That is so hysterical! We used to feed the groundhogs french fries. There is this area in Manchester by a big parking lot where they burrow and live.
I used to always stop for turtles in the road and pick them up and put them in the grass in the direction they were heading.
Then one day I was crossing a bridge and there was this huge turtle that looked almost pre-historic. His shell had like spikes on it almost. So I picked him up and his neck popped out like what seemed 8 inches and he hissed really loud at me and tried to bite me. Well, needless to say it scared the shit out of me and I jumped and screamed and dropped him back on the pavement. I felt terrible that I dropped him when I was there to save him. So I probably said something to him like, "I'm only trying to get you out of the road." So I picked him back up and he did the same thing, only worse. He nearly reached far enough to get my hand and this time his hiss was more like a growl and his claws got my leg. And, regretfully, I dropped him back on the pavement. But I did manage to scoot him into the grass with my foot.
I only pick up small turtles now.