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Messages - Binky

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1
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 07, 2006, 09:02:00 AM »
In the spirit of this discuusion regarding similair experiences to that of the Jews I have other examples I would like to share - being Jewish myself I believe adds a bit more credibility to these examples...

Other eerily similar events either equal to or greater than what happened to the Jews:

The Brocton Bombers - a team of 5 bowlers. They were asked to leave Olive Garden cuz they were too loud - yes! - they too were persecuted and driven out of an establishment - just like the Jews!

Freddy Lounds while playing with matches with a friend who looked German burned his finger - just like the Jews who were thrown into ovens!

Molly Graham who people thought looked Jewish was asked to work an extra half hour after 5:00 just like when the Jews were slaves in Egypt

Sidney Bloom who is Jewish had a co-worker enter his cube - the co-worker farted - it was  just like a suicide bomber killing Jews in Israel today!

These examples and the ones you've presented leave no doubt in my mind that we can all relate to the misery, hatred, despair and violence done and still being done today to the Jewish people.

 :wstupid:

~ binky
 
[ This Message was edited by: Binky on 2006-04-07 06:04 ]

2
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 06, 2006, 08:59:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-06 17:47:00, Squirrel wrote:

"By the way, tto whomever made the Nazi comparison thing, it shows a scary lack of knowkedge of history. Our time in Straight more resembles that of North Korean Insulates than any type of German Experiment. Many psychiatrists say Straight was conducted as an experiment mimicking the No. Ko. regime to test its effect on dissidents.



It's also impossible to relate to the Jewish cause if you're not Jewish. One could make the connections of the Aramaic language etc. but I don't think any christian can relate. If you are a christian you are the majority. Where is your Diaspora? Where is your rejection from the Western world? Where is your Holocaust? Where is your marginalization?



Leave the subject alone. It doesn't belong here.



Squirrel"


Squirrel -- you are amazing!!!

You are my new hero!

 :nworthy:

Could have used you pages ago - LOL! - got all mad - and wondered where is the voice of sanity and reason!

Again -- thank you!

~ binky[ This Message was edited by: Binky on 2006-04-06 18:00 ]

3
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 06, 2006, 08:41:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-06 11:55:00, Squirrel wrote:

"Maybe I'm way off, but Damon was the least we had to worry about in Straight. Jodi Mossoulini? Dean Mistretta? I could go on but the many others I think have since realized what they were sucked into, so I don't want to embarrass anyone who comes to realize they were a part of something horrible.



I remember Damon as fairly rational and mild compared to other staffers, or even rabid phasers who would gladly take their pound of flesh from your ass.



The Straight mind control technique does not become ineffective the day you turn eighteen, nor does it cease to work the day you make staff. Many, many people who went on staff were still under the influence.



There were many staffers who though they were helping in the tough love way. There were some who went overboard. You are within your rights to be angry at them if you choose.



I choose to question the Architects of this program, and not the peple they experimented on. Pissed off? Call Mel Sembler. Find Dean Mistretta. Track down Miller Newton.



Damon didn't invent these techniques, and like most other staffers, and phasers (me), we were rewarded for standing people up and blasting them for things like "druggie haircuts" (I still don't know what those are, but I want one now).



Thanks for posting Damon. It can't have been easy.



Love,



Squirrel



[ This Message was edited by: Squirrel on 2006-04-06 11:57 ]"


...I don't even know how to begin to thank you for this post --

Honestly - from the bottom of my heart - I've never heard it more perfectly put -- you're 100% right! - wow - really thank you!

AND - I love the line about the drugy haircut - LOL!

4
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / The Straight Jacket 1985-1987
« on: April 04, 2006, 07:31:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-04-03 18:52:00, Bobbykay wrote:

"Binky



Your remembered...everyday!!!





And it is BobbyKay check the 5-phase OBS book!!!



I think it was your entry...Oh Shit now I did it?I broke a rule...Start me over to day 1 then give me a smoke and a hot lady....



Smoke a BUTT!!!









Revelation indeed had no weight with me.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor

"


BobbyKay!!!

GREAT to hear from you!!!!

Not a day goes by I don't think of you! and all of it makes me smile -- even the lights being flicked on and off which started the whole thing!

Smoke a Butt! -- maaan - riiight after I try on this gold bracelet - LOL!

I miss you - glad you're back in contact with The Magistrate - Pond-Stick would love to have dinner with you guys some time - or just "skip rocks" -- 36 yrs old now - so my arm will hurt the next day.

~T-Bone

5
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 03, 2006, 09:02:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-04-03 02:26:00, stillahippie564 wrote:

"what?now i'm george bush?...lol....look at yourself dude! i was fired because,as you so eloquintly stated"a breath of freash air"....sylvia and dean didn't want that....lol...george bush?good lord dude,next thing you'll be saying is that i was responsible for the rising cost of gas too!funny how damon was such an asshole to me,watched whatever i did,

and claims to know nothing was up....thats a scary thought actually....because then he has NO reason at all for his actions except that he really was a nazi prick in straight!you know,i really wish there were some stoughton straight PHASERS out there that remember damon....not the "straight is great" or "straight helped me" croud that seem to be trying to flog me....dude,if i was a "breath of fresh air" then how or why would you hook up with someone who was a repressive jerk to ppl? damon may have made changes....but he has a lot of fessing up to do around here.....the walls were paper thin in straight!top secret shit didn't last long in there.....everyone knew something was up except me! i know that because i got blackballed by the seven step society too....when you were on your phases,didn't you wonder why i never came in to see how you all were doing? i didn't come in because i wasn't allowed to....i was threatened with arrest if i stepped foot on thier precious property! i didn't do anything wrong!tell me,how many ppl did you see get started over for trivial stuff and thought to yourself"my god this is bullshit"....?were you ever set back and thought the crime didn't fit the punishment?....well,in this case,the program that drilled it in my head for 28 1/2 months, that my "sobriety" depended on my "support group",

took my "support group" my friends,my jobs,my girlfriends,my freedoms,my family away from me!

they told my stupid mom that i was doing drugs...

{instant blackball from the family}....followed me around and scared my job{s},my friends and my girlfriends away.....{finacial and emotional losses}then told everyone that i was doing drugs

and i lost my "support groups"!.....nooooo,dean and sylvia weren't just happy with firing me,they had to ruin every aspect of my life.....and they had my roommates helping them....! shit,everyone else but me,knew i was fired for "suspicion of drug use" except me! i didn't know that till a year later....thanks to an ex staffer that got the axe too......now,in the last 3 months,i found out a whole bunch of stuff....the truth about why i was fired....why i was arrested,and who called the cops.........you know what? believe what you want man......lol.....hip

"


Take from this what you will...

There are three things that cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

I see nothing, but "clouds" here...and I hope some day your minds are clear and free from all this massive delusion, bitterness and anger...

Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly.

So I have hope for all of you.

~ binky

6
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 02, 2006, 03:46:00 PM »
Well that's funny because the same thing happened to me and to a whole lot of other people I know. You want to talk about a trashed life? Ok, I'll give you some.

By the time I got out of the Twilight Zone and went back home, every single soul I had ever known had somehow become convinced that I had been carrying on a secret dual existance as a hard drug addicted prostitute. I mean neighbors, old teachers, my dear old Cousin K. Everybody.

I had only one friend in the world who would rent me a room in her house. She had put her older son in the Seed because my mom insisted. And she put my friend, Steve, in Straight for the same reason. She finally pulled him after an open meeting where Nancy Gettinger implored the parents to start bringing in some rich kids. I'd love to know what more was behind that, but she always got very agitated and upset whenever I tried to ask.

That happened while I was somewhere between juvenile detention in Georgia awaiting extradition to Florida for the "crime" of being a runnaway. This after one failed abduction attempt each by each of my parents. My parents were completely turned against me.

But what else would anyone expect? What the hell did we all do to each other day in and day out? Same damned thing, really. Kid sits down and says "Addict? Me? No." and from there the borw beating never stops. Your life is scorched slowly while you miss everything that happens in the world, including family funerals and presidential assasination attempts. Only news we got to watch was a plane crash into the Potomic and The Deer Hunter, of all things.

I spent probably 3 or 4 of my last years before internment actively avoiding anyone affiliated w/ the Seed as much as possible. I was scared of them. They might think I had a bad attitude or was dressed to gamey or my eyes looked read and try to "help" me. I'd seen it happen so many times before. One brother was essentially excommunicated for not completing the Seed. It wrecked him. Of course it did! What do you expect when you dump a kid out into the world alone after cloistering them for so long and having severed all of their supports AND given them the "rehab" stigma?

Like I said waaaaay back at the beginning of this conversation. I don't believe hip because I like him. It's the other way around. What he describes has been SOP in this cult since the `70's. The alternate explanation is that, somehow, Dean kept you on staff even though you hated his guts and everything he did as a staffer and flat out refused to do things his way. How much sense does that make?


[ This Message was edited by: Eudora on 2006-04-02 18:49 ]

7
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 02, 2006, 02:21:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-02 09:09:00, Eudora wrote:

"Bink, I missed the part in this thread where anybody accused Matt of anything. What is it, exactly, that you want him to own up to? Did he wrong you somehow?



Quote

On 2006-04-02 08:01:00, Binky wrote:



How is Matt supposed to heal and get better if no one holds him responsible for anything




Oh, I see the dissconnect now. Sorry, I guess maybe I should add an item to the terms of use about how this isn't group and you/we actually are not now and never were anybody's therapist. Unless, of course, you've gone on to get an education, certification, license and all that. If that were the case, why then you'd know from your training how incredibly inappropriate it would be to try and conduct therapy in such a setting as this and w/o having established consent to treat.



The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women's emancipation.
--Elizabeth Cady-Stanton


"


Let me withdraw the How is Matt supposed to heal and get better if no one holds him responsible for anything remark -

You're right - that's none of my business and none of my concern - and this isn't the right forum for that at all.

I made a mistake and I acknowledge it - it's not that difficult to do

Nonetheless - the point still remains - that Matt is able to get away without taking any responsibility for anything he does - and yet I am called out for mentioning Matt's healing progress - and I take responsibility and answer for it - but - as usual - no one says "Gee Matt - calling Damon 'Eichman' might have been a little rough...might have been a little out of bounds"

Fact is Damon had absolutely nothing to do with Matt getting fired - so now Damon is held to a high standard of scrutiny because Matt falsley accuses him of something he had no hand in -

Where is Matt's appology to Damon?

Where is Matt owning up and saying I made a mistake and I'm sorry

Where is your (Eudora) comment to Matt calling him out for calling Damon a Nazi and making false accusations?

I just find it unfair and baffling...

 :???:

~ binky

8
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 02, 2006, 01:49:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-04-02 08:28:00, Frank Discussion wrote:

"You're still not makin' that much sense to me, pal. Sorry. "


Then you and I can go no further with this discussion -[ This Message was edited by: Binky on 2006-04-02 11:48 ]

9
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 02, 2006, 11:01:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-04-01 07:11:00, Frank Discussion wrote:

"
Quote
On 2006-04-01 05:16:00, Eudora wrote:


Quote


On 2006-03-31 17:56:00, Binky wrote:



People were watching you -- not in your control, but how you performed was in your control







Yeah, sure. In an alternate reality where the people watching are sane, objective and non sadistic. But we're talking about Straight, Inc here...

EXACTLY. What is all of this shit you keep slinging at hippie about "taking responsibility"? You've attempted to explain this pretzel logic a few times now but it still doesn't seem to wash..."


It's funny -- why is Hippie treated and protected like George W. Bush here?

Neither can admit mistakes they made and the people pointing out where they have made mistakes are attacked and painted as "Nazi's" or painted as un-Patriotic.

"What is all of this shit you keep slinging at hippie about "taking responsibility"? - that's the same W. Bush argument --

Matt keeps pointing to Damon here like Damon is Saddam Hussein and caused 9/11 -- you wanna talk Pretzel Logic? -- why is no one calling Matt out on that?

Where is Frank Discussion saying - good point - Matt's actually mistaken here

I'm sorry, but this is just crazy -- I wanted my previous post to be my final word on the subject, but I'm outraged at the hypocracy and biased view here -

This topic/string is like Fox News where the Prez can do no wrong - and Matt can do no wrong -

How is Matt supposed to heal and get better if no one holds him responsible for anything

I'm actually suprised that i haven't yet been labeled as staff or "one of Dean's Butt Boys" yet - that's Administrations way and that seems to be the way it's going here -

Before y'all get all defensive and pissed please take a look at what I'm saying - please listen to the merit of my points.

What's right is right and this is my last comment/post on this topic.

Again - I like Matt - I think back on him fondly and will always remember him in and as the same spirit of Bob Dylan -- something amazingly unique and the usher of change -- but truth is truth and right is right no matter who you are -

George W. can make mistakes and so can Matt -

As always - thanks for listening and thanks for letting me share my 2 cents - please consider the validity and merit of what I'm saying and forgive me as I will no longer entertain this topic - or anything more regarding Matt's past.

I really appreciate this forum and wish us all here the absolute very best life has to offer.

Talk to you soon -

~ binky

10
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: April 01, 2006, 08:41:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-31 22:04:00, stillahippie564 wrote:

"whatever you want to say....spin it anyway you want.i don't have much in the way of shame for my participation in straight.damon hasn't "owned up " to shit.there were no apoligies coming from him.....he just simply admits/brags about his involvement in straight...shit he even said he's still a prick.hardly humble about his actions in there dude...quit drinking the kool aid man....they were hardly like the 3 stooges or the marx brothers....adolf and co. fits exactly into thier actions...anyone who didn't fit into thier little club was nixed out!dean had a club like that in virginia too.....thats his M.O. ....john p. greg m. and i didn't fit that criteria,so we were nixed out. then some of the ppl who helped them were nixed out too,after they helped fuck us over.....a staffer named jean,jeene..? just to name one....i ran into her after my departure.i was in harvard square.....she's the one who told me why i was fired! you see,i was NEVER officially told why!....i had to find out a year later. then 3 months ago,i found out the real reason....paul told me!so fuck your "yatzee game" dude....your phases are over....lets all get real here......so far,the only one of you stoughton staffers i respect is paul....at least he had the balls to admit what happened to me and the others was a witch hunt and wrong! you're just justifying what damon did and wanting me to shut up.....i won't go away silently in the night.after paul told me to cool out on damon,he {damon}had to be a prick to me after i asked him to forgive me for jumping his shit....i had honest reasons to jump his shit,but thought i'd take the high road and apoligise....what do you guys do?"huddle up" when someone is calling you on bullshit you did in there and attack them with verbal insults and "intellect"? in anonymous paper bag form? he was one of dean's pet "henchmen".....anyone who's not drinking the kool aid would know this.you know,you all are still fooled by the program....i know,to some point,i was when i went up there.....after the witch hunt and the other stuff,i wasn't.....but by then it was way too late....."


You say:

"quit drinking the kool aid man..."

and

"lets all get real here"

I now realize you're incapable of getting real - you have moments of clarity and then go right back to the Jonestown mentality of they were all out to get me...they still are as soon as someone points out any of your resposibility -

You keep bringing up that people are trying to silence you -- which is so odd cuz no one is trying to silence you - you're creating these persecutory/Mesianic notions and making this board your very own Jonestown, Guyana - and you're the one prepparing, offering and drinking the Kool-Aid.

While i'm always open to debate and discussion I just don't see the point anymore -- I'm leaving Guyana before I wind up like Congressman Ryan.

 :wave:

11
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: March 31, 2006, 11:07:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-03-31 19:18:00, stillahippie564 wrote:

"People were watching you -- not in your control, but how you performed was in your control



ok.....how i performed was in my control.i didn't know why i was being scrutinised etc....i didn't do anything wrong....i definatly didn't deserve that shit dude.in the end it created a undeserving paranoia too...just like in group!

what i meant about under the circumstances,was after i was axed......if you knew what i know now,you'd understand.....but what ever....i've never purposly hurt anyone in my whole life...its just not my nature.....think what you want....anymore i really don't care....dean and sylvia were like hitler and eva brown....the rest were deans "henchmen"....damon played a big part in that! he even brags about it! "i was a prick" "thats why i was picked many times to run open meeting review"=...who was he? eichman?...for a jewish dude,

thats really something to brag about,isn't it? his ego is still very huge....lol.....i now see why i wasn't allowed to do many "raps"....never asked to work open meeting review or open meetings!......i see it now! i didn't buy into the harsh bullshit,didn't sit idlly by and participate in the confrontations,i questioned authority and they just couldn't have that around!

that simply didn't sit well with dean and sylvia and thier "henchmen".....ok....you got me there...

sorry that i called damon or any of your buddies on

the bullshit they pulled on my life or anyone elses lives.at least i don't have to live with what i did to so many ppl.ask any of my old newcomers,ppl that were on thier phases with me or ppl that i hung out with as a 7 stepper,and you'll hear nary a bad story of abuse and "campain smearing"....you're absolutly right.

i am responsible for my actions....i never participated in any of the kind bullshit they did.

i'm very PROUD of that!...thanks for pointing that out to me.....hippie{oh,by the way,i earned my nickname.where i live everyone has one.i live way out in the country.....the ppl here gave me my nickname because of the KIND OF PERSON I AM!!!!} ::rainbow::  ::cheers::  ::troll:: "


I gotta say Damon was no Eichman - LOL! - truth be told - Damon's really a great guy - one of the best people I've ever met -- but that's a funny Nazi heirarchy there - I don't think Dean, Sylvia and the crew are really on par with Adolf and the boyz - maybe Groucho, Harpo & Zeppo -- or Moe, Larry and Joe (not Curly or Shemp...those 2 are untouchable, but that's for another time)

Anyway -- you mentioned:

"i never participated in any of the kind bullshit they did. i'm very PROUD of that!"



THAT'S exactly what I'm talking about - Yahtzee!- that's the ownership -- you chose a course of action and reaction -- just make sure too that that perception and honesty applies to the stuff you're not proud of...that's the hard stuff...and one of the reasons i respect Damon so much -- he's not bragging when he owns up to being a prick - he's just owning it - at least that's how i read his post - and know his character to be.

12
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: March 31, 2006, 08:56:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-03-31 17:05:00, stillahippie564 wrote:

"what happened to me was out of my control man....what happened after that,under the circumstances,was out of my control.....my "owning up" was going up there....i should've followed my gut feelings about it.....but i stupidily followed my dick....

i didn't go up there for the reasons you think...

i've never told anyone that....except one person,and i just told them today.....go ahead and bash me....it doesn't matter to me anymore.i know in my heart,what happened to me up there was wrong and there were many ppl involved....you guys say damon wasn't a part of it?..ok,but it sure was funny how he was "assigned" to watch me!

treat me like vermine and i've never forgot it.i have a great memory.....i remember details most ppl just don't remember about themselves.why am i mad? good lord dude,i just found out the truth what? 3 months ago?.....lol...who wouldn't be angry?....when i first came online,i thought i had dealt with all the past as good as i could....i wasn't the angry mess i have been lately......my first postings were informative not angry."owning up" to what?....i was never a "yeller" at straight....no,i always wanted to know why a person did whatever they did wrong....i wanted to help them sort it out.i got sat down a lot because i was percieved as weak to the "staff" in st.pete.......it wasn't till my last months in that place that i requested "pre-training" to be a staffer,and then it was my newcomers that convinced me to apply....i never applied while i was on my phases and not until i was 3 1/2 years done,did i apply to be a staffer!

i didn't do it because of reasons any of you think.funny,i get bashed for 5 weeks of staff...2 paychecks......and ppl like damon get no shit at all.neither does paul or anyone else i've seen on here that was on staff! i really believed i could help....make a difference etc....i never knew i was a joke and they were planning my departure BEFORE i ever came up!if it sounds like i'm angry,i am.thats cause i'm dealing with shit i never knew i had to deal with.........talking about my band and everything else right now is very trivial to me....as you staffers always said"don't avoid yourselves".....that,right now,is good advise....it wasn't way back when,but it sure is now,pertaining to all the shit you guys up in boston created for me!....i'm gone"


"what happened to me was out of my control man...."



Agreed



what happened after that,under the circumstances, was out of my control....."



That's kind of a loaded statement and shirks some things -- I agree that pretty much everything is out of our control, but to qualify it with "under the circumstances" excuses or dismisses your role - and your participation



People were watching you -- not in your control, but how you performed was in your control



Using Damon as an example again (I'm not picking on him, it's just a good fit for this) - Damon never qualifies his role in Straight as under the circumstances - he takes full ownership of his part - he could totally pass it off onto someone or something else, but he doesn't - he owns it



Another illustration of what I'm trying to say - if I'm driving home and some ass-clown cuts me off and i almost crash into him -- that's not my fault - let's say he then flips me the bird - that's not my fault - and then lets say I get out of the car, pull him out the window and beat him to death - well - that's my fault - I can't say under the circumstances what else was i supposed to do...


 
Anyway - it's actually really none of my business - LOL! - so I appreciate you hearing me out and letting me put my 2 cents in

13
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: March 31, 2006, 10:37:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-31 07:14:00, Guest wrote:

"
Quote
NONE OF US HERE are victims

Really?"


ONLY in the context of what we're talking about -- this thing with Damon and Matt -

I know that there are victims out there - and on this board - but of us "here" - and by here I mean in this chat -- in this conversation and this space - none of us (me, Matt, Damon, Paul) are purely victims - we're all active partcipants -

I don't know you -- but would have to assume that you are an active participant in your life - and not a victim - that's always my first assumption about people - that they are active participants in their choices and actions -

For me - I was 16 and put in Straight - but i don't consider myself a victim of that - the things that happened to me are not my "fault" -- but my response to them is --
In this chat - it's not Matt's fault that people conspired against him, not at all - but the choices he made are all his choices and his responsibility -

14
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: March 31, 2006, 10:00:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-31 06:33:00, Guest wrote:

"
Quote
and maybe once you just own it you can forgive yourself and what was done to you wont matter anymore -

How would someone forgive themselves for what was done to them?"


It's that ole take responsibility thing --

I think -- and again -- just me -- but I think Matt regrets a lot of the stuff he did as we all do and it's easier to look at the past from the perception of the victim, but if you look back as an active participant (as we all were) then it's a whole different game -

Example - and I'm using Damon only because we're talking about him, but this could be anyone...but what if Damon looked back and was like:

"Group and the job made me into that asshole - I was that way because that's what was expected of me and needed of me - It's not my fault - and the things I did were because of you and because of group"

What if those that ran Straight were like:

"This is all your fault and your parents fault for putting you in Straight. You're fault for doing drugs and your parents fault for seeking the help of total strangers...what kind of person lets their child be run by other kids, and shut off from the family...We did nothing wrong - we just provided a venue for YOU and those around you to do this to yourself"

Anyway -- Damon has taken responsibility for his actions - it's easier for him now to forgive himself and hence to forgive others -

I haven't read Damon blasting Matt or anyone else for things done to him - he never blamed us for him being the way he was in Straight - he owns it

There's a HUGE difference between a victim and an active participant -- NONE OF US HERE are victims we are all -- ALL OF US -- active partcipants in this.

We're not talking about about a newcomer that was molested by a host dad -- in this instance we're talking about a man who was in a bad living and bad working situation -- with choices and actions to make -

15
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Springfied VA late 85, Stoughton MA 86
« on: March 31, 2006, 09:19:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-03-31 04:00:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Couldn't help but notice all of this really interesting levels of rising BS in here... The anger after 20 years is also just a little bit frightening, but of course hippi, I did not go through what you went through and in fact I am only learning of your "trauma" thru this site.

I entered straight(Boston)in 88 at 15,  and to this day I have never again (thankfully)walked into a world as insane as that one.

Straight actually was a good experience for some (not me)and clearly (not you), but obviously at one point you did consider it so. Decades have passed, we have all lost loved ones, friends, welcomed new ones into the world and hopefully all changed for the better. After all we were just kids, institutionalized in one of the most fucked up places in the country. I see the experience for what it was now and check it back into the corner of my mind where issues of victimization and symptoms of ptsd reside because i am too busy to afford the luxery of feeling sorry for myself. I don't know you but I wish the best for you. Heres to a better 20 years, Hippi. ::cheers:: "


Brillinat! -- honestly - perfectly put!

We were kids...kids! - what the hell did we know?

I'm actually nervous about saying this - I'm afraid of getting attacked (just like in group - again) - but at what point do we take responsibility?

I see Damon has owned up to being an asshole -- shit - I remember him as the enforcer as it were - that was his role -- anyway - he's aware of it and from the sound of it makes no excuses fot it - he owns it - it would be so easy to blame others for his being that way - but he owns it

Here's where I'm big time afraid I'll get attacked - but I must say it - I don't see Matt taking any responsibility for his actions - and I see others on this post making excuses for him.

Before you jump all over me - this is just my perception on this - I know in group the unpopular view gets creamed, but I'm hoping to be heard and not attacked -

I was there in Stoughton - and I thought Matt was such a unique and interesting staffer - it was as if the winds of change had blown in to the building -- after all is said and done - Matt was in the wrong place at the wrong time -

Weren't we all?

I guess that depends on your character and the way you perceive life

For me - my life is better today - I still have my PTSD -- I know what my part was in the bad ballet that was Straight - both the good I did and the bad i did - those i helped and those I hurt - as well as those who helped and hurt me -

I take ownership and responsibility for all of it -

Matt - I'm scared to say this, but it just sounds like you're still so very bitter after all these years - and I'm sorry for that -

I was so psyched when you showed up -- I was amazed that we could sing American Pie and say Whisky & Rye instead of water and ice - I thought things were going to change for the better

I don't want you to read this and say see - I was screwed over - see the kids loved me -

I don't care about the back room politics - I don't care about the personality conflicts

You did what you did the same way that Damon did what he did and the same way i did what I did -- but you're the only one not owning it fully - and maybe once you just own it you can forgive yourself and what was done to you wont matter anymore -

I hope I don't attacked for this - but I guess I will - that's how it was in Straight and that's how it is on this board -- it's like Bizarro Straight...

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