When I was hired as a weekend counselor in 1994 I was so stoked. They were actually going to pay me to play Hacky Sack, lead hikes, chop wood, and generally entertain a bunch of very cool kids not too distant in age from myself.
I had demons of my own that needed to be left behind, and Cascade offered me a great place to regroup.
On my first day, in the dining hall, an older kid asked me if I was a psychologist. I said "no," he said, "good."
That moment motivated me for the next 3 1/2 years. I never fully bought into the program. And I caught a bunch of heat for it. But at the same time I was one of the most respected staffers precisely BECAUSE I didn't buy into the the thing 100%.
I did what I did because I cared. Some of my kids will rememer me telling them, "Hey, I ain't perfect, none of these people are. Life's a bitch and here's what I can do to help you avoid hitting some of the speedbumps along the way. That's about it."
My forums were perrenial favorites because I almost never went in with an agenda. If you wanted to work, fine. If no one had anything to do or say, I'd tell jokes and poke fun until someone had something worth talking about. There's nothing wrong with having a little fun while you're doign tough work.
I still approach life that way.
Now, for the good part. Life at Cascade was grueling. It was as physically and emotionally draining on me as it was my kids. It's not work you left behind at the end of the day. We had to work our shit out on our own and that often meant heavy binge drinking. It was hard, man sometimes it was hard.
I was 23 when I was hired. Oftentimes I was treated by my bosses like one of their kids. I actually was threatened with bans once or twice (remember that Carl?). Bjerke told my jeans were imagey one time. I can laugh at this stuff now, because it really doesn't matter and never really did.
We'd fret and fume over stupid administrative decisions and we'd go ahead and do it our way. We were smart enough to know how to rock the boat just enough without tipping it over and falling out of it.
There was a time or two when I thought my brain was going to explode. When you're overwhelmed you seek out advice, right? Well after trying once or twice, I learned not to trust the founders of the school with my soul. I worked for them, they paid me, I did a good job, and that was it. I'm not comfortable going into detail about it, but I'd be happy to share my point of view if you feel like listening some time. (
hauler_us@yahoo.com)
Us young punks had to earn our respect and we did it by being good counselors. Treating our kids with dignity, not blindly following inane directions and NEVER, EVER compromising our standards. That meant establishing good physical boundaries on-campus and not compromising our values off-campus. Anyone surprised that the place started to change for the worse when me, Mundorff, Mahoney and others quit?
Anyhow... that's a long enough rant. I'm all fired up now and going to kick one of my old students ass in poker at the bar around the corner.
It's been nice finding you all here, and I wish you didn't have to carry so many painful memories. I prefer to dwell on the highlights, like watching the look in a kids face after running 5 miles at the end of their trek, or seeing a mean, nasty, snotfaced, angry young boy learn the simple pleasure of flying a kite, or watching a tiny young girl race to the top of the climbing wall on her first try and then demand to do it again, or sitting with friends and watching a yearling Osprey learn to fish in the pond, or planting 10 acres of Shasta Daisies.
I got a ton of touchy-feely moments like those and THAT'S the stuff I hang on to. Try it sometime. You'll feel better once you do.
Don't worry, karma will catch up to the assholes who earned it, and bitchslap them like an eight-armed Hindu goddess. (laugh all you want... you know I'm right)
:cool: Peas y'all,
"Blondie"
