Author Topic: The seed tears apart families  (Read 1313 times)

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Offline GregFL

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The seed tears apart families
« on: August 05, 2002, 10:59:00 PM »
Today I talked to a lady whom brother had been involved with the Seed for 25 years and he still won't talk to her..and she is still upset by the divide caused by the program.

Today my sister and I had to rehash a very uncomfortable piece of our history, our 5 to 10 years or so post seed where our relationship suffered the most. What caused our suffering relationship? It had a lot to do with me, being suspicious of her because she had developed a relationship with my father. My father in my mind represented the program, even more so than Art Barker. He was now bragging to all about wonderfull new drug rehab he helped start, Straight, Inc.  I didn't realize she was struggling to make her relationship with him work and had her own issues with him. Frankly, I didn't even think about her issues because I was so wrapped up in my own pain.
Ultimately, it was the program and the cultism of the Seed which hurt our relationship. It took years and years to rebuild the trust we lost to the program which we did with no help from anyone else. The past several years has seen us grow to understand each other even more, but we were both robbed of each other when each other was all we had.  
The program wrecks families, and that truly sucks.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline MommaDebi

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The seed tears apart families
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2002, 04:21:00 PM »
Isn't it strange that in the name of "love","saving the children" and "family harmony" our parents made the decision to place their children in such an emotionally abusive situation???

I believe that this decision harmed many families, in ways that are common to us all. Many parents lost any trust and respect that they might have earned as the child matured.
 
I, myself, did not see my mother for about 10 years following my release. I still do not trust her,as everytime I give her the "benefit of the doubt" she ends up screwing me again. So currently I just stay clear of her. It constantly amazes me that my son still likes me! Seems much more normal to me that children grow up and do not want to be around their families, because that is how I grew up. I have waiting for him to decide he does not like me since he was 13.... :smile:

Many siblings lost the ability to bond with each other as adults.I am happy to hear that at least your sister is willing to go through the difficult process required to rebuild your relationship.

You said"The past several years has seen us grow to understand each other even more, but we were both robbed of each other when each other was all we had. The program wrecks families, and that truly sucks."
 I think somehow the Seed wins...if the damage done to our families is not repaired. I don't want the Seed to beat me any longer.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh...\" {Indigo Girls~~ \"The Watershed\"}

Offline CHAR

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The seed tears apart families
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2002, 10:47:00 PM »
I never worked things out with my mom. Before she died I would not answer the phone when I knew it was her calling, however the guilt over her being a single parent and "doing the best she could" would get to me and I would visit her when I could get away (convenient for me, I lived far away). I don't know if we ever would have worked things out when she was alive. When I would talk with my therapist and tell her about the things my mom had done I would always tack on at the end "she did the best she could". My therapist used to say "Why do you keep making excuses for her? If the situation you lived through existed today she would be arrested for child abuse" and she was right. I would never excuse that behavior if anyone else did it. So I have at least finally accepted that for the most part. She should not have had a child. She even told me so when I was older. At least she realized it for herself and perhaps that was why we could never talk. We both knew the truth but couldn't say it because of the parental bond. She felt guilty and I was too angry for words.

And if I had come to these realizations when she was alive I still do not know what I would have done. Maybe if I had been more aware of what really had gone on all those years, seeing it through my therapists' eyes, before she got sick, when she was still strong and healthy, maybe I would have forced a conversation to get it all out and let the chips fall where they may. It probably would have been better than the hurt she felt knowing I was avoiding her. I really don't know. I do know one thing though. I don't make excuses for anyone anymore. If I and countless other people in this world who have been through hell and back can treat people with kindness and respect then there is no excuse for anyone to be a jerk. I have accepted the fact that if my mother had wanted to be a kinder person she could have done so through whatever means helped her and she chose not to. And there is no excuse for that.

Have a good day tomorrow everyone. We all deserve the best life has to offer.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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The seed tears apart families
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2002, 05:44:00 PM »
greg

I agree, after 1 of my brothers was made senior staff, he stopped talking to my parants for about 20 years or more, til just last august when my brother Den told him it was enough, den was senior staff to, he worked up in ft pierce, my other brother went to ohio i think, remember ohio? how about the hanger in miami, one of mine and my bothers closest friends was senior staff to, terry, I loved terry, havn't seen him for years, saw him last working for a jewlery chain, what a great guy.
gotta go, the wifes on her way, and I gotta feed the dogs, but this is so great, i absolutely love it, i've been wanting to talk about this shit for years.
M
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline GregFL

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The seed tears apart families
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2002, 06:24:00 PM »
Welcome to our forum!!!
This forum belongs to all of us survivors of the Seed. It is as much your discussion forum now as mine.
When you get a few minutes, we would much appreciate to hear a little about your experiences. Yes, I know about Ft. Pierce and Ohio. I think both of them were pretty big failures.
Can't wait to hear more from you!.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline MommaDebi

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The seed tears apart families
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2002, 07:09:00 PM »
welcome...  :smile:
debi
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh...\" {Indigo Girls~~ \"The Watershed\"}