Thanks for your kind words, Stina.
Yeah, i've been thinking that her parents don't sound like the most stable people (no offense) but it sucks that they're just blindly trusting the school. That's the thing that always got me, that parents just believe what comes out of the staff's mouth (people they do not know and have no logical reason to trust), not their own kid, who, though they may have been misbehaving prior to being there, is their KID, and who they've known for their entire lives.
No offense taken, I think they are unstable, too. Reality is liquid with them, and yes, I mean alcoholically liquid. Wish I could tell you the whole story, but I want to keep this anonymous. Suffice it to say that the young lady has good reasons for being pissed--pissed at her parents, pissed at the world.
The articles at the NATSAP site that are aimed at parents are quite illuminating regarding why the parents listen to the programs and not their child. In the pro-program info for parents there is repeated reinforcement of the the need to be "right and strong," and (of course) to be firm (=be a good parent) by ignoring the "lies and manipulations" of your child.
I read here somewhere an account by a former staff member. That person said that the staff prepared the parents to see their children for the first time after being enrolled, usually after several months. The staff would meet with the parents first, and walk them straight down a list of complaints and accusations they might hear from their child, and how all were lies and manipulations, and not to believe the child. Now my understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) is that a significant percentage of parents pull their children from the program at this point. Would that be the parents who still have trust in their own child? And you can see how the programs would work hard to protect their cash flow at this juncture.
I think also that my niece's parents cast themselves as
martyrs in all this.
"Poor us, look at how much we are spending--the sacrifice!"
"Poor us, everybody is against us, just as the program warned us they would be--oh, the ordeal of being righteous!"
"Poor us, look at what a perfect life we could have had if our daughter hadn't been so emotionally defective--she made our lives hell!"
"Poor us, her angry outbursts were so embarassing--we had to send her away...for her sake!"I know I've said this before, but there are plenty of emotional problems to go around in that family. They are scapegoating my niece, and it is easier to cast her as The Problem than to deal with a complex set of admittedly difficult family issues.
Auntie Em
