On 2004-02-24 14:14:00, Mamma Bird wrote:
"
That being said, churches can do good things and coming together to try and tap into what is beautiful and good in the world is certainly not inherently bad. To each their own, live and let live.
Morli, your nephew and your family will be in my thoughts. I know how scary this is and am glad you are all pulling together, you need each other at times like this. Please keep us updated.
Erin"
Thanks Erin and Anonymous,
You know, I'm right there with a lot of you. I used to vow to never step foot into a church, or group for that matter. I couldn't even go to a Mary Kay meeting last summer for my husband?s sister! But I'll tell ya, I have changed. I realized that I think too much about what I don't like, and what's gone
wrong in my life. I spend too much time feeling sad for things I have no control over, and angry at things that I can't go back and change. Having unity in a family is something I've never had. I lay in bed just this morning, crying about being 13, and having to spend 18 months of my life in the first prison camp, being so young, having lost all my education because of being in straight also. After discussing my daughter's behavior last night with my husband this morning, and thinking about how different our lives are. Doesn't take much to trigger my sadness. Then I stopped, and I thought about what I have now, realized it's never over, and that the future is now.
I'm even speaking to my mother again, and yes, she is a bible banging freak, but she's my mom. She regrets mistakes in the past just as much as I do. I accept her, I love her. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but it was something I needed to get past, in order to heal from. As for God, well, he's always been a big question mark. I pray, and wonder if
I even believe I'm praying to anything at all. But recently I've been thinking about how nice it is to think that through all these years of pain, the praying may have carried me over to where I am now. The other side. I am fortunate, and should be happy, but I've kept myself from being happy with my own stubborn resistance, or have I just been lazy? Either way. change is possible, it's always possible.
My goal in life now, is to think more about others, to be "a part" of my husband's family. To feel closer to them, and in return, closer to my own heart. I have made so many poor choices in friendships, and relationships in my life, and have been disappointed, and/or burned because of it. I want to be precise in my thinking, and I want to make the right choices for my health, well being, and the well being of my family. I want to be a good mommy, and a good wife. I'm not saying by tomorrow I'll be a born again Christian or anything, and I'm not saying choosing to do anything is
because of Christianity, but I will definitely have a more open mind, and an open heart. I mean, I
have only been there once so far. :wink:
My nephew's surgery was rescheduled due to insurance coverage complications. March 18th.
Morli
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of it's victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busy-bodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those that torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0802808689/circleofmianithem' target='_new'> C.S. Lewis, God In The Dock