Author Topic: Salem for youth ranch  (Read 3437 times)

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Offline Antigen

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Salem for youth ranch
« on: September 30, 2011, 08:26:06 AM »
There has been a suicide @ this place. Please try & find anyone who has been there or who knows any of the staff. Here's all I could find right off (thanks Angela)

Http://www.heal-online.org/salem.htm

Please be gentle & level headed in your statements. These people are grieving & probably sincerey believe that this place tried & failed to help their boy. If we can reach them we may be able to save their two surviving kids from being helped.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Oscar

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Re: Salem for youth ranch
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2011, 01:59:45 PM »
Obituary: Benjamin James Lolley, 16, of Eureka

-+-+-+-
Eureka - Benjamin James Lolley, 16, of Eureka, died at 5:23 p.m. Friday, Aug. 26, 2011, in Eureka.

He was born Dec. 9, 1994, in Stillwater, Okla., to Jim and Dianne Michelle Bates Lolley.

Surviving is his mother, Michelle Lolley of Eureka; two sisters, Nikki (Ben) Chew and Chelsea Lolley, both of Eureka; paternal grandparents, Bob and Leonia Lolley of Valdosta, Ga.; and maternal grandmother, Virginia Lowry of Perkins, Okla.

He was preceded in death by his father.

Ben was a student at Salem Ranch in Flanagan, where he was just a few weeks short of graduating from high school.

He enjoyed horseback riding, training horses, fishing, weightlifting, and various sports.

A Celebration of Life service will be held at 6 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 1, at the Eureka Nazarene Church. The Rev. Nathan Thomas will officiate. There will be no visitation. Cremation rites will be accorded and burial of ashes will be with his father in Perkins Cemetery in Perkins, Okla., at a later date.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Salem 4 Youth Ranch in Flanagan. Online condolences may be sent to the family at http: // www. ruestmanharrisfuneralhome. com.

-+-+-+-

It seems that it happened during a home visit. It is very sad. I feel sorry for the one who is left behind.
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Offline Ursus

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Ben Lolley, former EHS student, dies
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2011, 03:44:52 PM »
WoodfordTimes.com Serving Woodford County, Ill.
Ben Lolley, former EHS student, dies

By DeWayne Bartels Woodford Times
Posted Aug 29, 2011 @ 10:53 AM


Eureka, Ill. Ben Lolley, a former Eureka High School student died over the weekend.

Lolley is the apparent victim of a suicide, according to Woodford County Coroner Tim Ruestman. The coroner, Monday morning, said the case was still under investigation.

EHS Principal Richard Wherley said school counselors and a social worker were on hand at the high school on Monday to talk to students.

"We are handling it in-house," Wherely said.  

Plans were underway for a memorial at the high school, but had not been finalized by presstime. Check http://www.woodfordtimes.com for information about the memorial.

When asked when Lolley had been a student, Wherley said, simply, "He hasn't been here for a year."

Lolley is a former football player and wrestler.

Ruestman said the family had not made funeral arrangements yet.


Copyright 2011 Woodford Times.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Ursus

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'Suicide is Painless" to no one anytime, anywhere
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2011, 12:12:48 AM »
Publisher/reporter DeWayne Bartels explains why he used the word "suicide" in the just above article on Ben Lolley...

Fwiw, here's Bartels' pic:


DeWayne Bartels

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WoodfordTimes.com Serving Woodford County, Ill.
"Suicide is Painless" to no one anytime, anywhere

By DeWayne Bartels Woodford Times
Posted Sep 14, 2011 @ 11:13 AM


Eureka, Ill. When I spoke to Woodford County Coroner Tim Ruestman recently about the death of Ben Lolley he offered some sage advice.

I had brought up a word suicide.  

When I asked if he could confirm that Lolley's death was a suicide, Ruestman said, "You can call it a suicide if you wish, but some papers don't list it as the cause of death," he said.

I knew what he was telling me. He was saying I could write the story and not use the word. He was being thoughtful to the family, and trying to help me avoid potential backlash from the community. I appreciated his words.  

Suicide is a word with the incredible power to wound, embarrass, shame or anger people.

I used the word anyway.

Let me explain why.

I didn't use the word to shock.

I didn't use it to draw attention to the story.

If either of those reasons had been my purpose the word would have been in the headline.

I used it simply because it was the truth, as I knew it.

On Aug. 31, the day the story appeared, I got a call from an incredibly courteous female reader in Eureka. She did not appreciate me including the information that it was a suicide.

The caller told me she knew Lolley. She knows the family.

She thought it hurtful that I included that bit of information.

We had a nice conversation on the topic. We agreed to disagree.

I, however, understand exactly where she was coming from. Though I am a newspaperman, I am a human being first.

I knew using the word could be hurtful. I've experienced suicide among  friends in my life. A close member of my family has twice attempted suicide.

It was hurtful to me.  

I say again I used the word because it was the truth.

I've been in this business covering towns big and small for more than 20 years. If there is one topic in this profession that can tie an editor's stomach and brain in knots it is death in general, suicide in particular.

I've dealt with death in almost every form imaginable since almost my first day on the job.

I've hurt people with the words I've written. I've been hurt by words written about me.

I had a man in Morton threaten to commit suicide if I published his arrest. I published it.

Why? It was the truth. He did not take his life.

I've been threatened with arrest multiple times in advance of a story being published. I published.

A white supremacy group issued multiple death threats against me and my family if I published a story about a local Neo-Nazi leader. I published.

I comprehend words have power and that with power comes responsibility. I used the word responsibly. It was used only after confirming it with officials.

Last week I ran another story in which suicide played a huge role. That story was one of hope, of justice and a second lease on life for a teenaged girl. It's interesting to note the story originated from the family of the girl who committed suicide.    

I am reminded of a quote from the movie, "Absence of Malice."

In the movie a reporter writes a story that results in a woman committing suicide. The reporter is devastated.

Her editor tells her, "I know how to tell the truth. I also know how not to hurt people. I don't know how to do both at the same time."

That is very true. Very simply put, my responsibility is not to shade the truth.  

I've always been struck by the fact the theme song to the TV series "M*A*S*H" was "Suicide is Painless."

In my experience that has never been true for anyone, including the writer who points it out in a newspaper story.


Copyright 2011 Woodford Times.
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Offline Ursus

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FB page: "In memory of Ben Lolley"
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2011, 02:03:37 AM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Ursus

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Dear Mr. Bartels,
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2011, 08:41:45 PM »
The following is posted on Ginger's behalf, as per request, due to current less than optimal cell phone functionality...

Quote from: "Antigen"

Suicide is relatively painless

Dear Mr. Bartels,
Please consider for publication.

I am a survivor of abuse in the troubled teen industry. For over 10 years, a growing number of survivors have worked hard to bring this important issue before the public.

As such, I appreciate your anguish over whether to use that painful word. And I laud you for giving the question due consideration. I'm also glad you decided to use it.

As painful as it surely is for all who knew and loved this young man, (and they have my deepest condolences) he must have been in intolerable, inescapable pain himself. What were the causes?

Your initial article on the tragic death of young Ben Lolly has come to our attention because the parents have asked that donations be sent in lieu of flowers to Salem For Youth Ranch.

At first blush, this appears to be yet another abusive tough love program for teens. Well intended, I'm sure. They all are. But abusive & destructive none the less.

Suicide rates among program survivors are hard to track. Most reporters won't report them. But estimates based on independent research, may be as high as 100 times the national average; comparable to places like Cuba & the Baltic states.

Painful as it is for all of us, this needs to be investigated, not hidden. Ben is survived by two siblings. I pray that their parents don't try to "help" them the same way.

Sincerely,

Ginger McNulty
< address redacted >
< telephone # redacted >
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Offline Pile of Dead Kids

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Re: Salem for youth ranch
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2011, 01:26:04 AM »
Their website is one of the more disturbing things I've ever read, and that's saying a lot.

Their FAQ doesn't say shit. There's no detailed information on how the kids are treated. There's "you will not be able to talk to him for six weeks". You'd have to be completely out of your shit to send a kid here based on what they're telling you.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
...Sergey Blashchishen, James Shirey, Faith Finley, Katherine Rice, Ashlie Bunch, Brendan Blum, Caleb Jensen, Alex Cullinane, Rocco Magliozzi, Elisa Santry, Dillon Peak, Natalynndria Slim, Lenny Ortega, Angellika Arndt, Joey Aletriz, Martin Anderson, James White, Christening Garcia, Kasey Warner, Shirley Arciszewski, Linda Harris, Travis Parker, Omega Leach, Denis Maltez, Kevin Christie, Karlye Newman, Richard DeMaar, Alexis Richie, Shanice Nibbs, Levi Snyder, Natasha Newman, Gracie James, Michael Owens, Carlton Thomas, Taylor Mangham, Carnez Boone, Benjamin Lolley, Jessica Bradford's unnamed baby, Anthony Parker, Dysheka Streeter, Corey Foster, Joseph Winters, Bruce Staeger, Kenneth Barkley, Khalil Todd, Alec Lansing, Cristian Cuellar-Gonzales, Janaia Barnhart, a DRA victim who never even showed up in the news, and yet another unnamed girl at Summit School...

Offline Ursus

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Re: Salem for youth ranch
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2011, 02:19:10 AM »
Quote from: "Pile of Dead Kids"
Their website is one of the more disturbing things I've ever read, and that's saying a lot.

Their FAQ doesn't say shit. There's no detailed information on how the kids are treated. There's "you will not be able to talk to him for six weeks". You'd have to be completely out of your shit to send a kid here based on what they're telling you.
Yep. I was actually right on their FAQ page (on another Tab) when I read your post. From that page:

    Through what organization is your education program accredited?
    We are affiliated with the National Association of Street Schools. Additionally, we are certified by the Illinois State Board of Education.
    [/list]

    The National Association of Street Schools is actually an Evangelical organization of sorts with a ministry of educating at-risk youth and the homeless and disenfranchised. Noble aims to be sure, but apparently certain elements of said practice, and/or the practices of certain member schools, may possibly go to some unhealthy extremes for some kids, from a psychological POV...
    « Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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    Offline Ursus

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    Benjamin James Lolley, 16, R.I.P.
    « Reply #8 on: April 13, 2012, 06:01:07 PM »
    There's also an obituary on Legacy.com, attached to the Peoria Journal Star. This one has a pic and a Guest Book attached...

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    Obituary
    Benjamin Lolley



    EUREKA - Benjamin James Lolley, 16, of Eureka, Ill., passed away at 5:23 p.m. Friday, Aug. 26, 2011, in Eureka, Ill.

    He was born Dec. 9, 1994, in Stillwater, Okla., a son of Jim and Dianne Michelle Bates Lolley. Surviving are his mother, Michelle Lolley of Eureka, Ill.; two sisters, Nikki (Ben) Chew and Chelsea Lolley, both of Eureka, Ill.; paternal grandparents, Bob and Leonia Lolley of Valdosta, Ga.; and maternal grandmother, Virginia Lowry of Perkins, Okla.

    He was preceded in death by his father and his maternal grandfather, Roy Arthur Bates.

    Ben was a student at Salem Ranch in Flanagan, Ill., where he was just a few weeks short of graduating from high school.

    He enjoyed horseback riding, training horses, fishing, weight lifting and various sports.

    A celebration of life service will be held at 6 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 1, 2011, at the Eureka Nazarene Church. The Rev. Nathan Thomas will officiate. There will be no visitation.

    Cremation rites will be accorded, and burial of ashes will be with his father in Perkins Cemetery in Perkins, Okla., at a later date.

    In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Salem 4 Youth Ranch in Flanagan, Ill..

    Online condolences may be sent to the family at http://www.ruestmanharrisfuneralhome.com.

    Published in Peoria Journal Star on August 31, 2011


    Copyright 1999-2011 Legacy.com
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    Offline Ursus

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    Re: Benjamin James Lolley, 16, R.I.P.
    « Reply #9 on: April 13, 2012, 06:05:42 PM »
    Entries left for Ben Lolley's Guest Book (attached to the above obit):


    August 31, 2011
      I am so sorry for your loss, and pray that God will grant you peace and comfort
        ~ Lori Martin,
    Goodfield, Illinois[/list][/list]
    August 31, 2011
      We are truly sorry for your loss may god lift you up during this difficult time.
        ~ wilson family,
    eureka, Illinois[/list][/list]
    August 31, 2011
      Dear Lolley Family,

      I just heard about your tragic loss and am praying for you. I know your faith has been tested to the limit the past several years and hope the Lord brings you safely through.

      We were members together with you in the Kankakee Homeschool group years ago. Kaasi (Richmond) and Nikki still stay in occasional contact with one another.

      The Mike and Roxanne Keen Family
        ~ Roxanne Keen,
    Momence, Illinois[/list][/list]
    August 31, 2011
      We are praying for you and are so sorry for your loss.May God be ever near your side now and in the coming days.
        ~ Lori Leman,
    Eureka, Illinois[/list][/list]
    August 31, 2011
      Our prayers go out to you and yours. Praying for God's strength and peace for you.
        ~ Terry Ryan (kche),
    Bourbonnais, Illinois[/list][/list]
    September 01, 2011
      My heart was heavy when I heard the news at church on Sunday. Grace Church of Morton prayed for your family, and the work at Salem Ranch to continue. My half brother, Kelly Guard, was there at Salem with Ben. I am so sorry for your loss. Be comforted in knowing that he heard the Good News of Salvation many times while at the ranch.
        ~ Ellen Lorentz,
    Morton, Illinois[/list][/list]


    2011 Legacy.com.
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