Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - nuiloa

Pages: [1] 2
1
The Troubled Teen Industry / Anthropological book written on behavior mod
« on: March 22, 2006, 09:33:00 PM »
Please, tell your stories as well.  You can email me if you feel more comfortable at thewondrousday@yahoo.com.  I would really like input from others who have lived this way.  I think it would legitimize the book even more than my own story (particularly after Million Little Pieces just came out).

-nuiloa

2
The Troubled Teen Industry / Anthropological book written on behavior mod
« on: March 16, 2006, 01:15:00 PM »
Thanks.  And thanks for posting the direct link; I know that site is a little difficult to get around.

I hope to hear from others who can share their stories, too.

-nuiloa

3
The Troubled Teen Industry / Anthropological book written on behavior mod
« on: March 15, 2006, 05:00:00 PM »
Aloha everyone,

I'm not sure if you remember me, but I was planning on writing a book (which I am now doing) about surviving Northwood Children's Home and other places. I'm doing it as a project for my anthropology class, because I needed a deadline or something that would help me face what happened. I needed to write three different sections, and I feel that the third one should be called 'Other Voices'. I don't want it to seem like I'm the only one who lived through it. So I thought I'd ask if anyone would be interested in including their story in my book. So far, I've only sent a query to Inner Ocean Publishing, which is very political and located in Hawai'i (where the only juvenile prison is now under attack for abuse in Honolulu), so I hope they will show some interest in it.

Please write back and let me know. I'm not a con or anything (I've seen suspicions on this board before when someone says they want to write a book), but hopefully those of you who read my previous posts know I'm for real. I know how difficult it is to share these stories with close friends, let alone a total stranger. However, I think it will give more weight to the story, so I don't look like one lone, insane person writing about the horrors of these places. I am particularly interested in people whose experiences were more recent than mine, because I also don't want people to assume that these abuses are long dead in the past.

If you want to know that I'm a writer and I'm not making this up, go to http://www.simply40.com, under the women's folio, and click on 'no prom dress'. You might have to click through a few articles, but every article aside from the first one is my writing.

I hope to hear from all of you soon. Let's put an end to this.

-nuiloa

4
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 24, 2005, 01:00:00 AM »
Thanks so much; that was exactly what I was looking for.  I appreciate it.

-nuiloa

5
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 22, 2005, 11:14:00 AM »
Hey everyone-

A while back I found an article on the Web about a guy who worked as an abductor for a gulag school and he was a convicted child molester.  I wrote an article referring to him but I can't find the original anywhere.  Can anyone help?

-nuiloa

6
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 21, 2005, 02:02:00 PM »
In a way, that assumption is scary, because all the staff at the homes I lived in could get off scot-free if they used their own abuse as an excuse.  Scary.

I prefer to inherit the traits of my ancestors, the Scots- fight for freedom or die trying.  :smile:

-nuiloa

7
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 19, 2005, 12:44:00 PM »
Well, frankly, I've always doubted it.  I've just heard it a lot (about the abused becoming abusive).  However, I was abused, and I can see abusive tendencies within myself, if given the right situation.  So I'm not entirely sure what that means.

-nuiloa

8
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 18, 2005, 08:38:00 PM »
That's true; as much as I disliked the Internet to start out with, it's given us a tool in which to expose these places.  My mother occasionally has admitted that she finds Northwood 'suspect'.  

You're from Kailua?  I guess that gives you more proximity than me; I'm on the Big Island.  I just got an email back from Cecelia Fong swearing that she was going to do something about it.  We'll see.  Isn't it interesting how Hawai'i really is as compared to what people think of it?

My parents weren't uberreligious; my dad can't have kids and my mom wanted one.  I don't know what it means, that there are a lot of adoptive kids in these places.  My younger sister was also adopted, and she never did anything wrong, and never wound up in a home.  So I don't think it's necessarily involving adoption at all.  When kids don't become what parents want, they have the option to get rid of them...just like taking a dog to the pound.

-nuiloa

9
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 16, 2005, 02:46:00 PM »
I will never have children, but that's good advice for those who do.  Part of the problem is that authority is easily abused, especially by those who have been abused themselves.  Personally I have a tremendous dislike of children, which doesn't make me exactly popular, but I'm not going to have them just to appear normal to others.  However, people who are planning to have children do have it in their power to be better parents than they had themselves.

-nuiloa

10
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 15, 2005, 09:21:00 PM »
I'm not sure I would've had a good time either way.  Neither sets of parents were that interested in me.  At least the ones who adopted me gave me love and a home for a while.  I think they really thought they were helping me, too.  That's the scariest part about it.  CS Lewis said the worst thing you can ever do to a person is something you think you're doing for their own good.

-nuiloa

11
The Troubled Teen Industry / Again, more on Northwood Children's Home/Services
« on: November 15, 2005, 01:03:00 PM »
One day in midwinter I missed the bus to school. I didn't have a hat or mittens, because we went from the home into the bus, bus into the school, and back again at the end of the day. The woman on staff that day, a particular enemy of everyone named Heather, told me she wasn't giving me a ride even though it was below zero (I can't remember how much). It took me forever to walk to school, and I was extremely late and very angry.

Less than a week later I came down with some kind of fever. It was so bad that I lost consciousness several times. This lasted for quite some time before my primary staff decided to take me to the emergency room, where they diagnosed me with bronchitis. I went back. I got worse and worse, even a temperature of 107. My roommate, during one of my lucid moments, I remember her saying, 'Are you OK? I'm really scared for you,' and giving me a card one of my friends on the 'outs' wrote to me. I was gone, all in all, for about a month. Finally, they took me back to the hospital and surprise! I had walking pneumonia and they misdiagnosed me. Eventually I started to get better on the medication prescribed at that time.

While I was still weak in bed but lucid, Heather came to see me. She said, 'I heard you were very sick.' I nodded, thinking she was going to apologize to me. She stared at me and said, 'Well, I guess that'll teach you to wear a mittens and hat next time' and swept out of the room.

Out of curiosity, are these things as bad as I think? I realize they aren't quite at the status of being a POW, but that's how it felt a lot of the time. I am writing all these things here, thinking out loud, because I've never really told them to anyone before, so this has sort of become my way of expressing my feelings about the place. Your feedback is definitely appreciated; I'm remembering a lot of things I had forgotten.

-nuiloa

12
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 15, 2005, 12:57:00 PM »
The same thing happened to me!  I also was adopted at 2 months, and my therapist kept telling me I had to work through 'adoption issues' (because of my anger).  Nobody wanted to admit that there might be some reason that I was angry BESIDES adoption, which was only a big deal when I was in my first group home- I kept having weird nightmares that my biological parents were going to kidnap me.  I have no idea why.  

Since then, I've contacted my parents, sort of.  I met my mother's stepfather, who informed me that everyone in the family- EVERYONE- is dying or is dead from muscular dystrophy.  My mother and father want nothing to do with me (my father apparently said it was because he's a 'prominent businessman and important member of the church' and if anyone knew the truth it would scandalize him.  I think 'member of the church' stands out the most in that comment!) So not only did I already have 2 crazy parents to begin with, I ALSO had 2 crazy parents adopt me.  Luckily for me, I'm the only one in the family without MD...but it took about a year and a half of me being absolutely convinced I was dying a horrible death (because I oddly have all the symptoms, but they're apparently unrelated) before I was able to afford the DNA test.

However, I didn't know any of that while I was in the home; I was fine with being adopted aside from that my parents always seemed to make me KNOW that I didn't really belong.  When I was 5, she told me if I didn't stop doing whatever it was I was doing, she'd send me back to the adoption agency.  Then she picked up the phone and started to dial.  That's when I knew we weren't 'family'.  That was also about the time she sent me to my first psychiatrist, who was foolish enough to think that children are stupid.  I knew exactly what she was trying to get me to do with the Little People she wanted me to play with, so I played with her mind a little bit.  People say it's because I was very precocious for a five-year-old child, but I don't think so.  Kids are smarter than people give them credit for.  

Sorry for the long, tangenting post.  My point is, I didn't mind that much that I was adopted except for a few instances.  Not until I wound up in the home.  An interesting thing to note: if the therapist, during family therapy, even INSINUATED that my parents might have something to do with the way I was acting, they'd walk out in a huff, and I wouldn't see them for a very long time.  Makes you wonder just how badly they wanted things to get better, doesn't it?

-nuiloa

13
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 15, 2005, 12:10:00 AM »
Hmm....I'm adopted too.  Wonder if there is anything to that?

Huh.  I just looked at the email I got about it again, and it doesn't actually give out a name.  It just says 'the youth correctional facility on O'ahu'.


-nuiloa

14
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 14, 2005, 07:09:00 PM »
Hi,

If you live in Hawai'i, you might have heard that there have been reports going around this week about abuse in a home on O'ahu.

No, I'm not Hawaiian, I'm white.  I love Hawaiian culture and the Hawaiian people, I'm for sovereignty, etc.  Yes, nuiloa means 'very much'.  Where are you from in Hawai'i, if you don't mind my asking?

I agree that it is the feeling of failure that's the worst; that it really isn't that you failed to change but your personality.  I've always had this nagging feeling from those days that there's something intrinsically *wrong* with me, and other people can see it, but I can't.  It's still hard to get over that feeling.

-nuiloa

15
The Troubled Teen Industry / ABDUCTIONS
« on: November 14, 2005, 01:40:00 PM »
That's so sad.  In a way, I'm glad that I'm not alone; in a way, I'm not.  I wish I was, because that would mean that no one else had to deal with all these things.

-nuiloa

Pages: [1] 2