Author Topic: 1974 memories  (Read 887 times)

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Offline Jimmy Cusick

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1974 memories
« on: January 29, 2005, 04:05:00 PM »
I spent the first half of 1974 trying to escape from a very dysfunctional family. My father was a newly sober alcoholic, my mother was "emotionally troubled". I had 3 sisters and a brother, they all found God at a young age and missed the drug barrage that occured in the Cleveland suburbs in the early 70's. I was an "oddball" skinny kid that wasnt smart enough to be a nerd and was to little to be an athelete(jock). My parents fought like cats and dogs and I discovered that marijuana made me feel better and I could sore out into the cosmos, trees were greener, the sky was blue, jokes were funnier. Smoking pot allowed me to be emotionally "free", I didnt have to encounter the families mental illnesses and i experimented with L.S.D., speed and downers.  I didnt get along with any kids my age and found refuge in drugs and music and fantasyland. My parents found some of my weed and decided I had a drug problem, they acted as though I were the scapegoat. At age 15 I was severely depressed, I was scared to death to go to school because I was threatened or beat up everyday or my lunch money was taken by some "bullies". Life at home was beyond my comprehension, my father was a perfectionist who was generally quiet but radiated anger. My mother cried alot. They argued and screamed and threw plates at almost every dinner meal. I still shudder at those memories. My parents somehow focused on "ME" as the family problem and put me in a mental ward. I had long hair and my eyes were hidden as I silently watched life take place outside of myself. I was depressed, sullen and withdrawn. My parents went through catholic charities and discovered some other families who's kids had been sent to the seed in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. The next thing you know Im on my way to Florida via American Airlines.

July 1st, 1974 my father and I are standing in the swealtering heat outside the Seeds admission office on Highway 84. I met Libby but remember little else about the assesment, I know my parents had spoken on the phone with them and I was as good as gone. Hello future seedling!

Welcome to the front row at the seed inc.. A drug rehabilitation center for children. Founded and run by Art Barker  who was a recovering alcoholic himself. I remember looking out at the vast empty collection of chairs that awaited a Friday night open meeting when families would come to visit their kids. Behind me sat dozens of seedlings with short hair and white t-shirts, they had done their time on the "death row" and had become old-comers. I was a front row newcomer and met my first staff member, Robert Chun, he was the barber that introduced me to shears that gave me a marine haircut in a heartbeat. I sat through daily rap sessions that went on from 10:00A.M. to 10:00P.M. then a guy put his arm around me and escorted me to his house. His mother made us a late dinner and we talked more about the days events, I was living with the *** family, they had 2 kids in the seed Eric and Chris C***

My story goes on and on and on but since im not writing a book I will cut it short and just focus in on how the seed helped me. I am very aware of some folks dislike of the seed and how it affected them. The seed saved my ass(so to speak).
I gotta go so I will say that the seed was there when I needed it. Some of you will understand why I found a sanctuary on Highway 84.

Peace and Love to all seedlings,
Jimmy
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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1974 memories
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2005, 05:33:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-01-29 13:05:00, Jimmy Cusick wrote:

Peace and Love to all seedlings,
Jimmy


What about the rest of us? No peace for us?  :cry:

Just kidding. I hear ya'. I know kids who got litterally abandoned on the street by their families and for whom that turned out to be a lucky break.

Reading your story, what strikes me most is how similar it is to my memory. By the time I was a teenager, the intense pressure in my house was all about the Program and/or religion. (it really did get muddied there for awhile) But that was just a replacement for constant hostility, shouting and flying objects. I vaguely remember tuning that sort of thing out as a very young kid.

And, just like you, I discovered pot as a really good palliative. It didn't win me instant popularity and entre into the exciting life of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll as all those open meeting introductions had led me to believe. But, even better, it gave me temporary escape from the pressure, a little euphorea and, to my utter amazement, sometimes an unusual clarity and ability to view difficult situations w/ confidence that absolutely did carry over into life in a normal, non-intoxicated state of mind.

If only I hadn't been busted and scapegoated (exactly as you describe) I probably would have been able to tolerate the pressure and just graduate and go to college or marry far, far away like my 5 older brothers and sisters had done.

I don't believe in God. My god is patriotism. Teach a man to be a good citizen and you have solved the problem of life.
--Andrew Carnegie, Scottish-born American industrialist and philanthropist

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Dear Gabby

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1974 memories
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2005, 08:13:00 PM »
Good thing Roloff didn't plant any seeds Or you would be in here with the rest of us.Just trying to pick up all of our seeds. Not making fun of you I am so happy you found another Chance to pick your life up That takes courage! I am just saying the guy who sowed my seed just didn't plant them very good. He burried them so deep he left no room for a little sun.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »