I became that monster.
I was taught that I would not be able to earn freedom if I didn't earn it by yelling at others. I moved up on my levels by counseling others without a license, that is to say that I broke the US laws about counseling minors.
I was told that to restrain my peers was good. And hey, we all were. Shit, we weren't just taught by words - we were MADE to do those atrocious fucking things by Example and by Force and by Tricks and Authoritarian Rule.
We were made to stay out of school, cut our hair, tell lies, be lame, and help others do the exact same goddamn things.
Normally I do not speak for others. But here in these forums I can safely say that this time its okay.
I have, a couple of times, posted the names of those oldcomers who I would love to fuck up on the street. These cats, I have seen them around, are like three times my size now cos we were allowed to take Creatine in the program when working out. Still though, their size is not an issue and would not keep me from hurting them if they tried to prankst today.
I agree with both sides. Fuck that dead dude, fuck him all the way to hell and into fire and nothingness, fuck him if he caused harm.
On the other side of the same token I can say that it is not right to hate on someone who went through the same shit.
Hey, I am just now bringing up this shit in my life, all the days of childhood neglect that people exacted on me. I have had Every trick in the book played on me since I was young, I don't know many here who can say they haven't experienced the same things. I am just now getting to really talk about this shit. I am conscious.
And, guess what, its with the most unlikely therapists you would expect to be around to see me go back through the shit. Its with a bunch of people I can't really say I want to know here.
I'm protesting with a bunch of people who, thirteen years ago - woulda eaten me for lunch and called it therapeutic. I'm talking with and yelling with and being invited to eat with survivors who, thirteen years ago, would have kicked my little fucking ass and told me it was therapeutic. Imagine how uncomfortable and fucking surreal that feels. Yet, I am thankful that there are those who are further along in their healing than myself. I still act 'over the top' when it comes to this kind of shit.
However, if I knew then what I know now - I could say with certainty again that we, ALL of us, who post here would be doing everything in our power to end this dead person's suffering as a result of concentration camps and ending all the trickery that was judgementally layed upon us to him ago.