many of my students were at each of these facilities, as I read them aloud and the names sounded familiar.  While a small minority may needed such resources, I strongly feel that many of the students could have succeeded with parental, teacher, and community support.

That's about all I can think of right now, but I'd be more than willing to discuss my own personal sentiments via PM or in another thread, I don't want to hijack this thread.

Best of luck!

--------------------
-Matt
 

 Posts: 8 | From: Michigan | Registered: May 2005    |  Logged: 69.14.249.155 |   






 lmmom  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,28,20,20,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 28, 2005 08:20 PM                                  

Matt:  Welcome aboard.  I feel confident that the vast majority of posters to this board will agree with 90% of what you say.  What you may not realize is that most of the parents posting to this board have tried therapy (individual and family), parenting classes, intense cooperation with the school, biofeedback, medication and everything just shy of killing a chicken!  (That last part's a joke.)  

I want to emphasize that if my family's case is at all typical, I exhausted everything I could think of before even considering that I would have to send my child away.  I don't come from a background where boarding school is common - hey, my father was a milkman -  but I feel confident that even my milkman father would have agreed that for all the efforts that I and the very competant therapy team (Psychiatrist, psychologist and family therapist, largely not covered by my insurance) were putting forth, my son was getting worse.  Getting worse.  

I feel very strongly that there is a lot of weirdness, corporate and therapeutic, in the teen help industry.  That said, there is also a lot of competant, compassionate and effective therapy out there too.  Unfortunately, it is the former that gets a lot of media coverage, so that a lot of people hear 'wilderness therapy' and think 'boot camp'.  They are not even close.  If you want to get an idea of what wilderness therapy is, please get hold of Gary Ferguson's "Shouting at the Sky" for a fascinating account of how therapy and Mother Nature can combine to effectively help young people who couldn't be helped in their own communities.

One area where you and I differ is in our initial reactions to the postings on this board.  Maybe because I am a parent of a struggling teen, I didn't find anything funny in the pain of families torn apart by an out of control teen.  Maybe because I saw my own family in so many of the postings.  Please email me privately if you want to hear my family's story - I won't recap here.

Margie  

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 katsmom  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,28,21,42,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 28, 2005 09:42 PM                                  


quote:
Originally posted by Edu:
I strongly feel that many of the students could have succeeded with parental, teacher, and community support.
Matt, my DD had all of this support in spades and still returned to drug dealer boyfriend, drugs, promiscuous behavior, lying and manipulating. We have exhausted all options including short term drug rehab, individual and family therapy, intensive outpatient program, mentoring, 12 step programs etc. It is only after extensive research into different programs that we chose where we are sending her after she completes wilderness, where she is thriving for the first time in a long time BTW. She acknowledges that she needs help and is actually looking forward to going to her emotional growth boarding school. She got on a plane by herself to go to wilderness.  We have visited the program she will be attending and although it is strict and structured there is a lot of love there and the kids are getting a good education and seem proud of their accomplishments. I think all of the parents posting here want to educate themselves about the good programs that are available for our children and to weed out the bad. I love my child more than anything and take exception to the fact that you are questioning my judgement as a parent.  Your posts don't bother me that much because I have educated myself about this process however I worry about how your posts come across to the new parents who are checking out this site for help. They may be scared away from seeking help for their child and that would be tragic IMO.  

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 goldenguru  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,29,11,55,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 29, 2005 11:55 AM                                  

Matt~
Thank you for your response.  

   
quote:
 Surely a therapy session is worth possibly brining your child home?
 
I guess this comment is what made my hair stand up.  If you take the time to read many of our stories, you will understand that we have all exhausted every conventional (and some unconventional) avenues available to us.  My daughter has been drug from therapist to therapist for 6 years.  We have done intensive inpatient, outpatient, psychiatric hospitals, youth group, mentoring, medical interventions, home schooled and so forth.

You will also find that this group of parents is very quick to suggest to new members to exhaust every community resource available before even considering placement.

Placing my daughter was a last ditch effort to save her life.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  Ever.  I cried for 6 months.  It sucked the life out of me.  It was a suffocating experience.  Lest you think we place these kids because it is easier on us as parents, you are very mistaken.

Your comment was hurtful because you represent an attitude that we encounter much too often.  Sometimes from family, sometimes from friends, sometimes from our own troubled children.  Get to know us.  Read about our pain in placing our precious children.  And after you do that you will understand that we are doing the truly loving, caring and responsible thing for our children.
 
 [ May 29, 2005, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: goldenguru ]

--------------------
Kelly
 

 Posts: 140 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jun 2004    |  Logged: 69.220.2.136 |   






 Parents for Residential Reform  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,30,11,55,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 30, 2005 11:55 AM                                  

I agree with Kelly but also know that many teachers and others are caring as well.  I am more disturbed by the folks that SELL their services as Ed Consultants and know our children, our "troubled or struggling teens" but nothing about Mental Health Issues, Special Education (or how to follow through and get a school district to pay for the services needed) and care about only certian programs.  Parents are a great resource to each other - without other parents in similar situations as myself when my daughter was in a Residential School I don't know what I would have done.

--------------------
PFRR
 

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 HappyTeacher  
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document.writeln(timestamp(new Date(2005,4,31,7,55,0), dfrm, tfrm, 0, 0, 0, 0));May 31, 2005 07:55 AM                                     

Matt,

Welcome to the forum. Something in your post caught my eye, and leads me to believe you are unaware of the way programs work:

"After posting two posts I quickly realized that there is no simple solution, but am still amazed that parents are so willing to send their children away rather than work on their own relationships with them."

Sending a child away and working on the relationship are not mutually exclusive. In fact, one is supportive of the other. For most of us, the relationship has become so destructive to us and our other family members that the first step is to STOP. Then while the child is starting the process of ridding her (in our case, a daughter) body of drugs and toxins, the family starts working on ways to discontinue behaviors that just don't work, and learn new ones.

It isn't by any means an either-or situation. Sending our kids to a safe place and getting help from experts is an expression of love, not abdication. My daughter initially looked at it as being sent away, something you might associate with banishment. I was, in fact, sending her TO something: a place of safety and empowerment. She came to understand that, even though she didn't like being gone from home. Thanks for listening.  

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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2005, 10:03:00 AM »
These people are hopeless. They cannot be reasoned with, because they have stopped thinking reasonably a long time ago. They have stopped thinking about their children as *children* who need love and support, and think of them only as blood sucking, emotionally draining, destructive parasites.

I feel for the children. The parents should be put in prison. Or, rather, they should be kidnapped in the middle of the night and sent to a gulag, and then be told exactly what they are tellng their own children: "this is for your own good! I am not abandoning you, I am helping you! I am sending you to live with strangers because I want to rebuild our relationship!"  :roll:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2005, 12:07:00 PM »
That's maybe too harsh.

It *is* possible, for children or adults, to self-destruct in very real and serious ways.

There are no safeguards in the system to protect against situations where the parents are flaky and the kid is basically sane.  I object strongly to that.

There are few to no safeguards in the system to protect against situations where the *facility* is flaky or abusive.  I object strongly to that.

But there are real cases where the parents have "tried everything" and their kid just has enough "issues" that the kid is still self-destructing.

What's true of some kids is true across the age-spectrum for *people* generally.

I have a cousin who is on full disability for mental illness.  She is medication compliant, and attends therapy.  With the very best the doctors can do for her, she *still* has to sleep on the couch every night with the TV on to drown out the voices of dead people telling her to hurt herself.  Her grown daughter and her mother do a lot to help take care of her.  When she feels like she's going too far over the edge (yes, daily life, however difficult, doesn't count), she checks herself into the hospital and they call her mom.  She's a cutter.

She's a real trooper for *coping* with that level of disability.  She's a real trooper for not having just curled up and died.  Her life is *hard*, and I admire her for sticking around and facing it anyway.  The extent to which she is self-destructive is not her fault, and occasionally requires yet another hospitalization.

Added to that, she has had to deal with the occasional tragedy where a member of her therapy group just isn't able to go on any more and doesn't make it.  The one she told me about not too long ago was just eighteen.

It's not right to lump all the parents together.

Some of them really have tried everything other than residential treatment, and really do check the residential facilities out and choose ones that *don't* turn up on Fornits over and over again in the postings of damaged survivors.

Despite all the parents whose kids *shouldn't* be in a facility and are, despite all the parents who have somehow been suckered into putting their kid in a bad facility, there are some kids who need residential care and whose parents place them in *good* residential care.

The percentage of teens who really need and are in residential care is probably about the same as the percentage of adults.

The only difference would be that since a lot of these problems have their first onset in the teen years, you have a certain percentage of teens who *will* be stabilized and able to live decent lives outside a facility who are so very sick that they have to be inpatient while the doctors go through the trial and error of finding an effective med combination for that patient.

Mostly, the percentage of teens who genuinely need to be in residential care is about the same as the percentage of twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings that do.

Don't weaken your argument by exaggerating.

The "troubled teen" industry needs a hell of a lot of reform.

We won't get it by pretending that there are *no* people who genuinely need residential care.

One of the first essentials to crafting a strong and persuasive argument is to analyze your opponents' arguments for virtues and concede them, such as they are, before stating your own points.

"While it is true that some people, teenage and older, genuinely need residential care, the system is in dire need of reform because:"

Timoclea
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Offline GregFL

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2005, 06:40:00 PM »
Nazi Moms!


what a bunch of fucking mo...diddly..rons.
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Offline Cayo Hueso

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2005, 09:32:00 PM »
Oh this is insane.  Shit, half the crap my kids pulled as teens (I'm almost out of it) scared the living SHIT out of me and made my life hell for a while.  Guess what??  It comes with the fucking territory!!!  Raise your own fucking kids goddamnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It amazes me when I really look at my kids and what they've been through and learned over the last 4 years or so.  They are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO far beyond where I was at 30, let alone as an early adult.  Quit freaking out and try and help them find their own path, it may not be the one you would have chosen but they did...help them make the best of it.

All thinking men are atheists.
--Ernest Hemingway, American author

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
t. Pete Straight
early 80s

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2007, 04:37:18 PM »
:o
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Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2007, 04:54:13 PM »
I think these parents could benefit from another parent's account of her difficulties in "surviving her teen". They may find themselves purely inspired.  Personally, I felt an almost immediate need to throw up.

I mean, come on!  SURVIVING YOUR TEEN?

These parents would last about one day in program that is all about SURVIVING physical, mental and emotional abuse.

Grow up Parents.  Stop outsourcing your job as a PARENT to a bunch of looney tunes that call themselves "teen helpers" or "change agents".

Your child needs a parent.  Not a whiney, self-centered grownup that has the emotional intelligence of a ... GASP ... Child?

 :flame:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2007, 05:38:07 PM »
Karen-in-Dallas is now posting as CHARLY and is the moderator on PSY's new forum.  What a piece of work!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2007, 06:13:40 PM »
Any the point of digging up a 2 year old thread is?????
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2007, 07:34:18 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Any the point of digging up a 2 year old thread is?????


Just for you, don't you feel special??  :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline psy

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2007, 08:31:33 PM »
isn't this kind of like kicking a dead horse...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2007, 08:32:59 PM »
Quote from: ""psy""
isn't this kind of like kicking a dead horse...


That should be fornits new slogan.
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Offline Anonymous

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2007, 10:13:35 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Quote from: ""psy""
isn't this kind of like kicking a dead horse...

That should be fornits new slogan.

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline hanzomon4

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2007, 10:16:40 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Karen-in-Dallas is now posting as CHARLY and is the moderator on PSY's new forum.  What a piece of work!


A this means what? I... nevermind *puts rant quietly to sleep*
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
i]Do something real, however, small. And don\'t-- don\'t diss the political things, but understand their limitations - Grace Lee Boggs[/i]
I do see the present and the future of our children as very dark. But I trust the people\'s capacity for reflection, rage, and rebellion - Oscar Olivera

Howto]

Offline TheWho

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"Can I stop caring?" Another good one from Struggling Teens.
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2007, 10:27:25 PM »
why doesnt fornits take a new and fresh direction and try to help out the kids, instead of beating a dead horse err, beating up on programs.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »