no way did we have a crisis phone
the only contact with any sort of phone was in family therapy, the therapist called your family, and hung up if you said anything about abuse
family therapy was a very rare occurance really, it took four months at least for me to have family therapy only by phone of course, and it was in a little room under the admissions unit. after that i had family therapy less then once a month, quite a lot less then once a month.
they take away family therapy a lot as a consequence for not working your program.
we were not allowed any contact with the outside world other then that at all, girls asked .
My family is being really bad, i'm scared, my father hit me and said he is not giving me any money to move out. My mother threatened to call the police four times because we were fighting. she always jumps right into the middle of everything and takes it to a whole new level. I didn't start any of it, my dad started in on me because he doesn't really want to give me the money he said he would. Its really horrible here. I theatened to call the police because my father hit me but they said they would kick me out and i would have no money for college and no where to live, he was still pushing me and foaming at the mouth. dad again told me four times to join the army and that he was going to take my dog to pound. they are so horrible, why tell me they are going to give me money to move out then beat me up about it and take it back. I didn't bring the money thing up today, i was avoiding the subject, it seemed better to bring it up when i thought they might actually do it. At first it was we will give you 10000 to help you out while you work and finish school. I was so happy when they told me a couple weeks ago. I said ok please put the money in my account, because I know them, they have done this before and i never see any money, they just hold it over my head and decide not to. They did the same thing last year. They said no we are still deciding, so i knew it was bullshit. Then they came back with drop out of school and work full time and we will give you the money, of course no money for school then, then it was no money at all. They keep calling meetings about it, i of course get no say in any of it, they just sit me down and discuss what they are deciding for me. I can't talk about what i think either. It was really ugly i just feel horrible, its so abusive. The worst part is its exam week so i have a bunch of projects to do and final exams. I just came downstairs to get lunch. My mother always stands right in your face and yells. Like two inches from your face, its horrible. i feel like i've been hit by a truck and i'm terrified, its so abusive, they got really mad because i said this place is an abusive situation for me and I am an adult and i really want help beng independent, this was after my dad said today no money at all. They were already mad before for some reason, my father was in an evil mood about money and I came down for lunch. They are such abusive people, abusive people are just nuts they take everything to this horrible level, one seconds your getting lunch next second someones beating up on you and kicking you out and your being threatened with being locked in a little cell and abused, they call me a 14 year old tramp a lot too, only in less nice words. Then when i say this is abusive your horrible people, thats appropriate behavior if you were stalin or hitler or start hyperventilating and sobbing they threaten to call the cops because my mother wont have such fighting in her house, as she stands two inches from my face and calls me 14 year old tramp. I wasn't in anyones face, i just talk you know, sometimes i yell, i try to keep personal space between us, i don't like them near me. If you say something that makes my mom mad she gets really in your face and she likes to grab the phone and go stop talking or I'm calling them. She has a really violent temper, normal people talk and yell or something, my mother goes for the jugular if you annoy her and sometimes when she's just in an annoyed mood. She picks fights when she's in a bad mood and her fights are like the eighth court of hell. It's horrible because you never know when you come downstairs to eat what you get. I don't start beating up on people. They do it during exam week always, i think they want me to fail because they think i'll get a full time job then or join the army hah hah, and they want to prove they are right and i am a horrible failure. They go on for hours, i'd rather live with an alcoholic. They are such Nazis. I just don't want them to have power over me any more. I just don't think they can let me go, abusive people never want to let you go. Its too much fun for my mother to have all the power and push and push and push. She stands really close to me all the time, its weird, normal people don't stand on top of you. She could not be anymore up my but. You can't actually talk to her, she interupts you and goes back to giving nasty orders and she has a hair trigger for anything, she gives a lot of orders too its about all she does talking wise. I've realized though that if they are that bad they are more then capable of doing all sorts of horrible things to me. They are my parents, I sort of have a hard time not trying to appeal to a sense of rational kindness or something. It doesn't work, they really are nazis, they said all this stuf today, you know when you have a horrible feeling you know how bad it is really but every one smooths over it and you want to think its better. Its not better, if you think someones mind works like an irrational, selfish, nasty, abusive box of squirmy insects, what you are trying to tell yourself isn't there really is. i think I have to look at it like that, like i do live under really abusive horrible people who are more then capable of doing all sorts of terrible things. I try to live like they are ok people somewhere and reason might work on them and such. I need to just look at it like bob pegler is my dad and my mother is pv staff. They really are that bad. I'm not a mind reader and i am pretty stuck here, also i've always lived with these people, or with people like them. The mercedes cost them 80,000.00, i said something about spending 50,000 dollars on a car and my mother said it cost us 80,000 are you jealose. Isn't that horrible? I have to say i really feel nothing but disgust towards them, they don't act like good people at all, to say the least. i bet i can get some money from them, i have to move out, i need to find a better paying job where i don't have to stand all day and work on the cash register for 7 dollars an hour. I don't want anything to do with these people any more. They are horrible and really dangerous. I have a headache and i have so much work to do.
