In 1995, exactly 10 years after my admittance to Straight, my life finally crumbled. It had been a Helluva Ride.
This is one of the Poems I wrote dealing with "Those" years.
To give into Loneliness,
Is to give into Darkness...
To give into Darkness is Terrifying,
For then the walls come down!
Like a dark curtain being drawn back,
The scenes going on are scenes from my shallow non-productive life...
Nothing to show for, nothing new being shown
Through the mist and the darkness, I try!
I try hard, to reach out only to find more rejection.
Once again my feelings and emotions aren't needed here or now.
To be able to hide them away the many costumes and masks-
Another mask- another act.
A star was born a long time ago,
only now diminishing and fading out.....
No more applause only blank cold stares,
Imagine That!
No warmth no welcome, once again not needed by an adult.
Only children to peform for, to entertain.
Someday, hopefully I'll stand out front,
To accept the applause and the compliments,
To believe what I am being told...
To be wanted not refused-
To be liked not lied to-
To be understood not Used-
To be explored not exploited-
To be me...
Not a sorry excuse for an Actress.
Christi Strickland 1995
Springfield Straight 85-86
[ This Message was edited by: CStrickland on 2004-03-18 06:11 ]
