Things that make me chuckle..

[RegalPlague]

http://www.sighost.us/members/RegalPlague/godisbroke5yr.jpg'>

http://www.sighost.us/members/RegalPlague/ninja.jpg'>

http://www.sighost.us/members/RegalPlague/killer_dog.jpg'>

-That is all..go about your business.

[`]

[ This Message was edited by: fka on 2005-06-01 21:01 ]

[Anonymous]

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on highway
rest stop I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were
threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they
wouldn't listen.
"So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and
smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring,
and threw it on the ground. 'Now, back off!!' I yelled 'Or you'll answer
to me!'"
St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago."

[Erinys]

On 2005-02-20 07:45:00, formerly known as wrote:

"i would definitely give money to the second guy.



 :rofl: "

I second the motion

To seek out the best through the whole Union, we must resort to the information which from the best of men, acting disinterestedly and with the purest motives, is sometimes incorrect.
http://laissezfairebooks.com/product.cfm?op=view&pid=FF7485&aid=10247' target='_new'> Thomas Jefferson Letter to Elias Shipman and others of New Haven, July 12, 1801.

[`]

reminds me of dc

[Cayo Hueso]

The Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/i ... onkeys.htm

Whenever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force.
http://laissezfairebooks.com/product.cfm?op=view&pid=FF7485&aid=10247' target='_new'>Thomas Jefferson: Kentucky Resolutions, 1798

[Antigen]

" Don?t know our readership very well, do you? They?re not just drunks, they?re ambitious drunks. It?ll become an organized pilgrimage of sorts, I imagine. Soon the drunks and the monkeys will be having great shin-digs together.   Imagine drinking with a bunch of crazed, uncivilized monkeys! Think of the depths of depravity they?ll sink to! I shudder at the very notion! "

It's us! It's us!

Never let your sense of
    morals get in the way of
    doing what's right
--Isaac Asimov

[Cayo Hueso]

Be sure to click next at the bottom and see How to Fend Off Religious Nuts!!  

http://drunkard.com/issues/10_04/10-04-survival.htm

HOW TO SURVIVE AN A.A. MEETING

1.) Do not make eye contact.
If you do, make sure your eyes do not flicker toward the flask in your pocket because your eyes will always give you away.

2.) Do not surrender your will.
When asked to stand up and confess you are an alcoholic, you should mumble ?I am an agoraholic.? If they catch on to your ruse, let out a yelp and bolt outside to prove you are indeed addicted to wide open spaces.

3.) Do not brag about your drinking prowess.
If you catch yourself mentioning the time you chugged tequila while being held upside down by four nude hookers, make sure you close the story with, ?Man, that totally sucked.?

4.) Refrain from making ?lip farts?  or other disparaging sounds during members? tearful confessions.
Keep in mind that some segments of society consider drinking a twelve-pack of beer in a single sitting to be ?hardcore boozing.?

5.) Avoid getting drawn into the prayer circle at the end of the meeting.
This can sometimes lead to hugging. Announce that you belong to an animist sect and bark aggressively if anyone attempts to hold your hand.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
http://www.perlservices.com' target='_new'>Perl Services

[Antigen]

On 2005-03-02 19:24:00, Cayo Hueso wrote:

5.) Avoid getting drawn into the prayer circle at the end of the meeting.
This can sometimes lead to hugging. Announce that you belong to an animist sect and bark aggressively if anyone attempts to hold your hand.

Damn! I wish I'd thought of that! Would have been a whole lot better than going along w/ Pam's thing about me staring at her tits!

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-- George Carlin

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

..and if that doesn't work, try rape.

[Anonymous]

It only hurts when I blink.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-03-03 13:06:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

..and if that doesn't work, try rape."

That's really fucking funny.  Asshole.

[Froderik]

I was making a point there. Fuck you if you can't take a joke. That's just it...the ad itself might as well have been condoning date-rape or something. No, I don't think it's cool to rape ppl. What's the matter with you that you have to assume that the poster was condoning it necessarily? Yeah, I'm the anon who posted those last few images.  :eek:

[Erinys]

I bring this out once a year - if I can find a safe place to tell it.

Three (insert choice of non-western ethnic type here) arrived at the pearly gates hopihg for admission.  St. Peter surveyed the applicants and noted that although none were Christian, all had lived good lives.

"My friends" said Peter, "Although your papers are not in order, I can admit those of you who can answer this question correctly."
 "What is Easter?"

The first in line considered and spoke. (insert choice of non-western ethnic accent) "Easter,  Christian holiday, Family gather... they decorate tree,  exchange gifts..."

BAM! He's gone.

The second applicant tried. "Easter, Christian moveable feast... There is turkey, cranberries pumpkin pie...."

WHAM!

The third approached with confidence.
 "Easter, the most important Christian holiday. Jesus is crucified on the cross, he is dead. Jesus is buried in tomb three days. On the third day Jesus rise... He come out of the tomb..."

St. Peter is beaming!

The applicant continues, "He see his shadow...."

All we ask is to be let alone.
-- Jefferson Davis (1808-1889): First Message to the Confederate Congress, March,1861.