Author Topic: Fresh blood  (Read 10180 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Antigen

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 12992
  • Karma: +3/-0
    • View Profile
    • http://wwf.Fornits.com/
Fresh blood
« Reply #45 on: January 24, 2005, 12:19:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-01-23 18:08:00, Anonymous wrote:

seeing shelly limp back to the group, bruised and shaken after a beating in the office from her parents


This really pisses me off! Sorry, I've been reading Seed stuff and remembering those days and now I'm talking the talk. I hate when that happens.

But this does just rip it!

When I was a little kid coming up, The Seed was like our church and Libby was an elder. She told her story, Art told her story, the story became legend and is ingrained in my mind.

The story was that Libby was a thousand dollar a day (in 1970 dollars, mind you) heroin addict. Her parents had NO clue, till after her intake and open meeting talks and such. And yet, somehow, she landed up on the doorstep of The Seed. And we (I really thought of it like that when I was little) took her in, straightened her up and now all was flowers and butterflies for Art's adopted daughter, Libbi.

The parents had not supported her in her heroic effort to get straight. That's why Art had adopted her after she came of age. I don't even know if there's a legal instument to adopt an adult in Florida, but that's how the story goes and no one I would talk to or listen to would ever dream of questioning that.

Poor Libbi, abandoned by her cruel, selfish, idiot (millionaire) parents. What astounding luck for her that good old Art was willing to take her in.

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that Art, Shelly or John or one of their cohorts spent a bit of time talking Libbi's dad into giving that beating.

What a fucked up bunch of people they were!

Libbi, on the off chance that you're reading this, as recently as about 3 years ago, I heard it through the grapevine that your real family would really like to hear from you. Please call them before they all kick off and the opportunity is lost forever.

If there's a worse idea going than locking people up for drug use, it's probably locking them up in close proximity to some tyranical altruist who wants to 'help' them with a problem that probably doesn't exist
-- Ginger Warbis
having had about all the help I can stand!

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline GregFL

  • Posts: 2841
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #46 on: January 24, 2005, 01:00:00 AM »
anon, everyone of those memories are with me too because as you know, we witnessed them together. Thank you for posting that.

Ginger, it wasn't libby but a kid in our school, one of several during my time, that took one of those staff endorsed parent beatings in the backrooms of the st pete seed.

It really did happen...those are memories that have never faded over the years.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline rjfro22

  • Posts: 57
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #47 on: January 24, 2005, 01:07:00 AM »
The Seed saved my life, I have a great respect for Art and many of the staff members. I am grateful, I never felt brain washed, I knew what I needed and what I didn't and learned to act as if  .. I had  some rough times, but I truly needed what the Seed offered me. I also never really allowed myself to get to close to anyone at the Seed , But I listened and every now and them I heard what I needed. We see things from our own experiences and some remember mostly the bad and others remember the good. We should not refer to anyone on either side as rejects.  
  ::boohoo::  ::boohoo::  ::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Jupiter Survivor

  • Posts: 35
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #48 on: January 24, 2005, 07:47:00 AM »
I do remember Cookie coming in after me. I remember she was really sweet (until she made staff) and very pretty and felt bad for her. I thought it was right before my 14th birthday, but considering that until the past week remembered that I didn't smoke pot until after I left the seed, who knows.  Could have been my 15th birthday, I will ask my one Aunt about the timeframe, she is one of the only ones in my family that believed me when I told her that the Seed was a really VERY bad time for me.  I do know Cookie made staff while I was in the program.  My mother to this day thinks she did the right thing.  My little brother thinks it was good too, of course, this is the guy who has used so much cocaine that he doesn't even have a functioning nose!  

I wasn't staff, probably because I was young and didn't have a dramatic enough story to tell or a family with big bucks or connections or was just mostly invisible to them.  Everybody that came in after me graduated, and I mean everybody.  There was a large gap in time that is still so fuzzy for me.  I do remember after I was there a while we were asked to come up with a name for the new newsletter that they were going to write.  I came up with the name Straight from the Seed, having no clue about the rivalry with Straight.  I remember someone giving the Seed a truckload of broken marble that they laid in the "inner sanctum" upstairs.  I think Libby was adopted by Art while I was there, but that is a little fuzzy too.

When I first found this forum some time ago, I was so pissed off, but after I moved and started reading it again, more things started coming back.  It is so strange, I really don't know how I survived it at all.

I talked with my oldest daughter last night (who is a psych major at FAU) about the Seed, but even as close as we are, it is still hard to explain it to someone that wasn't there.  She could in a way since she 2 years ago  had to deal with a different type of cult from my ex's family.  It was a so-called Christian cult in Tamarac area.  Cults all have the same criteria, isolate your victims for the outside world, treat them like crap while in the next breath tell them you love them, and tell them that "they" are the only true way.  Shit, they are buying up land in Alabama and food and water in special bins to survive the "last days." That is a story almost as bizarre as the Seed.  Thank God, she has a mind of her own and knows better than to follow someone blindly.

Thanks to all for the kind words, it was therapeutic for me to even write what I did.  It is amazing to me what the human mind will block for the sake of survival.  Knowing I was not alone in my feeling about the Seed is....well..let's just say, you will never know what that means to me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164661
  • Karma: +3/-3
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #49 on: January 24, 2005, 09:10:00 AM »
Quote



When I was a little kid coming up, The Seed was like our church and Libby was an elder. She told her story, Art told her story, the story became legend and is ingrained in my mind.






Not any more Ginger. Lybbi has nothing to do with Art and Selly, and they have nothing to do with her. Antigen, you are quite behind the times in terms of the story's ending.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ican'tTalktoYou

  • Posts: 25
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #50 on: January 24, 2005, 11:33:00 AM »
Greg, There is a difference between being a "seed reject" and rejecting the seed.  The former insinuating that one is inferior, defective and a failure.  The latter suggesting that you know better and reject the seed and their bullshit dogma.

I am sorry I apparently don?t ?get it? and haven?t, as you said, ?been gracious enough to really listen to what happened to us rejects?.  However, you saying ?rejecting the seed did not make you a failure in your life? is precisely what I was saying.

Sometimes you sound like staff.  You certainly evoke some of those old feelings from me.  Thanks a bunch.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Fran

  • Posts: 57
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #51 on: January 24, 2005, 12:36:00 PM »
Anon....you seem to know alot. Please fill us in on what you know. Why is Lybbi not with Art and Shelly anymore? Were you part of the staff at one time?
I know there are people that read this forum that can spread some light on what really went on behind the scenes.
Help us here...we need to know.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline GregFL

  • Posts: 2841
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #52 on: January 25, 2005, 12:54:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-01-24 08:33:00, Ican'tTalktoYou wrote:

"Greg, There is a difference between being a "seed reject" and rejecting the seed.  The former insinuating that one is inferior, defective and a failure.  The latter suggesting that you know better and reject the seed and their bullshit dogma.



I am sorry I apparently don?t ?get it? and haven?t, as you said, ?been gracious enough to really listen to what happened to us rejects?.  However, you saying ?rejecting the seed did not make you a failure in your life? is precisely what I was saying.



Sometimes you sound like staff.  You certainly evoke some of those old feelings from me.  Thanks a bunch.

"


sorry, I never intended that.   Listen, when you left the seed, they made you a reject. that is all I was saying.  I think you make some great points, and again I apologize for any negativity you may have gotten from me.


I think you may have slightly missed my point about "those being gracious enough". I was specifically talking about seed supporters that have listened. That to me is really something special because these guys were trained to reject everyone that rejected the seed. I did not mean it as a slight to you and I regret it came across that way to you.

Have I mentioned I freaken love your username?

 :grin:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Ican'tTalktoYou

  • Posts: 25
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #53 on: January 25, 2005, 09:44:00 AM »
I understand Greg.  

However, sometimes I wonder about my sensitivity level.  Could it have been heightened because of all the yelling and put downs during all that time at seed?  It would have to take a toll after a while, whether one is consciously aware of it or not.  Wouldn?t you think?

Anyway, I just wanted to be supportive and uplifting to Survivor.  Writing this stuff down can be very cathartic and unnerving at the same time.

As far as my username is concerned.....I can vividly remember the first time I had to say that to someone at school.  My mouth felt like it was full of saw dust and I could feel the blood draining from my face.  Yikes.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline GregFL

  • Posts: 2841
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #54 on: January 25, 2005, 10:24:00 AM »
I too remember my first day and first week back to school. It was also my entry into high school...9th grade.  Over the summer HUNDREDS of kids from Baypoint Junior high and Lakewood had been sent to the seed,and the first day was open season on us. Jokes, ridicule, yelling in your face...everything was game. Meanwhile many kids got in trouble from other seedlings telling on them for things they did. It was a very unnerving, horrible experience for me...I didn't know which direction I was gonna get it from, and I felt all were my enemy, that I was pretty much alone in the world.

I understand your sensitivity. It seems many seedlings are overly sensitive and quick to jump on others. Yes I believe for some of us is a product of what we went thru. I am the same way and have been consciously trying to change it.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Fran

  • Posts: 57
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #55 on: January 25, 2005, 01:02:00 PM »
9th grade was the pits!!I went back to school acutally in the 8th grade from the seed but that was a very small private school and no one hasseled me.
but when I went to South Broward in Hollywood forget it. I was ridiculed, pushed, books pushed out of my arms, one time in art class when the teacher left the room a few kids took a paint brush with paint and painted my face...all the time calling me brainwashed, seedling. I can not forget that. And defend myself..how could I..I wasn't allowed to talk to them much less fight them or push them away.
And then of course I got to look forward to lunchtime with the seed monitors!! We couldn;t just eat lunch no we had to rap!!!! And if they saw me with someone other then a seedling...like maybe a new friend that wasn't a druggie it didn't matter. I was not supposed to talk with anyone!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164661
  • Karma: +3/-3
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #56 on: January 25, 2005, 01:17:00 PM »
but when I went to South Broward in Hollywood forget it. I was ridiculed, pushed, books pushed out of my arms, one time in art class when the teacher left the room a few kids took a paint brush with paint and painted my face...all the time calling me brainwashed, seedling. I can not forget that. And defend myself..how could I..I wasn't allowed to talk to them much less fight them or push them away.   ::bangin::  :grin:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline marshall

  • Posts: 180
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #57 on: January 25, 2005, 02:44:00 PM »
<"I was scared shitless. They said Oh i get it you 're not suppose to give me one and someone is probably watching right? I was pissed that they thought I was that weak and told them to fuck off. That was probably the 1st time I ever really did stand up for myself come to think about it.">

Were you pissed just because they 'thought' you were that weak or because you really were so weak. Maybe because you were doing and saying things not because it was what you really felt or thought, but what you had been taught or programmed to say by the authorities at the seed. Were you standing up for your 'self'? Or just following the instructions to be a good seedling and be what they expected? I'm not condemning you at all. I was the same way. I was weak....so weak that I went along with whatever I was told at the seed. Behaved how I was told to behave, repeated the tired canned phrases I was told to repeat.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or to coerce people along any particular path. You must climb towards the Truth. It cannot be \'stepped down\'

Offline cleveland

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 410
  • Karma: +0/-1
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #58 on: January 25, 2005, 03:12:00 PM »
Personally I was afraid to do anything wrong. I was too old for school, but back at work I was in situations where I had to say things to people. Since I worked with Seed people, I knew I was being watched as well. Since I was afraid that I would have a 'druggy attitude,' if someone made a joke about drinking or getting high, or sex, or having fun, I had to make a disapproving face and say something, like, 'personally, I think that's fucked up.' It was awful. First of all, while it's great to 'take a stand,' it sucks to do it because you think you have to. Second, life is complex, and this approach renforced that black and white thinking. Finally, it separated the world into 'us and them.'
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
ally Gator

Offline Tony Stark

  • Posts: 221
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Fresh blood
« Reply #59 on: January 25, 2005, 03:36:00 PM »
That's because Antigen suffers the human comdition. Always like some type of artificialb inteligence. Quite annoying little anti-Christ. :smokin:

Government can do something for the people only in proportion as it can do something to the people
http://laissezfairebooks.com/product.cfm?op=view&pid=FF7485&aid=10247' target='_new'> Thomas Jefferson.

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory Of the Coming Of The Lord\"