Sucess stories from Struggling Teens.com

[Anonymous]

Shows how much you know.  My kid is still here, with me, very much.  Completely shows your mentality, which is none!!!!.  Put your beer down and realize, this is what life is about.  Maybe a few years back, it was simple, but the new generation, has changed.   It is a lot different, and a lot more difficult.  Realize this.........  It's a new world!!!!!!!!  Life is different and unless you are living it, with a child in need, you need not say anything about it.
On a last note, cause i will not waste my time or breath on this site anymore........  Make sure your pants stay up, wether you are a guy or a girl!  Please!!!!  We don't need clones like yourselve's running around in this world!!!!

[Anonymous]

On 2005-06-15 19:58:00, webcrawler wrote:




I am very uncomfortable with kids being sent away against their will and the tactics used to break the kids down and rebuild them. Yes, I find it very hard to trust ANY place that does this because of my own experiences. I would also hope that you are not one of those parents that embraces the tough love mentality. How a parent can do that stuff to their kids is heartbreaking.

Actually, my child recognized his own need for intensive therapeutic intervention.  At his request we tried inpatient/outpatient therapy locally and even a adolescent psychiatric facility following a suicide attempt.  You know their philosophy.  Slap a mental illness diagnosis on all kids, medicate them into submission and send them home.  Garbage!!  Garbage!!  Garbage!!

The programs did not "feel right" to him or us, and we allowed him to exit.  Oh we were criticized by those who adhere to a tough love philosophy.  We were accused of "rescuing" him and "enabling" him.  All of the rhetoric was slung at us.  But we could sleep at night... because we were (we felt) empowering him to be a part of his own recovery.

Finally we found his current placement and after 3 months he made it clear that he was comfortable enough to begin to dissect what was at the root of his problems.  

Do I support what you do on this board!  You bet!  Am I trying to understand the other side of these facilities!  You bet!  I find myself being drawn into advocacy for troubled kids.  I just want to learn how to help parents better help their kids.  I live in a well to do community where warehousing our kids is becoming more and more prevalent and acceptable.  And I don't necessarily mean once they hit puberty... even from the cradle when they are placed in "kiddie kennels".  And yet what do you say to the single mom/dad who has to work 40/50 hours a week to pay the rent?  Or to the traditional couple who requires to incomes to live?  I don't have the answers.  I just have lots of questions and a passion to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-06-15 19:58:00, webcrawler wrote:




I am very uncomfortable with kids being sent away against their will and the tactics used to break the kids down and rebuild them. Yes, I find it very hard to trust ANY place that does this because of my own experiences. I would also hope that you are not one of those parents that embraces the tough love mentality. How a parent can do that stuff to their kids is heartbreaking.

I certainly understand your discomfort with sending a child away.  If you would have told me 3 years ago that this is the course I would take to help my child, I would have called you insane.  But I never forsaw the severity of his situation either (although we had hints).  And I hope that you never, ever, ever have to make a placement.  Contrary to what some believe we did not do this because it was easier for us.  I honestly thought I would require hospitalization the first few months.  ::mecry::  ::mecry::  It is a painful journey for some parents too.  Not all.  Some find relief.  Some have wrong motives.  But my motive was to get him over the hump so he could return to our family and continue on in his life..... ASAP.


Actually, my child recognized his own need for intensive therapeutic intervention.  At his request we tried inpatient/outpatient therapy locally and even a adolescent psychiatric facility following a suicide attempt.  You know their philosophy.  Slap a mental illness diagnosis on all kids, medicate them into submission and send them home.  Garbage!!  Garbage!!  Garbage!!

The programs did not "feel right" to him or us, and we allowed him to exit.  Oh we were criticized by those who adhere to a tough love philosophy.  We were accused of "rescuing" him and "enabling" him.  All of the rhetoric was slung at us.  But we could sleep at night... because we were (we felt) empowering him to be a part of his own recovery.

Finally we found his current placement and after 3 months he made it clear that he was comfortable enough to begin to dissect what was at the root of his problems.  

Do I support what you do on this board!  You bet!  Am I trying to understand the other side of these facilities!  You bet!  I find myself being drawn into advocacy for troubled kids.  I just want to learn how to help parents better help their kids.  I live in a well to do community where warehousing our kids is becoming more and more prevalent and acceptable.  And I don't necessarily mean once they hit puberty... even from the cradle when they are placed in "kiddie kennels".  And yet what do you say to the single mom/dad who has to work 40/50 hours a week to pay the rent?  Or to the traditional couple who requires two incomes to live?  I don't have the answers.  I just have lots of questions and a passion to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-06-15 19:58:00, webcrawler wrote:




I am very uncomfortable with kids being sent away against their will and the tactics used to break the kids down and rebuild them. Yes, I find it very hard to trust ANY place that does this because of my own experiences. I would also hope that you are not one of those parents that embraces the tough love mentality. How a parent can do that stuff to their kids is heartbreaking.

I certainly understand your discomfort with sending a child away.  If you would have told me 3 years ago that this is the course I would take to help my child, I would have called you insane.  But I never forsaw the severity of his situation either (although we had hints).  And I hope that you never, ever, ever have to make a placement.  Contrary to what some believe we did not do this because it was easier for us.  I honestly thought I would require hospitalization the first few months.  ::mecry::  ::mecry::  It is a painful journey for some parents too.  Not all.  Some find relief.  Some have wrong motives.  But my motive was to get him over the hump so he could return to our family and continue on in his life..... ASAP.


Actually, my child recognized his own need for intensive therapeutic intervention.  At his request we tried inpatient/outpatient therapy locally and even a adolescent psychiatric facility following a suicide attempt.  You know their philosophy.  Slap a mental illness diagnosis on all kids, medicate them into submission and send them home.  Garbage!!  Garbage!!  Garbage!!

The programs did not "feel right" to him or us, and we allowed him to exit.  Oh we were criticized by those who adhere to a tough love philosophy.  We were accused of "rescuing" him and "enabling" him.  All of the rhetoric was slung at us.  But we could sleep at night... because we were (we felt) empowering him to be a part of his own recovery.

Finally we found his current placement and after 3 months he made it clear that he was comfortable enough to begin to dissect what was at the root of his problems.  

Do I support what you do on this board!  You bet!  Am I trying to understand the other side of these facilities!  You bet!  I find myself being drawn into advocacy for troubled kids.  I just want to learn how to help parents better help their kids.  I live in a well to do community where warehousing our kids is becoming more and more prevalent and acceptable.  And I don't necessarily mean once they hit puberty... even from the cradle when they are placed in "kiddie kennels".  And yet what do you say to the single mom/dad who has to work 40/50 hours a week to pay the rent?  Or to the traditional couple who requires two incomes to live?  I don't have the answers.  I just have lots of questions and a passion to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Sorry... posted that twice... not sure what happened

[69]

Actually, my child recognized his own need for intensive therapeutic intervention. At his request we tried inpatient/outpatient therapy locally and even a adolescent psychiatric facility following a suicide attempt. You know their philosophy. Slap a mental illness diagnosis on all kids, medicate them into submission and send them home. Garbage!! Garbage!! Garbage!!

Even though psychiatric hospitals are a little heavy on the meds at times, they are MUCH more helpful than the majority of programs out there. I can tell you this much from personal experience. Replace 'medication' with 'beatings' or 'coercion' and you could be talking about programs instead of hospitals. If my child were suicidal, the last place I'd want them is in a program, I'd much rather have them in a hospital. This is from my own experience.

[webcrawler]

Thanks for the reply anon parent. It's nice to see one on here not throwing insults and summing us all up to a bunch of angry people that need to move on.  :wink:

I too am disturbed where our society is heading w/ our children. I am one of those single parents that had to utilize daycares. I HATE that I ever had to do it, but there was no other options. It's the fact that someone else, not me, had the opportunity to mold my children. Unfortunately I can't say they passed on all good attributes and were model providers. I've had to remove my kids from a few places.

One mistake my parents made was to not defend me or believe me when I was being harmed. If my kids tell me something I believe them. I'm hearing that you are concerned for your child and listen to him. I hope that things work for him and if they don't I hope you will remove him from that facilty should you learn of bad things.

Best wishes for your family.

[Anonymous]

Truly voluntary treatment, where the kid can leave if the treatment is not what he thought it was going to be, is a whole 'nother ball of wax from involuntary treatment.

Freedom means allowing other people to do things you don't like.

If this kid truly wants to be where he is, and truly could say, "Mom, come get me," without Mom buying into the crap about, "Oh, he's manipulating you," then this is perfectly fine.

I don't think it's what I would have wanted when I was a teen, but I'm not this kid and he has a right to try the treatment he thinks will help him and to seek to better himself in his own way.

Voluntary, with the option to leave, makes all the difference in the world.

Mom, I salute you for being willing to change your kid's facility (or bring him home) when he asked, and for only putting him in one at *his* request.

It's okay for rock stars to check themselves into Betty Ford, and it's okay for this kid to check himself into the facility of his choice if he decides he needs one and his parents agree.

If all parents were as sane as you, we wouldn't need to be here.

Timoclea

[Anonymous]

How many of these program parents were sold on shipping their kid off by some ed con or gasp, another parent?

Be honest!

[Antigen]

On 2005-06-16 10:17:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Truly voluntary treatment, where the kid can leave if the treatment is not what he thought it was going to be, is a whole 'nother ball of wax from involuntary treatment.

Tim, I think that's the single most important issue in this whole debate. In the real world, medical and psyche professionals are not supposed to do anything w/o fully informed consent (except in extreme cases of immediate life threatening emergency)

Now, minors can't give legal consent. They need a parent or guardian to sign off on most things. But it's that parent or guardian's job to communicate w/ the kid and make sure they understand what they're agreeing to.

The big problem w/ the troubled parent industry as it exists today is that the treatment model of choice is one that depends on NOT getting informed consent!

Check out this guy,

Exit Plan:
The main thing is not to reveal information about yourself, especially not emotional secrets which they will use against you at seminars. I've seen people break down under the pressure many times in seminars. You know how it goes...

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... =80#110379

Yeah, I know how it goes. And that's just exactly how I got through it. Throw the angry mob a bone, give them what they think they want, but for Christ's sake, don't ever give them anything important or true!

The TC model depends on inductees not knowing how it works. If you don't see it coming, or at least have good communication w/ your own gut instincts and sense what's going on, you generally fall for the slight of mind and spill your guts. Then you're screwed.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for a reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
--Albert Einstein, German-born American physicist

[Verbal Razors]

People that put their kids in programs ..shouldnt be surprised when their child snaps..
 I know of serveral program kids that murdered their folks...one with a baseball bat.

[Anonymous]

The common denominator with almost all the troubled teens is they are raised in a broken family. I hate to say it but most of them are raised by there mother. If you check in the prison system, you will find the same thing. Also, the families I have found who have problems are very sucessful in there careers and very poor at raising children. Leads me to think that they put more effort into themselves than there family. How else could they afford to send them to one of these places. To the yuppy parents, It's just another expense. Like a new car, or a boat. Hey, and something to impress there friends at the countryclub that there kid is now in a "private school"

[Anonymous]

petition

please sign!

bill to end institutionalized child abuse

http://www.petitiononline.com/hr1738/petition.html

[Anonymous]

On 2005-06-16 22:38:00, Anonymous wrote:

"The common denominator with almost all the troubled teens is they are raised in a broken family. I hate to say it but most of them are raised by there mother. If you check in the prison system, you will find the same thing. Also, the families I have found who have problems are very sucessful in there careers and very poor at raising children. Leads me to think that they put more effort into themselves than there family. How else could they afford to send them to one of these places. To the yuppy parents, It's just another expense. Like a new car, or a boat. Hey, and something to impress there friends at the countryclub that there kid is now in a "private school"  "

Couldn't agree more!

[OverLordd]

I just pinged the struggeling teens board, and here is what I found out.

Apprently this is a board for people who agree with each other only, we cannot troll them as they troll us apprently, because they are seemingly in a emotionally fragle state. ( Hell I would be to if I decided to hurt my kid) They require log ins, and registration, I would register and blast them, if I was sure that they wold not pull it down, lock me out, and most likely call my parents (hehe, They got my back enough, I dont need to bother them with somthing else) These people are terrable, they dont alow another view, and they don't let others speak. What should be done about this.