Why'd ya hit people?

[Sophie]

I posted something similar somewhere else, but it seems befitting for a thread all its own.

For those that "misbehaved"... why did you hit people that were sitting next to you?  I was overage and often got stuck sitting next to angry/scared children who liked to punch.  I suppose they put me there because they didn't think I'd hit back.  I never did hit back and didn't provoke anyone else, come to think of it I made it all 13 months without ever restraining anyone...

Anyway, I am trying to put this to rest... why did you hit people sitting next to you?

[kpickle39]

The only people that I hit were the mutherfuckers that were sitting on me and restraining me on the cold, hard painful concrete floor in St. Pete.

[misbehaver]

I fought the program any way I could. If that meant busting a few jaws, so be it. It also felt GOOD to hurt the same assholes that starved and beat me daily. I looked at the upper phasers as the enemy; listening to them rattle off about their days off while I'm wearing filthy clothes and hungry. The weak conformed, while I spent over 6 months on 1st phase. Some of those idiots were in Straight for years; I did 7 months.

Sophie, why'd ya sign yourself in at 19??? Jason

[Sophie]

I fear the repercussions of the angry masses...BUT... I signed myself in because my life was out of control and I was a total disaster.  I made a list of 6 rehabs and called them all on a Friday nite.  The only one who answered was Straight.  I was there the next morning at 10:00.

[animals all of us]

My moms could not afford to supervise us or afford a babysitter.  So, when we started dressing funny and running around the 'hood and skipping school, she stuck us in Straight.  

After about two years of training to violate myself, get molestedc, and also harm lots of others in all the heinous ways you remember, I basically became like an animal.  And the staff knew that my eighteenth birthday would be soon.  Eventually they just stop setting me back even when I would admit on fourth and fifth phases that I wasn't sure I was an addict.  I would hit and restrain misbehavors and confront the shit out of people even though I was 'lieing' or w/e about all kinds of good stuff.  

I would take long walks during school cos I was so fucked up in my head and couldn't think about school.  I used to flirt w/ the ladies alot at school during my public school days @ Straight.  I took an extra half a week on my fifth phase vacation. I guess everyone felt like I didn't really need to be there, or maybe they sensed that I was fucked up somehow - worse than what I was supposed to be there for. I guess part of the reason I got so violent was b/c of being molested in there. I maintained my phases.  I would get in host home fights with first phasers and learned to really confront people and step on their feet and spit on em.  I was a real nut job.  After such a long time, you just running out of shit to write in your MIs.  Alot of times the staff would call in MIs so on fifth phase I would have to make up some of the ones that I started missing weeks before.  Staff stopped sending phasers to my host home for awhile because I would let them all cop out, no shit. Anyway, what a nice ride that was. thanks, ma.

Now, the real hard part is coming up out of that.  When you don't have a family to turn to after Straight, nor counseling and all that shit, well, you guessed it - you wind back up in other institutions. Jail, juve, probation, school office, jobless, etc, etc.  And not many people like you cos you know they know you want to hit em and spit on em and restrain em cos they're acting against some subconsciously placed ideals, but I didn't realize I was doing it.

Thanks again, ma.[ This Message was edited by: animals all of us on 2004-09-09 20:00 ]

[Trekker Jag]

The only people I hit were those that were fucking with me-- poking me in the ribs when I wouldn't motivate, digging their knuckles in my back to try to make me sit up, shit like that.  My favorite tactic was to start motivating and then elbow them in the jaw-- it was sweet revenge more than twice.  I didn't go for just randomly swinging at whoever was around.  There were so many dickheads that deserved a punch or an elbow, or a kick to the groin, it seemed pointless to hit someone at random.

 


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Miller & Mel--Burn in Hell[ This Message was edited by: Trekker Jag on 2004-09-10 09:53 ]