I am not a parent, but clearly you have a tough choice in front of you. I assume that you sent your daughter to BCA as reaction to real challenges she was facing in her life. Taking her out of BCA will not alleviate those challenges, but I believe that by forcing her to remain at BCA her challenges will only increase for the reasons listed in previous posts.
I do not believe that BCA is a good placement for any one. As a past student it is clear to me, that BCA accepts such a wide range of students that there is no way that the program can met the needs of all students. Improving one's mental health is not a one-size-fits all proposition.
I'd like to imagine that if I were a parent who was concerned about my child at BCA I'd do the following:
1. Take a long weekend off from work and show-up at BCA unannounced. I'd arrive in town on Wednesday night, and show up at BCA on Thursday in time for first light.
2. I'd ask to participate in all the activities that my child participates in. You are the customer. If you are denied the ability to see what your child partakes in on a daily basis that should raise some serious concerns. You sound like a very strong person, but be prepared for some hard-core pushback. Sure you will disrupt BCA activities by your being there, but you have every right to see what your daughter is going through. It would be great if every parent had an opportunity to have a first hand experience of the BCA rituals.
3. While you are at the school on Thursday and Friday, talk to other students. Talk with new comers, and the students who have been there longer. Do not let them tell their story, but rather question their beliefs. Do the beliefs, as the students purport, seem to be hallow? i.e. if some a student says something like I believe that love is life and that fear is death. Ask them what they mean by that statement. Ask them how that belief and or statement is manifested in their life. If this seems strange to you -- its because it is weird. This is the type of stuff your daughter will learn or has learned. The BCA experience is filled with Rhetoric that pushes disassociation rather than real understanding.
4. Attend a rap. In the middle of a rap -- ask the students if the rap that you are in is like all the other raps that they attend. If you get into a rap, since the school pushes absolute 'so-called' honesty you should get some very interesting answers.
5. I'd also do a bit research before going up to BCA. If you decide that BCA is not the best environment for your child, where are you going to bring her next? Can she come home? If not, what are the other options? If there is a lead-time on the other options where can she stay in the interim? Can your daughter be a part of the team evaluating what her next steps will be?
6. On Friday night, I?d take my daughter back to the hotel to spend the rest of the weekend. Expect pushback here too. Again you are the customer, and this is your child. You have every right to spend unsupervised time with your child. Just so we are clear, the concept of AMA [Against Medical Advise] is not applicable to BCA. An MD will not strongly advocate for you not to spend one-on-one time with your child.
While you are with your child try to figure out, if it is possible, what the two of you should do as a team to help her get to a better place emotionally.
Maybe, BCA is the right choice. I'd be very surprised if it is the right choice. The whole concept of behavior modification does not address the underlying catalyst of the behavior.
In closing, I urge you to pull your daughter out of BCA. But first go to the school spend sometime at the school, so you are making the decision from first-hand knowledge.
