Why do I post anonymously
I am certain this topic might have been discussed in earlier posts before I ever came onto this site. If it has, well, here it is again.
Several survivors do know who I am by way of phone calls and survivor convention and other. I feel the need to post without giving up my legal name because of several reasons.
Those who do see my little posts or replies or 'spam' may think 'it would be cool to put a name to the words' or something like that, I can say that it hasn't been easy, like many others probably feel, to speak about these sour emotions and the horrific and traumatic abuses that go with those feelings. I sense that these feelings are NOT who I am, and I know that before Straight Incorporated I was someone entirely different, someone more capable of easier maturing and self education. Hell, if I didn't need to talk about this shit I wouldn't come here at all probably.
Sometimes I am paranoid, which is totally okay, and wish I hadn't met any survivor and given my legal name. This is not because finding others who have had similar experiences is good for me. It is a gut reaction sense that perhaps wonders if any of us who do come here are against, or hindering in some ways, a revolution that everyone knows is eventually going to cause our perpetrators to have to fully pay for their actions. I am certain that I, and you, would want to protect this goal of reparation and punition from any hinderances.
As I look back on this post I see how silly being anonymous really is. What was the first and most important rule
Hey, its no secret by now - I WISH my enemies death. I have cried at times when I think of myself taking on the roles of what others have done to me. I understand most easily that Yes, I am better than they are. I am no child molester. I am no murderer. I am responsible for my misconducts.
I would not incarcerate anyone for three years of their life without serious provocation to do so and especially not on the say so of other's myths or need to have 'group think' pressure.
So, obviously the main issue is trust. Then, in a more lightened manner, I ask me - what the fuck do I care if someone comes to this site and sees sincerely what I wrote about M. Sembler and his husband Betty; or that I have not been able, yet, to fully forgive and move on from my parents and their misinterpretations.
Where does all their responsibility end and where does mine begin
Well, I think it comes from talking about it all. I suppose one can't take credit for something without taking credit for all of it. That's like saying that you ran a very succesful national institution that housed 50,000 or more children back twenty years ago and then used it on your resume', and then tried not to take on the full gamit of the professional elusive fallacy of a succesful, abusive, molesting, smoke and mirrors chopshop as in the example the perfect example of Straight Incorporated.
I have said some pretty mean shit and posters have said, why don'tcha put your name next to you so we can know who said that filthy smak
If it's not trust then my final reason for not putting up my legal name is that I just don't care to.
With all that said I intend no disrespect toward you, dear survivor.
Very truly yours,
Anonymously Anonymous.
