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Offline Therion

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« on: January 07, 2004, 10:06:00 AM »
Was wondering...Since Black Tar is easier to kick than methadone..How much I would need to come off 170 mg per day Methadone habit?
 At the moment I can not feel a $100 dollar shot at all.(Thats alot of dope..I have seen first time users turn sickly green and hit the floor puking on half a $20)
 Methadone is a 6 week hellride and I dont think my body..mind or soul can handle it ...again..
 But I have noone that can watch me and meter out dope to me so I dont go crazy (I laugh picturing myself trying to "ween off" with a 9 gram chunk of tar in the closet)

Was thinking mabey I could just start dropping over 90 days..10 mg a week would bring me to 50 mg which is just below a blocking dose..

Has anyone tried this with any success?
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Offline Therion

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« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2004, 10:12:00 AM »
Also ...I dont remember any coming in sick ...but how did Straight deal with opiate withdrawls?
 Cold turkey ? Did they just give them a puke bucket and let the other phasers try to sleep with the people screaming and crying and puking?
(when I kicked in jail I got shuffled from cell to cell till I finally got my own as noone wanted the junky kicking in their cell)
I remember my bloodpressure went thru the roof..im 6 foot 2" tall and weighed 109 pounds...
gogo smack and Marlboro diet
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Offline kaydeejaded

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« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2004, 12:04:00 PM »
Dude! no one came in to beat that habit though as hard core fucked up as the Straighlings all were supposed to be I never saw it.

and Darlin do not do it that way. I don't know what way to do it but not going back to shooting up. What if you get a bad batch? What if you miss a vein again? od?

ok no. Bad idea.

Is there anyway you can do that program where they knock you out totally and detox you while you are unconscious?

Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its
best state is but a necessary evil ---in its worst state an
intolerable one; for when we suffer, or are exposed to the same
miseries by a government, which we might expect in a country without
government, our calamities is heightened by reflecting that we
furnish the means by which we suffer!


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Offline Therion

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« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2004, 03:17:00 PM »
No that is very expensive.I forget the exact price but its thousands and thousands

I may just have to do a year long slow detox.
I just feel like Im not getting anywhere...I have been clean from all hard drugs for like around a year or so this time..
 Actually I was clean about 5 years..then used for 1 year...and have been clean and on mmt another year. Im so out of the loop it would be a hassle to find even if I wanted to use..
I would feel like a loser if I stay on MMT forever. And its hard to hide from people..They dont really say anything but I know what people think about mmt patients. They see me as a junky..I mean..theres only one thing its prescribed for in the US..I have heard of one persons father "supposedly" getting a script of 10s for pain, but thats just what someone claimed in a post I read on the internet..

But then i also worry about how i am going to function on my own without it. Sounds easy while the methadone is working in my blood...no cravings...no withdrawl

Man i have the most messed up life right now..
I swear, every area of my life is screwed up and I dont know where to start...

 No Im not asking for sympathy ..lol that does me no good...but Straight people give good advice..one of the few positives we all got from it. Program people have a very effective way of attacking problems etc. Actually some of the Straight program could have been a really good thing if they would have approached the way they taught it diffrently..'

Back to MMT thing..Plus I feel tired all the time and it has affected my ability to be productive and hold a job.That is probably the main reason I need to quit. Not to mention the cost.Just what I spend on MMT and cigarettes would be a nice car payment and most of my rent per month.

       Nap time....


[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2004-01-07 12:19 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2004, 03:32:00 PM »
Therion, I will meter out your dope for you. I am about to leave and I'll stop by your house and collect all your dope. Then when you need it just give me a call and I'll bring you a dose. :idea:
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Offline Therion

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« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2004, 12:52:00 AM »
:roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:
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Offline Therion

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« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2004, 10:05:00 AM »
Bahaha.. :flame:  The nurse told me.."You are doing so good, why would you want to detox now?"
She sent me to the "counsellor" who is just a total fucking moron..this fucking dude..well nm
hes really irrelivant..
 But he basically doesnt think its a good idea either..Not that hed know a good idea if it hit him in the head..Hes been down there for a year
and any time I try to talk to him about opiates he starts relating his gay fucking "I used to sell cocaine..Im qualified to understand you" story.
 Which makes him qualified for jack shit. Does cocaine make you fucking crawl to the toilet every morning till ya get a shot? NOzerz d00dr...KKTHXSHTTHEFUCKUPLATHX~
 Im gonna stand him up in the methadone clinic and rip his ass for being FOS about his past..
for one thing hes too goddamned fat to be a coke head..
 Well anyways nm.....DRVTHRUPLZ~
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Offline Froderik

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« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2004, 10:34:00 AM »
Quote
I'm gonna stand him up in the methadone clinic and rip his ass for being FOS about his past..

 :rofl: I double-dare you! And please..if you do it, get someone to videotape it!  :lol:
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Offline Therion

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« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2004, 10:40:00 AM »
Hehe no I cant. Im on good standing down there...Im a "model patient"

He does suck though...no help at all..thats why our fucking death rate is so high down there.

We just lost another on X mas eve..she was only 35 and had 3 little kids too :scared:  :scared:
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Offline ehm

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« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2004, 08:15:00 PM »
you need to get them to start weening you. i had them ween me down to 10mg a day and i was still shooting. i writhed and puked, screamed and wailed for 8 days without sleep until i could get back home and cop. i chipped for two months before i gave it up completely. i had to move away from where i was at home, and start over. it was fucking hard, and i was miserable, and i started drinking pretty heavily for like three years... but here i am, six years later, and all i do is drink the occasional/rare beer, and smoke bud. anxiety kicks my ass all the time, but i get better each year.

very best of luck to you,  ::kiss::

morli

for it is a truth, which the experience of all ages has attested, that the people are commonly most in danger when the means of insuring their rights are in the possession of those of whom they entertain the least suspicion.    
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Offline ehm

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« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2004, 08:22:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-01-08 07:05:00, Therion wrote:

"

 Bahaha.. :flame:  The nurse told me.."You are doing so good, why would you want to detox now?"

She sent me to the "counsellor" who is just a total fucking moron..this fucking dude..well nm

hes really irrelivant..

 But he basically doesnt think its a good idea either..Not that hed know a good idea if it hit him in the head..Hes been down there for a year

and any time I try to talk to him about opiates he starts relating his gay fucking "I used to sell cocaine..Im qualified to understand you" story.

 Which makes him qualified for jack shit. Does cocaine make you fucking crawl to the toilet every morning till ya get a shot? NOzerz d00dr...KKTHXSHTTHEFUCKUPLATHX~

 Im gonna stand him up in the methadone clinic and rip his ass for being FOS about his past..

for one thing hes too goddamned fat to be a coke head..

 Well anyways nm.....DRVTHRUPLZ~"


yeah, i had to lie to my counselor. for some reason, they don't want you to kick/quit your dose. if you really have someplace to go, and someone to perhaps help you, then tell them you are going into treatment out of state. tell them it's a hospital that a friend of yours that is helping you found. tell them that this person is taking care of all the details, and give them a date you need to be down to a low enough dose. then, the rest is up to you... your decisions.

The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.
--William Safire

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Offline ehm

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« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2004, 08:34:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-01-07 07:06:00, Therion wrote:

"

 Was wondering...Since Black Tar is easier to kick than methadone..How much I would need to come off 170 mg per day Methadone habit?

 At the moment I can not feel a $100 dollar shot at all.(Thats alot of dope..I have seen first time users turn sickly green and hit the floor puking on half a $20)

 Methadone is a 6 week hellride and I dont think my body..mind or soul can handle it ...again..

 But I have noone that can watch me and meter out dope to me so I dont go crazy (I laugh picturing myself trying to "ween off" with a 9 gram chunk of tar in the closet)



Was thinking mabey I could just start dropping over 90 days..10 mg a week would bring me to 50 mg which is just below a blocking dose..



Has anyone tried this with any success?"


i did that successfully. granted, i was only shooting a quarter to a half per day, and my highest dose i ever let them give to me was 60mg. it was at 60mg that i insisted they stop. they refused to decrese my dose until i told them i was going into treatment.

and i did it, after they agreed, i watched the weeks go by in terror for what i knew was ahead.finally, at 10mg, i bought a 50 piece and a bus ticket to a friends house in another state. i told the rest in a post before this one.  :smokin:

I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I'm a human being first and foremost, and as such I am for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole

--Malcolm X

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Offline Therion

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« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2004, 09:33:00 AM »
No they dont want you to quit..and its not the money either..counsellor and nurse see jack shit...hourly wage is all...

What it is...and they wont come out and say it..but if they did their words would be something likethis "Why do you want to detox? As soon as you do, you will go right back on the needle, this is your last hope, its this or the gutter"
 But of course they cant come out and tell you that.
 I have kicked off the done twice and off heroin probably 12 or 13 times..but Im trying to get better method this time.
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Offline ehm

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« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2004, 10:40:00 AM »
that's why you have to lie to them, i'm sorry, but they will always say that. i just did it. like nike and shit. i know that sounds fucking gay, but it had to be done. i kicked myself for three years after quitting for even starting doing it in the first place. it's taken almost all six years for finally stop feeling guilt and shame for being a junkie at all... it's so hard. i'm not going to lie. the first 6 months completely clean from opiates, clear from kicking, i had no energy. i could barely force myself to do anything, but drink...*sigh* sorry, it doesn't sound that great, you feel like a bigger bum, because you are not "well" anymore. i didn't know what i was, i started keeping a journal. i was little miss dress in black at the back of the coffeeshop writing. hungover, yet needing public for distraction from my ever grinding nerves. did a lot of journalizing those first two years off the "stuff."  :nworthy:

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
-- Plutarch

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Offline Therion

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« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2004, 12:16:00 AM »
Nah I dont really feel guilty though..
 I mean I like heroin...and see nothng wrong with liking it..its just too fucking expensive...

If methadone was free Id take it forever..
See I was always one of those people that constantly wanted to get laid..but opiates just kill my interest in sex..so I dont have to constantly...take chicks out...spend money on them..have drawn out fucked up relationship...well anyway. The need for sex...and relationships has given me just as much mental anguish as Straight or Heroin.. :wave:  :wave:  :wave:

 And I know as soon as I kick..Ill be back in that "I need a girlfriend " mode again. :roll:  :roll:
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