afs, you have some good points there.
My family changed a lot from the program, for the better, but I still felt like my parents held it over my head how much the program cost. I feel like Carlbrook really does make the parents feel like they've done this "amazing" work, and I'm not saying my parents didn't, but it took a while for my parents at least to understand just how hard it was to be there. They also took Carlbrook's suggestions a bit far, especially about things in college--I wasn't allowed to go through greek recruitment my freshman year because "Carlbrook said it would be bad"--and funny enough, I've made some amazing friendships through the system I think Carlbrook would approve of.
I went to Carlbrook because of a lot of emotional insecurities in high school, and it was a big shock to suddenly move from a relatively sheltered environment to being around kids who had done things like dealt drugs, had addiction problems, gotten into issues with the law, etc. That said, those kids became some of my best friends as when it all boiled down to it, we had similar emotional issues. I am grateful for that eye-opening experience which made me a lot more compassionate towards others and got me off my high horse.
However, it was really frustrating, to me at least, how much some staff tried to convince me I belonged there, it was like they tore me down from day 1. My parents later admitted to me that Kelly Dunbar, the admittance counselor, didn't even want to let me in at first because I didn't have "serious enough issues." I didn't have bad grades, I had been pretty involved in school, and they attacked that. The girls could also be vicious at first--I didn't gain as much weight as a lot of people because I loved running and older girls would keep telling me how much weight I would gain eventually. I wasn't allowed to hold positions on committees or even be on some because I was told that "perfection" was my coping mechanism--which, in a sense, was true, but it was frustrating because I never felt like I got that sense of "ok, I'm doing well here." I'm almost scared to write that on here now for fear of being recognized, having staff read this and be like "oh, so and so never changed." It's funny how you still want their approval regardless of if you know you are doing well. It's also ironic that some of the kids that did hold positions have done much worse out here in the real world, and that my angry sense of "ok, you think I can't do this? Screw you" that I got from some Carlbrook experiences has, for me at least, led to a fairly productive life so far and some great accomplishments.
There were some amazing staff members at Carlbrook who truly reached out to me and got me through and I still communicate with. Funny enough, I got close to those staff who weren't as in your face or the ones who were a bit renegade--basically the ones who truly cared about the kids. I found my passion and future career path there, but I don't know, if I could go back and decide my life path, if I would choose to go through all that. Being in college, it's hard to explain why people don't know what your high school was, why you didn't have a prom, etc. I feel a lot more mature than a lot of my peers, but I also feel very disconnected, and like afs said, like I missed out on some formative years of my life. With the sport I'm in (if I say it, I will identify myself, so just leaving it at that), it's been a hard catch-up game to participate in college and explain why you're so passionate about it yet couldn't participate in high school. Freshman year going to practice was a huge frustration as it was a constant reminder of how I missed out on two years of something I loved and sometimes it still is because I'll never be as good as those who had the chance to participate all through high school. With my sport, it's time you can't get back.
So, I guess if there are parents on here reading this, think long and hard about it. Don't hold it against your kid, and realize how hard the school really is.
