For the past week I have been battling a bad ass flu bug compounded
by a dose of Conjunctivitis. Bernie Mac did an episode of it a while
back and it is nothing to laugh at. It is scary as shit to wake up
and it looks as if the room is filled with smoke, and you can hardly
see, and when you make it to the bathroom, turn on the light and look
in the mirror, it looks like someone gouged out your eyes and
replaced them with fucking Butterscotch Pudding!!!! I almost pissed
myself, and the pus is so thick, it must have taken me 5 minutes
under the tap before I could even see clearly. My glands were so
swollen, I looked like that Narrator Guy from the Rocky Horror
Picture Show (the guy with no neck) and I was so beat to shit from
hacking up phlem that I actually resembled Darth Vader when Luke
pulled the breath mask off him right before he died. Dark circles
under the eyes, pasty complexion, wheezing for breath. It totally
sucked!
One thing that helped me get through it was to gargle with hot ass
water with some Cayenne Pepper sauce in it. It really works and the
oil based irritant in the pepper coats the tonsils and acts as a
local anesthetic to suppress the urge to cough. I would swallow the
last of the shit to kill whatever germs had made it to my stomach. I
also made it a point to keep my apartment humid by heating water on
the stove. Sure, I could have went to the doctor, paid 55 for the
visit, plus another 20 to 70 bucks on anti-biotics and crap, but I
decided to tough it out. Through it all, Charo was a real trooper. The first few times I gargled, she would scream bloody murder from the next room because she thought I was dying or something. I finally would put her on my shoulder and let her watch. After awhile, she started dipping her beak into the coffee mug full of water and pepper sauce and imitate me, although she was messy as hell, and got stuff all over the mirror when she would shake her head, but it was so cute, it was worth the mess. She was so good through all of my keeping her up all night coughing and hacking through the week, that I bought her a whole pound of Pistacchios. I hope everybody has a healthy and happy Thanksgiving, and try to avoid fast food places, cuz that is how I think I caught this stuff in the first place. Especially stay away from Checkers. They do'nt even have sinks in the damn crew room in them places, and that is where I think I got the bug from now that I think about it............ ::burger:: ::burger:: ::burger:: :flame: :rofl:
[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-11-22 23:33 ]
