Locked in Paradise (BBC - Tranquility Bay in Jamaica)

[Anonymous]

Locked in Paradise  

Desperate US parents are sending their troublesome teenagers to tough boarding schools overseas, but many have had second thoughts when they discover just how tough these schools can be.  

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/t ... 061595.stm

Full Transcript:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/p ... radise.txt

[Nihilanthic]

I'm amazed that the only details come from those with something bad to say - the people who like the program only speak in generalities! That alone says a lot.

There is no treatment or 'love' whatsoever, the entire program is built upon destroying the child inside and breaking them down to make them totally obedient. So yes, if you become totally obedient it 'works' and you say the program works because you are TOLD to, but any underlying problems the child has remain buried.

If you feel its okay to treat children like this to break them down and call it love, then just think for a minute that if America does this in Abu Ghraib or GUANTANAMO Bay, you'd be picketing and squaking on tv.

- Thats my message to them, but I doubt it was published.

And yeah, it is sad... I've still yet to see actual therapy anywhere! The only thing anyone knows how to do is punish and try to break the childs will to make them obedient even if they have an actual problem.

I'm not trying to threadjack here but a friend of mine was molested by her stepfather, and her mother decided to deny it all. So, naturally, her self esteem, motivation, and energy have all gone south. Shes missing school and grades are slipping and all her mom can think of is taking away her internet and punishing her!

Any mom should be able to tell SOMETHING IS WRONG. Sometimes I think parents need to go somewhere to learn that they're the ones fucking up.

In war, the stronger overcomes the weaker. In business, the stronger imparts strength to the weaker.
--Frederic Bastiat

[Anonymous]

Has your friend called her local family and children's services and *told* them she is/was being molested and that her parent is neglecting to get her treated for it (which is child neglect) and asked them to *either* make her parent stop neglecting her or (if the abuse is continuing or the parent won't comply) pull her and put her in foster care?

Even if the stepfather is gone and the actual molestation has stopped, failing to get treatment is child neglect.  Her local child protective services *does* have the power to intervene.  She should phone them and ask for help.

She can talk to a teacher or counselor at school.  They are required by law, in most places, to report cases of abuse and neglect--but "supposed to" isn't always "is"---her best bet is calling child protective services herself and asking for their help in getting her safe and getting her the care she needs.

It *also* helps if she has a case file with CPS in advance, so that if mommy dearest decides to ship her off to sweep it under the rug or to let mommy stay in denial, it would be easier for another relative or responsible adult in the kid's life to go to court and seek custody.  It adds weight to the kid's story if her claims of having been molested are on file *before* she ends up shipped off somewhere----because it protects the kid from the claim, "Oh, she's just saying that to 'manipulate' her way out of the RTC."

Foster care may suck, but it sucks less badly than being molested and then left untreated--whether her parents are the Simpsons or the Rockefellers.

Timoclea

[Anonymous]

Yeh, Call Nanny 911. They'll get better advice there than from any program or Ed Con.
Seriously though, therapist should go into the home and observe reality, the dynamics of the family.
One hour appointments once a week are not going to make much of a dent when things have deteriorated so badly.

According to this article it appears that some changes have been made- they aren't suppose to use food as punishment and say that they now use mats in OP. Tiny consessions, which they were forced to make btw, that distract from the larger alledged abuses. So a kid has a mat, is it right to have them in OP for such extended periods of time? Are restraints still used as punishment for minor infractions?
I would like to hear Kay state why they didn't have mats before and how they justified using food as punishment. Not to mention, contact with parents. These and other things that would violate laws in the US.

[Nihilanthic]

Timoclea, she simply has no faith in the system in Florida.

Apparently when her dad did, and threatens to now (she is 15) beat her with a belt, thats punishment, not abuse, in florida!

Furthermore, her dad had her baker acted and thrown in some mental place drugged up so much she doesn't remember a damn thing for not wanting to speak to him.

Thankfully, right now, both parents are too broke to ship her off anywhere.

Anywho, she says CPS just thinks its a lie and doesn't want to do jack shit about it - even withstanding that this stepfather's relative (I foget which, think its his daughter!) says he's abused people before. And if her mom doesn't side with her, they're just going to do absolutely NOTHING.

She also just wants her mom to love and accept her, and if she did this shes said shes scared that her mom might hate her.

I personally think her mom can go straight to hell, but apparently that girls love for her mother is stronger than the hate for that stepdad. If I hear from her soon I'll tell her to TRY again, but she seems to think its useless.

The USA really needs to be "america" in more than name for a change. Its really hard to keep myself calm when this shit happens. :evil:

Vain are the thousand creeds that move men's hearts, unutterably vain, worthless as wither'd weeds.
--Emily Bronte

[Anonymous]

The Florida newspapers have been all over CPS like white on rice over the past few years.

The *next* thing to do if CPS won't help her is call a reporter, get him to protect her anonymity as a source, and give him an interview about how she's been molested and CPS won't protect her.

If she has to, she can shop around to multiple reporters until she finds one who believes her and realizes that this situation has "Story!!!" written all over it.

Looking up in the library the earlier newspaper articles critical of CPS in Florida and getting that reporter's byline is a good way to find a particular reporter who will not only protect her confidentiality as a source, but who *knows* how inept Florida CPS can be and will have the social conscience to be willing to advocate for your friend.

Yes, her mother may hate her---but if mom is more interested in getting laid by surreptitiously pimping her daughter out than in protecting her daughter, the mother/daughter relationship is doomed, anyway.

A mother who pimps her own daughter---and that's *exactly* what this is---is an egg donor rather than a mother anyway, and has a selfish, evil streak a mile wide.

She's probably right--the mother *will* hate the daughter for not being willing to get pimped out to get mom laid whenever mom gets lonely in bed.

Sadly, there are some very nasty people out there who nonetheless have functioning reproductive organs.

Realistically, your friend may not be able to accept that her egg donor is one such.  I'm sorry for your friend if she can't.  But if she *can* accept that bad people's gonads work, too, and that her initial bad luck doesn't mean she has to have a bad life, she'll be able to get on with her own life sooner and waste less of it on pain and regrets.

Generally speaking, when you find yourself associated with really bad people in your life, the sooner you get those people *out* of your life, the better off you'll be.

Timoclea

[Nihilanthic]

Her current plan is to stick with school and try ti get OUT in 3 years.

I'll try to tell her about this... but shes afraid of getting her situation made worse and cut off from her friends. I can't say I blame her, knowing what we know.

Getting drugged up in 'treatment' or having threats dangled over hear head by stupid family members tends to make you not trust the system.

I sure as hell know I'm glad I turned 20 wednesday, no way in hell could I be confused as a child. *shudder*

Legalizing drugs is far from a panacea for all the distress caused by drugs, but it will eliminate most of the profit and corruption from the drug trade.

--Nobel laureate, Gary S. Becker

[Anonymous]

I agree being a child is a dog.

Instead of urging your friend to work with CPS, who may be over-burdened and under-funded, can your friend move in with another family member?  

Also,  I am not sure about the Florida state laws, but many states have either a PINS or a CHINS [Child in Need od Services] provision.   A school officer, a legal guardian, or officer of the court can file a CHINS petition on behalf of a minor.  Once the petition has been appoved a P.O. [yes, Probation Officer] can get the minor services that he/she needs.   BUT, please be aware that a CHINS petition is riddled with problems.   The CHINS petition, once approved by the court, basically gives the state full custudy of the minor.  

Good luck.