Author Topic: Plumb and square and etc (Read 6964 times)

Tinkerbell · « **Reply #15 on:** October 08, 2004, 11:55:00 AM »

lol..sorry i was out of it. When u graduated did u have to do post-bca agreements? Cuz i got pulled and i had to do post-bca agreements and i was wondering if graduates had to do them, as well. I hope this is clearer i am still pretty out of it.

blownawaytheidahoway · « **Reply #16 on:** October 08, 2004, 02:24:00 PM »

I suppose I was in a position that I kinda had to. yeah. actually now that I think about it, the program does encourage those that will be back with their families/parents to have agreements, but it's not a big deal at all. As for agreements with yourself...at that point it's just program mumbo jumbo because you can't expect what the world will throw at you after having NO control over your own life until that time. It doesn't even matter because any enforcement if needed would be impossible after RMA. I wanted to get along as best as possible with my folks as I had to attend high school again. That was kind of unusual in itself at the time I was interred. We had a lot of struggles since I left the program but I now see that they are mostly or at least very often involving CEDU related/created issues.
What are all of your experiences with having to return to "real world schools".
And college?

Tinkerbell · « **Reply #17 on:** October 09, 2004, 12:03:00 AM »

THANX! Umm my experiences well my mom was still the same she bsed me the whole time i was at bca same with my dad..by the way there divorced.so finally after a while i moved in with my grandparents and my older brother. Umm at BCA i had good friends but i never really trusted anyone and i was very sneaky sketchy w/e u want to call it.it was my defense mechanism to not get caught doing anythign wrong u never know when ure closest friend that held all ure dirt is gonna turn there back on u and "Cop out" so when i went to highschool like people never understood why i was always paronoid and sneaking around school do to stuff. But after a while i guess u get the hang of it i mean my hugest struggle would have to be going home and my family not trusting me at all and treating me like i was 5 cuz of BCA saying that i was probably gonna go crazy and that they were crazy for pulling me and shit. Typical! they made me do the post BCA agreements and then my brother told me that after i made them when my team was talking to my mom they told her to disregard all the agreements that she had just made w/me and to not trust me at all. How bout u i know u struggled but like anything paticular that stands out?

Anonymous · « **Reply #18 on:** October 09, 2004, 07:14:00 PM »

Thank you for sharing the stories of being accused for things that you did not do. I was placed on a full-time [or was it a table restriction] until I admitted that I stole something that I never stole.

I think that after a few weeks of not being able to talk to anyone, doing these miserable work details, and being screamed at in raps I relented and admitted to doing something that I did not. I wish I could have held out longer.

What fucking bullshit!

I was a child that needed a home, and love. I was a child molested by adults in past. I was a child that when I outed the adults in my life, money paved the way to incarcerate me. I was a powerless child left to the whims of the adults in my life.

All I have to say is ?shame on you cedu staffers?, for not stepping up to the plate and helping the children that you were hired to serve. And to the other adults that present themselves as placing a child in this small piece of hell as a way to save a child. I am sure that if there is a hell, there is a very special place for you.

blownawaytheidahoway · « **Reply #19 on:** October 11, 2004, 10:01:00 AM »

In Wordsworth's Prelude, in a lot of things that Orwell wrote about, Freud, many great essayists like Mark Twain all agree that childhood is a nightmare where you are guilty of something until you start to grow up. Born into sin. The idea that you are accused of something you didn't do or don't understand or something unnamed is a part of growing up. When it becomes part of a process of mind control the effects are bad. The long term goal of keeping you broken down and unable to think for yourself takes a lot of energy and no precision. Anything that would make someone feel bad about themselves was said. Often in the meanes way possible. The gangbang that ensued with all levels of students encouraged to play along only created more paranoia within the program's closed up community. People you thought were still "normal" weren't. Then it was you. Raps were so lame. And so very necessary to create the pecking order described here. Raps were the glue that made all the other aspects of the program gel. Nothing was safe in a rap though they always went out of their way to make you think that that was the case. Nothing was sacred. Something you may or may not have said a year ago under extreme duress (physical and mental) would be used as ammunition against you. Really out of the blue. Sometimes people would just say you did something because they confused you with another student, but you couldn't deny it. That sucked too. Also the staff treated eachother similarly though the most vulgar lies and exchanges were reserved for struggling students.
mofo's.

CEDU IS A CULT · « **Reply #20 on:** October 11, 2004, 01:48:00 PM »

Check out Kafka's "The Trial."

blownawaytheidahoway · « **Reply #21 on:** May 27, 2005, 08:52:00 AM »

Quote

On 2004-10-07 07:37:00, blownawaytheidahoway wrote:

"Ok. This will be hard.

Being accused of something you didn't do at a place like this can be VERY stunting.

Not being believed for telling the truth and being punished for not admitting to something false (copping out) is so low.

It happened to me: I was accused of carrying on a homosexual relationship or something of that sort based on the false testimonial from someone who will not remain nameless very long.

<

I take the risk my identity will be exposed for this thread and its contents for redemption! For long awaited closure. Justice, honor and TRUTH. For someone to say " damn, I remember that! After ALL that! Shit, that sucks for you". I reveal these painful memories so someone can say " I remember that feeling, I know how you feel". And maybe they even do a little bit...

And so, I've never had fulfilled the ancient code of JUSTICE which allows me to face my accuser.

Until now.

HERE I AM.

So, that's why

Anonymous · « **Reply #22 on:** May 27, 2005, 01:32:00 PM »

Good for you, Blown. Takes alot of courage to face certain demons from the past. I am usually against naming names, but you have every right in this case to name her. If she has any honor at all, she will take responsibility for her lies and cowardice, and step forward to publicly apologize. I'm not sure I follow how you determined that there is evidence that she is around here, but I hope that she is, so she can set things straight for both of you. If she has any integrity, she should feel shame and remorse over her actions years ago.

blownawaytheidahoway · « **Reply #23 on:** May 27, 2005, 08:56:00 PM »

That's what I think.
If she wasn't here before, I'll bet one of her little sisters has made contact. I would if someone was talking shit about me or one one of mine.

Believe it or not, it actually feels good to have gotten that off my chest. I don't feel, however, the same emotional response to this person as I do to the "facilitators" of certain raps during this time. I still think Bruce IS...bad. My experience.

Anonymous · « **Reply #24 on:** June 19, 2005, 08:11:00 PM »

yeah, i had to deal with the same shit for 3 weeks, because i found something that some one lost, but i held out, only after dealing with all the intaragating from those fucks, they tryed to play games with my head and once the place shut down the person that stole the dam thing coped out. now aint that a real bitch.
o ya PS. fuck cedu :smile:

Anonymous · « **Reply #25 on:** June 19, 2005, 08:21:00 PM »

WELL I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY BUT I REALY GOTA GET THIS OUT, FUCK MOON, FUCK SKIP, I DIDNT DO IT AND I THINK BOTH OF YOU HAVE SMALL DICKS AND LIKE TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER NAKED IN MIRRORS, AND I BET EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS GONA DO SHITY OUTSIDE OF CEDU, BUT HEY I WORK AT CHUCKEY CHEESE AND AM DOING VERY WELL(THAT MEANS IM GETING PAID MORE $ THAN YOU DID)SO, HA!
O YA PS. TO WHOME EVER IS READING THIS, DRUGS ARE BAD AND PLEASE USE A CONDUM

dniceo7 · « **Reply #26 on:** June 21, 2005, 05:52:00 PM »

chucky cheese? mad props to you[ This Message was edited by: dniceo7 on 2005-06-21 14:52 ]

blownawaytheidahoway · « **Reply #27 on:** April 11, 2006, 08:52:00 AM »

read the book!

Troll Control · « **Reply #28 on:** April 11, 2006, 09:27:00 AM »

This is an all too familiar tactic in programs. The technique is derived from police interrogation tactics. It's very simple and it goes like this:

You have an idea (no proof, just a gut feeling) that the subject acted in a way inconsistent with the program. You sit the subject down and begin to forcefully accuse him/her of something FAR WORSE than you suspect he/she had done. This accusation must be very forceful and convincing for the tactic to yield results.

The subject at first vehemently denies the strident accusation and the interrogator responds with statements like "This is serious and you're going down for it whether you say you did it or not."

After a few rounds of this, hopelessness is induced in the subject and the will to resist ebbs.

Eventually the subject will "cop to" a series of "lesser offenses" (that he/she may or MAY NOT have committed) just to get the interrogation to stop. Sometimes, if the interrogator is especially effective and the subject particularly weak, the subject will "confess" to the prevaricated accusation even though he/she knows full well that they didn't do it (and so does the interrogator).

This scenario is played and replayed daily in kiddie jails accross the country.

It really is sickening that adults use this kind of power-play on children ill equipped to defend against it.

blownawaytheidahoway · « **Reply #29 on:** April 11, 2006, 09:35:00 AM »

yeah. and what really fans my fire is that I was punished for being truthful. mofos.

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