1111
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How 'bout them cubbies?
« on: February 28, 2003, 07:13:00 PM »
[ This Message was edited by: cult survivor on 2004-11-29 06:47 ]
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1112
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How 'bout them cubbies?
« on: February 28, 2003, 04:53:00 PM »
no???
1113
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / survivor of a straight survivor
« on: February 27, 2003, 12:13:00 PM »
It's sweet that you care.
[ This Message was edited by: Lezli on 2004-08-18 13:19 ]
[ This Message was edited by: Lezli on 2004-08-18 13:19 ]
1114
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / New Question
« on: February 25, 2003, 10:23:00 PM »
I have been a mother for 12 years. My daughter Loves me. I know I'm doing this Mommy thing right, she's a pre-teen and trusts me enough to tell me everything without me ever having to "extract" anything. That trust, I earned, with good dececions, paticence, and love. Why are so many people of this world not capable of figuring this out? Sad, but true. I am proud of the wonderous gift of a child I am raising.
Love you children
Morli ::kiss:
[ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-04-05 00:02 ]
Love you children
Morli ::kiss:
[ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-04-05 00:02 ]
1115
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / New Question
« on: February 25, 2003, 07:00:00 PM »
Oops! Sorry everyone. Will the moderator delete that last post? I'm really sorry.I guess that was a few to many os, also doesn't help that I forgot to log in. Morli
1116
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / New Question
« on: February 25, 2003, 03:50:00 PM »
I sent her Wes Fager's introduction to straight inc. I got from her what I've always gotten...
DENIAL!!!!!
It was horrible, my heart broke all over again. She even called me a liar and defended herself over and over. I kept screaming,"I WAS A CHILD." She did not hear me. I'm so sad. She asked me things like why I didn't tell her, I told her,"I've been telling you for 17 years." This Jan. she called me to deny knowledge of my father abusing me for the first 13 years of my life,AGAIN!! She can't keep enough track of the things she says, let alone acknowledge anything I have EVER told her even MY FAVORITE COLOR. I know my mom doesn't know me, how could she? I was not there, I was where she put me 13-17. And before that , I guess the reason she didn't notice I was getting abused by my prick father is because she was SHOPPING!!!!! I need help dealing with all this rage, please help me again...
:
: I don't want to hate my mom anymore, but what do I do? M
[ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-02-25 12:53 ]
DENIAL!!!!!
It was horrible, my heart broke all over again. She even called me a liar and defended herself over and over. I kept screaming,"I WAS A CHILD." She did not hear me. I'm so sad. She asked me things like why I didn't tell her, I told her,"I've been telling you for 17 years." This Jan. she called me to deny knowledge of my father abusing me for the first 13 years of my life,AGAIN!! She can't keep enough track of the things she says, let alone acknowledge anything I have EVER told her even MY FAVORITE COLOR. I know my mom doesn't know me, how could she? I was not there, I was where she put me 13-17. And before that , I guess the reason she didn't notice I was getting abused by my prick father is because she was SHOPPING!!!!! I need help dealing with all this rage, please help me again...
:
: I don't want to hate my mom anymore, but what do I do? M [ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-02-25 12:53 ]
1117
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Ashcroft busts bongmakers all over U.S.
« on: February 25, 2003, 03:03:00 PM »
:scared:
1118
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Heavy Politics
« on: February 25, 2003, 10:21:00 AM »
Clay,
I'm with you all the way!! You sound like a really cool dude, as well as inteligent. :nworthy:
Thanks for keepin' it real,
Morli or Lesli
However I stopped going by Lesli after the first 19 years of my life,(bad memories) and was fortunate enough to be re-named my one of my oldest , and best friends.
See ya.
I'm with you all the way!! You sound like a really cool dude, as well as inteligent. :nworthy:
Thanks for keepin' it real,
Morli or Lesli
However I stopped going by Lesli after the first 19 years of my life,(bad memories) and was fortunate enough to be re-named my one of my oldest , and best friends.
See ya.
1119
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / New Question
« on: February 23, 2003, 12:55:00 AM »
Our stories all sound so similar. I am awaiting a response from my mother as I sit. After finding all this myself, especially Wes Fager?s, I sent her that reading material to ?breeze over.? I?m not expecting any revelation from her though. I?m convinced my mother is empty. After all, I?ve been trying to tell her anything my whole life and she?s not heard any of it. People from my psychiatrist, to my sister agree, but I still wait, because I need a Mommy. My sister was not in straight (thank goodness) but almost feels the exact same way I do. This is not at all to ever imply that we should all, hate our parents, But if a parent can?t ever hear our pain without reacting with defensiveness, sadly those are their issues, they may carry with them always. As far as what you said about intimate relationships, I hear you. Never give up. Straight may have put trillions of mental obstacles in our way, along with any one else who abused us, but what does not kill us... It?s so hard being patient, especially when you are starved for love, yet trust NO ONE. It ?s taken me 17 years to find one healthy relationship. It takes so much time. That?s the only thing that?s reliable though, time.
1122
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / New Question
« on: February 22, 2003, 01:04:00 AM »
Your response to this question is so similar to what mine would have been. I?m not used to any of this yet, this being my second posting, and about 94 hours into learning of how many comrades I have out there or that any one else had the same experience as me. My post is the ?help me someone.?
For years I have been broken hearted to hear the words, ?I can?t handle you?, or ?you are to intense for me.? Just in the past four days it has been so important and amazing to learn these horrible traits I literally possessed, were not me. It will take years to forgive or correct this ?destruction skill? thanks to straight, I too am jaded, and engulfed with guilt and shame. I?m so sorry, that is not me. At least I know this now, finally.
As far as my family, my abusive Father died when I was 13. six months later, I was sent away, not to straight but another boot camp style child prison. I was there two years. Six months later is when I was thrown in straight. Between that small period of time, I was a run away. I knew my Mother was doing everything in her power to find me, so she could send me away again. The day she had two large men, whom I did know, pick me up, dragged me kicking, screaming, biting, scratching spitting, to a van and drove (a short drive, I lived in Richardson where the facility was) to straight Dallas. I would have jumped out if ever there was an opportunity, I was small though, they were big. That moment, the one right before you don?t see your parents for a long time, I told her, ?I swear to God, if you do this to me again, I will NEVER forgive you.? 17 years later, I not only can?t, but won?t. At least not until she could ever admit to anything, but I have been trying to tell her for 17 fucking years, ?don?t you realize, because you stole it from me my youth, did not exist.? My mom refused to open a host home, yet we lived in Richardson(Dallas). Since 13 I was not welcome in my own home. My fiancé has been on a personal campaign ever since we stumbled into this info. He could be nothing less of a true saint, daily I?m thankful. My mom, I can?t touch on the subject . My feelings of any thing that resembles love for my Mom are frozen. For years I could and still do feel nothing but REPULSION.
Thank you for simply being alive,
Morli a.k.a. Lesli
[ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-04-04 23:47 ]
For years I have been broken hearted to hear the words, ?I can?t handle you?, or ?you are to intense for me.? Just in the past four days it has been so important and amazing to learn these horrible traits I literally possessed, were not me. It will take years to forgive or correct this ?destruction skill? thanks to straight, I too am jaded, and engulfed with guilt and shame. I?m so sorry, that is not me. At least I know this now, finally.
As far as my family, my abusive Father died when I was 13. six months later, I was sent away, not to straight but another boot camp style child prison. I was there two years. Six months later is when I was thrown in straight. Between that small period of time, I was a run away. I knew my Mother was doing everything in her power to find me, so she could send me away again. The day she had two large men, whom I did know, pick me up, dragged me kicking, screaming, biting, scratching spitting, to a van and drove (a short drive, I lived in Richardson where the facility was) to straight Dallas. I would have jumped out if ever there was an opportunity, I was small though, they were big. That moment, the one right before you don?t see your parents for a long time, I told her, ?I swear to God, if you do this to me again, I will NEVER forgive you.? 17 years later, I not only can?t, but won?t. At least not until she could ever admit to anything, but I have been trying to tell her for 17 fucking years, ?don?t you realize, because you stole it from me my youth, did not exist.? My mom refused to open a host home, yet we lived in Richardson(Dallas). Since 13 I was not welcome in my own home. My fiancé has been on a personal campaign ever since we stumbled into this info. He could be nothing less of a true saint, daily I?m thankful. My mom, I can?t touch on the subject . My feelings of any thing that resembles love for my Mom are frozen. For years I could and still do feel nothing but REPULSION.
Thank you for simply being alive,
Morli a.k.a. Lesli
[ This Message was edited by: Morli on 2003-04-04 23:47 ]