Hi All, guess this may be the right place?

[aillecat2112]

Hi All, guess this may be the right place? and not the mailing list? Anyway, I know some people don't recognize the name, but anyone from KIDS between April of 93 to September/October of 1994 may remember Pat Lynch, now Trish Lynch, who is me. I was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, several years after KIDS.

In KIDS, it was a "drug problem", of which I definitely don't have, and a "sexual compulsion", if you stretch it, I guess the idea that you aren;t a man, but a woman due to hormonal disruptions when you were younger/in the womb, is quite a compulsion.


Having a difficult time lately with all of this, even though its been 7 years, I'm one tough-assed bitch who decided to ignore it all until I was in a better spot. SO I've survived physically, and I'm doing well financially and professionally, but now I'm finding that I'm having worse flashbacks and remembering alot I just didn;t remember, I'm now pretty agoraphobic, I can;t ride in the back seats of cars,  I feel like I see people from KIDS all over town (I live in Queertown, MA, Northampton, where the lesbians abound). I have trouble sleeping at night because of nightmares, so I'm about as sleep deprived as I was when I was there.


I've been searching on and off on the internet for years, since I'm internet woman, and ubergeek, and work for the worlds largest geek web site.  (Slashdot) for others, and it seemed all mention had dropped off the face of the earth until recently. Last night, while in a real funk, and trying to find something for my Therapist to work with, I found an archive of info kept by someone (Ginger maybe?)  which both made my night, and made it really rough for me and my SO (she's wonderful though)


Anyway, thats enough, I can;t say I'm ecstatic to be rehashing all of this, but knowing there are others of us out there may help me with finally healing and putting them behind me.

[Kathy]

Re: Hi All, guess this may be the right place? This is the place!  Welcome, I'm glad you found us.  You should also take a look at http://www.thestraights.com'>The Straights  For more information...  


Take it easy

Kathy

[Antigen]

Welcome You might also check into that Kids of ElPaso link from the list of discussions. I understand a lot of people transfered from there to NJ at some point. You might find old friends.

If there's a worse idea going than locking kids up for victimless crimes, it's probably locking them in close proximity to some tyrannical altruist bent on helping them even if it kills them.
http://trebach.org/conference.html

[aillecat2112]

thanks so I checked out that link....ummm wow. brought up alot of stuff, but its good, I didn't imagine all of it. Anyway, working at resolving all of this in my mind. I'm definitely going to try and be there in July, I think it would be good for me. Though, I have this crusader quality to me that won't quit, I'm very very tired of fighting the phantoms in my own head.

[chaoslodge]

Welcome Hey,


Welcome.  I am Scott who was in Straight Inc in 83.  I still do not sleep very well either and your mentioning the thing about the back seats of cars is soemthing I have a problem with too.  I was not even aware of it until you mentioned it.  More proof of how fucked up both Kids and Straight were.


I remember a lot of kids including myself who were ridiculed about our sexuallity issues.  It was tough enough being hetero-sexual and listening to their bullshit.  I can't imagine how horrible it must of been for you and other LGBTs.  Thanks for chiming in

[aillecat2112]

LGBTQ at KIDS yeah and there was no way to ask "are you gay?", "are you not what you seem?", howeer I know of at least me ond one oher "guy" in there were transsexual. I will hereafter refer to that person as "she" and "her", because it was so damned obvious.


I have no idea what her chosen name was, I know her legal name, sometimes I search for this person online, because it matters to me what happened to her I know how it screwed me up pretty badly. I was recently in contact with Dr. Trebach about LBGTQ at KIDS, since its not an issue thought about much, but besides stealing the rest of our lives, we were humiliated much more. I was forced to "admit" that I masturbated in women's clothes for fetish type reasons, when really it was part of my identity, I felt more myself, so that type of activity was more like bring myself closer to how I thought about myself so I felt comfortable with my sexual fantasies being a woman. I never once thought about men, I'm a dyke dammit >http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif' alt=''>  However I was forced to admit that too.


My big issues were with masturbation, because of the fact that I was told that doing it was losing my "Abstinence", even today I have issues with something that is a normal healthy part of people's sexuality. As a woman, and being on hormones, masturbation has become an enjoyable activity until the flashbacks start. I also, because of an abusive relationship that lasted for 5 years after I got out, have issues with orgasm, and can only do so with myself. SO as you can see, they screwed me up pretty bad sexually as well.


How many people can say "I was a girl trapped on the guys side?"


I suppose there weren't many of us, but those that were, I wouldn;t wish that one my worst enemy, unless it was Miller Newton, then I think it would be Poetic Justice.

-Trish

[Antigen]

Yeah, this is a good spot. I saw kids come in without any kind of complicating life circumstances (aside from puberty) and leave practically twitching. It's hard to imagine that mind f*** on top of a broad societal mind f**** already in progress.

If there's a worse idea going than locking kids up for victimless crimes, it's probably locking them in close proximity to some tyrannical altruist bent on helping them even if it kills them.
http://trebach.org/conference.html

[aillecat2112]

sorry as you guys can tell, I'm pretty open about my sexuality...for many reasons. I'm an activist, I spend alot of my time with activism for GLBTQ rights, and helping kids with issues they may have regarding sexuality, its not like it was there, where I have to make up how I feel, I'm finally in touch with how I feel about my own sexuality, not that it hasn;t caused its major damage. If I can stop this happening for one or two more people, or even more, my job is done, and I can rest at night. (maybe, its not working currently, my SO says I have "save the world syndrome")


The Republican party is denouncing "Fistgate" in MA, a LGBTQ sexual education seminar, that was instituted by Gov Celucci and Jane Swift, within this seimar they talk about very specific sexual practices of homosexual couples.


The same conservative Republican party helped support and subsidize the suffering and ordeals we all suffered. Its not communism people, I read Wes Fager's website, and while I agree, its not communism, its easy to use cold war terminology to denounce an institution, maybe the word "fascist" is more apropos, with an emphasis on Concentration Camps for "abnormal" people. People who do not fit within the norm of what their values seem to be. What are *they* so afraid of?


Heh, this started out to be an apology for the graphic nature of my last post, and ended up being a rant on the fascism of the Republican Party >http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif' alt=''>


Heh.

-Trish

[BostonBrave]

Hi All,guess this may be the right place? Communist nations are intolerant of alternative lifestyles. Just listen to any gays or lesbians who have managed to escape Cuba.The government there believes that homosexuality is a pathological condition caused by the free market system. While programs such as Straight are justifiably called "fascist", we should be aware that the mind-numbing self-criticism exercises that Communist party members must endure are quite like what I and thousands of other parents mistakenly consigned our kids to in Straight. A pox on every form of totalitarianism.

[Antigen]

Communist fascism Boy, this is a great thread. You're right, Trish. Communism isn't the same thing as fascism. You're also right, BostonBrave, communism isn't possible without fascism. Aside from logical philosophical arguments supporting why that is so, I note that not a lot of Miamians are known to have built makeshift rafts to get back to Cuba.


The basis for Wes' claim lies in a Senate report by Sam Irvin back in the `70's entitled 'The Federal Role in Behavior Modificaion' which detailed, point by point, the similarities between The Seed and Korean POW camps. (might just as well have used WWII or Vietnamese POW camps, but for some reason, those were laid down in history as wars of heroism)


This report actually resulted in an official ban on federal spending for programs like The Seed. Straight was exactly the same as The Seed except the the Semblers had a better business plan, including adequate political ties to get around those new federal funding restrictions.


The older generation fought communism because of the fascist methods employed to ensure everyone going along with the program, using the shared resources in a 'responsible' way. That's the catch to communism. We can't all be completely vested in eachothers' business without being completely vested in eachothers' business.

If there's a worse idea going than locking kids up for victimless crimes, it's probably locking them in close proximity to some tyrannical altruist bent on helping them even if it kills them.
http://trebach.org/conference.html