all the hurt

[Anonymous]

God I get so sick of people oversimplifying that people who see CEDU as a negative institution as whining bitches blaming all their life's problems on CEDU.  NO. Most people who have a problem with CEDU have a problem with it because it was therapeutically harmful and a total waste of time, money, and space. Not wanting others to be subjected to a place they will not only be deprived of real help and support, but possibly traumatized, is not exactly a negative.

[Anonymous]

here's a thought; if they think you're a whiny bitch, who cares? think back to when you were there. remember those kids? the kids that walked up and down the halls looking for good shit to snitch on people for? oh yeah, the ones that slept with one eye open so they could snitch on you if you came into their dorm to talk to your buddies. the ones that actually told you to "get in agreement" cuz you left your shirt untucked. who cares what they think? those kids made the place half as bad as the program made it. if they were that pathetic then, think about them now? there are exponentially more people around here that agree with you and know what you felt and feel than there are little punks like them. so don't stress man, they just make their presense known more, because that's what they have to do to get a little attention in their lives.  
::drummer::

[If u want to know..then a]

On 2005-10-19 09:12:00, Anonymous wrote:

"here's a thought; if they think you're a whiny bitch, who cares? think back to when you were there. remember those kids? the kids that walked up and down the halls looking for good shit to snitch on people for? oh yeah, the ones that slept with one eye open so they could snitch on you if you came into their dorm to talk to your buddies. the ones that actually told you to "get in agreement" cuz you left your shirt untucked. who cares what they think? those kids made the place half as bad as the program made it. if they were that pathetic then, think about them now? there are exponentially more people around here that agree with you and know what you felt and feel than there are little punks like them. so don't stress man, they just make their presense known more, because that's what they have to do to get a little attention in their lives.  

::drummer:: "

Not only is that what they do to get attention in their lives, but it is all they can do.  These little kids that sit on here trying to talk all this shit are the kids that wouldn't stand up in a crowd to say the shit to your face.  Check the source!  Apparently this one who says stupid shit before he sits down and thinks about it is one of those people.  And if they call you bitch, who cares?  I am proud to be the bitch I am today.  And I don't mean the term as in someone's slave, but the term as an independant woman who will not only set these "kids" straight with the words that come out of my mouth, but will also be the one that has major success in my life without having to ask my mommy or daddy to give me a leg up ahead of everyone else.  This site is a good place for EVERYONE to voice their opinions about their experience and you shouldn't let anyone, but anyone hold you down for speaking your mind.  You never know who you might be doing a favor by voicing your experience.  There are a lot of people on here who need guidance from their peers after what they have become post-CEDU.

[Anonymous]

I could care less if anyone thinks I'm a bitch. I've been called worst things by better people. I just get tired of people who favor CEDU oversimplifying the issue.

And I totally agree with you about other people benefitting from voicing shared experiences.

--shanlea

[Anonymous]

But bitching about how bad CEDU was gets you no where in life. I say shut the fuck up, get over your problems, move on. It's that simple. I have no sympathy for people who are svrewing up in life now. Fuck 'em. The world is a crazy place. If people want to go blaming their problems on CEDU, well that's just ignorant and stupid. That's what this whole post was about to begin with. It was some little whore/drug addict/dumbass complaining about how messed up her life was. Who's to blame for that? She is! Not CEDU. Not her parents. Her, and only her. Yes, we got into a name calling contest, and I found it to be quite entertaining, but the larger issue here is that people need to get over it. The place is gone. Yes it's coming back, and I believe under the right people it can be a positive environment. But I don't want to read anymore posts about how CEDU is to blame for your problems. I'll be more than happy to say "Shut the fuck up" to whoever does this. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Was she dramatic? Sure. But she wasn't asking for your sympathy jackass, so why bother letting everyone know that she doesn't have it?

[shanlea]

Look, few blame the fact they are a drug addicts/whores/ or dumb asses on CEDU. And for those who do, who are we to judge? It is highly possible that a confluence of factors such as upbringing, temperment, AND being wrongly placed in a mindfuckingly bizarre cult contributed to future problems. Most people I know who say "take responsibility" are often the first to dump it in on someone else when the shit hits the fan in their own lives.  It's much more complicated than that.

For God's sake, we've ALL been dumbasses at one time or another (maybe some more regularly than others).

All I want is for kids who have issues, such as learning differences, trauma from rape or abuse, mental illness, etc. to have an opportunity to attain real support rather than be continually mindfucked to death.  Other kids with defiant or criminal backgrounds, well, I have no idea what to do there. But I don't think mental voodoo is the answer.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I went there. That's why I can judge those who blame their probelms on CEDU.

[If u want to know..then a]

WOW!  I go to lunch and look what happens!

Ok, this is an issue that will see no end.  I can see the one side saying that CEDU was a cult, blahsi blah!  I also see the other side of building a bridge (and getting over it).  But, see, this is where the confrontation starts.  There is an equal side to both.  This will always be a neverending battle on here like it is in the mind of those out there.  That's why it is brought up so much!  I am sure that there are people out there that would love to "get over it" and obviously there are people that would love them to "get over it".  But if they can't pinpoint what it is to "get over" then there will never be a resolution.  That was one thing that CEDU taught me.  We all make choices.  And there is always a choice to make.  Whether or not either of them are good choices, is irrelevant.  But if you are constantly having a battle in your head about what you EXPECTED to be after CEDU and what you are now, I will just say that THAT is holding you back from "letting it go".  If you're not in the school, the you are NOT being mindfucked by anyone else but yourself these days!  Ok, I think I can get off my soap box now.  Thanks for listening guys!   ::soapbox::

[Anonymous]

Well, I certainly agree with the "needing to get over it" part. But I also realize that getting over it is not always something that can be done with a snap of the fingers. It took me a long time. I don't like it when people say that someone "needs to get over it" as a dismissal of someone's issues, but I do agree that it's important, and sometimes, people tend to hang on and obsess over their past unneccesarily. I do feel, however, that things like this forum can serve as a catharsis for some folks.

----> Another Castle

[Anonymous]

Mindfucking at an impressionable age does seep in and rear it's head later. End of story. Get over it? We are not robots for God's sakes.  Stuff I can just get over might not be easy for the next guy, and vice versa. In terms of CEDU, I don't even really think of my tenure there a billion and half years ago.  I think of the industry as a whole impacting young lives.

I think its possibly more accurate to encourage one to move past it.  But get over it? Depending on one's experience, its perfectly acceptable to struggle with getting over something.

--shanlea

[If u want to know..then a]

Ok, I think there is some playing semantics here.  Getting over it doesn't just mean to brush past it and bury it somewhere.  It means to DEAL with the issue in whatever way you can in order to get a positive outcome of it.  That's how I used it in my last post.  I do agree that this can't be done with a snap of fingers and I wasn't implying that you could just wave a magic wand and have it be gone.  The bottom line is that we choose what to get over and what not to get over.  Now, if there is a level of help that you are not sure of getting to help with this, that's the choice you are making to ask for help or not.  CEDU, well in a short sentence did not prepare me for my friends to abandon me due to the fact that I was trying to use my "tools" that I spent 3 years learning.  But I also had to look at the fact that there is a time and place for everything and I cannot blame CEDU for my friends turning the other cheek can I?  That is simply where I am coming from.  I think that CEDU was wrong with how they let people leave that place thinking that they were fixed when there wasn't a problem with being broken in the first place.

[Anonymous]

You can just get over things though. It really is that easy. You can wake up one day and say "Hey, you know what? Fuck CEDU! I don't need to reflect anymore about that place. I can just forget about it and move on with my life" It is really that easy. So enough about people needing to take their own time with it and having to feel their way around what happened to them. That sounds like the psychobable they spewed there. You can make a concious effort to say fuck it!

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-19 13:42:00, If u want to know..then ask wrote:

"Ok, I think there is some playing semantics here.  Getting over it doesn't just mean to brush past it and bury it somewhere.  It means to DEAL with the issue in whatever way you can in order to get a positive outcome of it.  That's how I used it in my last post.  I do agree that this can't be done with a snap of fingers and I wasn't implying that you could just wave a magic wand and have it be gone.  The bottom line is that we choose what to get over and what not to get over.  Now, if there is a level of help that you are not sure of getting to help with this, that's the choice you are making to ask for help or not.  CEDU, well in a short sentence did not prepare me for my friends to abandon me due to the fact that I was trying to use my "tools" that I spent 3 years learning.  But I also had to look at the fact that there is a time and place for everything and I cannot blame CEDU for my friends turning the other cheek can I?  That is simply where I am coming from.  I think that CEDU was wrong with how they let people leave that place thinking that they were fixed when there wasn't a problem with being broken in the first place.  "

I agree, this was the jist of my previous post as well. But I think others may have interpreted it as a dismissal. I also like your point about how maybe the people who are the most bitter are the ones who may be having a battle over what they expected to be like after CEDU versus what they are truly like, or what they may have been like had they not gone to CEDU at all. I had to realize a long time ago that arguing the hypothetical is a waste of energy. But it was a hard habit to break.

----> Another Castle

[If u want to know..then a]

The hardest thing I had a problem with was the misconception that I was going to return home a NEW person with a huge outlook on life being EXACTLY as I have always dreamed!  The problem was that no one taught me what to do in times of despair.  While my mother is screaming in my face "I wasted all that money for NOTHING", I was falling apart inside.  Due to the fact that I was overly sensitive to my mother's money because of how I was raised.  Also due to the fact that I felt like a huge disappointment not only to my family, but most importantly to me.  But yes, I got over it.  I sat her down and let her know that while she continues to tell me that she wasted all that money, the fact is that now it is gone and we need to find a new way to deal with the post-CEDU issues.  That new way, was rediscovering myself by myself.  I'm not going to say that everyone can do this, because we are all different.  But that is what it took for me to get over it.