How to Manipulate your way out of a program

[Che Gookin]

A better thread would be, "How to get revenge on your asshole fuckwit parents for sending you to an abusive shithole."

[Shadyacres]

It’s the few who were harmed by the programs or didn’t apply themselves and therefore didn’t do well who post here.
...

Didn't apply themselves?  Ahh hah hah!  I am pretty sure that the program never told my mother that "applying myself" was a requirement.  To apply yourself implies that you have consented to this treatment, I certainly never did.  Furthermore it is my belief that nearly everyone is harmed by these programs and the number of kids who get positive results from them is so laughably minuscule that it is hardly worth mentioning.

[Anne Bonney]

It’s the few who were harmed by the programs or didn’t apply themselves and therefore didn’t do well who post here.
...

Here's some of the "few" that were not only harmed, but killed by programs.

http://www.caica.org/NEWS%20Deaths%20Li ... mitted.htm

Sadly, the list is too long to copy/paste.

[Froderik]

A better thread would be, "How to get revenge on your asshole fuckwit parents for sending you to an abusive shithole."

Before i read up on the last few posts on this thread, i have to say kudos to you, Gookin, for this post ^

The very title of this thread rubbed me the wrong way from the start... that godawful word used in the program context... "manipulating".... jesus...can someone take over for me here..

[Watchful Yeoman]

There are many who have "manipulated their way out of the program" by simply killing themselves while at the program.  Sadly, many would rather die than remain on earth tortured and abused for fun and profit.

[Froderik]

There are many who have "manipulated their way out of the program" by simply killing themselves while at the program.  Sadly, many would rather die than remain on earth tortured and abused for fun and profit.

Well said.

But those "manipulative druggies" probably would have done that sooner or later anyway, right?

That's just part of their "druggie behavior?"  ::puke::

[Maximilian]

I attempted suicide before the program, and then in it. So in my own case, I can't speak for others, it wasn't so much because of the program itself. It was a constant battle I was having with myself. That's why I was kept on suicide watch for almost my entire time at the program, and that worked in keeping me safe from myself, for the most part.

What if a parent finds a teen attempting suicide at home, or God forbid finds them hanging in the closet or something, does that mean those parents are somehow guilty of abuse? I'm not saying people haven't committed suicide in programs, I know that happens, but how can you automatically assume you know their reasons? I say this respectfully.

[Pile of Dead Kids]

It's only a shame you didn't succeed.

[Anne Bonney]

A better thread would be, "How to get revenge on your asshole fuckwit parents for sending you to an abusive shithole."

Before i read up on the last few posts on this thread, i have to say kudos to you, Gookin, for this post ^

 :tup:

The very title of this thread rubbed me the wrong way from the start...

I think that was his intent, although he's constantly changing the thread titles.

that godawful word used in the program context... "manipulating".... jesus...can someone take over for me here..

Was just reading in the Deaths in Facilities section over on Caica and, as we all know, there are many deaths due to the fact that the staff are trained to think that any complaining that a kid does is all manipulation.  I don't know when or where America got so off track that we've pathologised (sp?) adolescence.   It seems that whenever a teen of one of these kinds of parents starts to develop their own thoughts, ideas and values...the parents panic because the kid isn't living up to what the parents want them to be.  I said yesterday that a lot of this really is about control for these parents.  Children are not commodities and they're not our property.  It's not our job to mold them into what we want them to be.  It's our job to help them realize their own hopes and dreams, not ours for them.

Aaron Bacon's story is one of the saddest I've ever heard.  That poor kid suffered unbelievably because the staff thought he was being "manipulative" when he repeatedly complained of stomach pains.  He died a horribly torturous death because the staff ignored his pleas for help.  His father's testimony follows:



Testimony of Bob Bacon, father of Aaron Bacon
Committee on Education and Labor

October 10, 2007

Chairman Miller and Distinguished Committee Members, my name is Bob Bacon, the father of Aaron Bacon. Speaking for my wife, and Aaron’s mother Sally, his brother Jarid and his sister Kia Sullivan; and speaking on behalf of the many families not at this table whose lives have been shattered by these fraudulent programs, we deeply appreciate your efforts to put a stop to this country’s growing industry of institutionalized child abuse.

During our search for the best alternative to the remaining three months of Aaron’s sophomore year in high school, my wife and I spoke with therapists, counselors, pastors and doctors until we were eventually referred by friends to North Star Expeditions, a now defunct, but formerly licensed Utah-based program that billed itself as a “wilderness therapy program for troubled teens.”

After reading their very compelling brochure, speaking to their office by phone, and finally meeting the owners for a personal interview, we thought we had found the perfect situation: Caring people who were experienced in counseling kids who were struggling with drugs and social pressure – and to top it off - writing in a daily journal we were told was an integral part of their “counseling” program.

As a writer, we felt journaling would help Aaron to sort things out; and we were certain that, as a poet Aaron would find the awesome beauty of southern Utah to be inspirational and spiritually healing.

Of course, being normal, trusting and honest people ourselves– we assumed we were being told the truth. We were dead wrong. His mother and I will never escape our decision to send our gifted 16 year old son to his death at North Star. The guilt of our apparent naiveté was crippling. We were conned by their fraudulent claims, and will go to our graves regretting our gullibility.

Adding further to our regret, we were talked into using their escort service. Aaron was taken from his bed at 5:00 AM on Tuesday morning, March the 1st, 1994 by two burley strangers who announced to Aaron with a tone of authority that any resistance on his part would be countered with whatever physical force was necessary. He was not allowed to speak to us, or put on any shoes. His eyes expressed a strange mixture of anger, despair, fear and loving sadness. I was able to manage only the briefest of hugs which, being restrained, he could not return.

In the trauma of this surreal instant I offered words of comfort without thinking of their potentially ominous meaning when I said, “Aaron, I know you will find God in the wilderness.”

Little did I know that these would be the last words I would ever speak to my youngest son! His mother managed only a fleeting moment to cradle his face in her hands and utter her spontaneous words of love and the assurance that he would later see that this was really for the best.

I cried inconsolably from the depths of my soul as the escort van backed out of our driveway with our terrified son silently pleading with his sad eyes for us not to send him away. This excruciating scene would have to serve for the rest of our lives as the last living memory of our beautiful son.

Aaron arrived in the Escalante Wilderness Area of southern Utah that same night and waited a few days for a brief intake exam, indoctrination into the rules of the program, and the issue of ill-fitting shoes and clothing.

This picture of him was taken on March 8th, when he was noted as weighing 131 pounds on a lanky 5’-11” frame. Aaron’s bloody and tattered journal would contain no poetry, but would record in his own words an unbelievable account of torture, abuse and neglect; a horrific tale that is corroborated by the journals of the so called “counselors”, along with the journals and sworn testimony of his troubled young cohorts.

This calendar was assembled by criminal investigators from program records and chronicles 21 days of ruthless and relentless physical and psychological abuse and neglect. Aaron spent 14 of his 20 days on the trail without any food whatsoever, while being forced to hike 8-10 miles per day.

On the days he did have food it consisted of undercooked lentils, lizards, scorpions, trail mix, and a celebrated canned peach on the 13th . On top of this, with temperatures below freezing, he endured 13 of 20 nights with only a thin wool blanket, plus 5 nights without warmth or protection of any kind.

Aaron complained of severe stomach pain and asked to see a doctor as early as the third day of hiking, and by the tenth day had lost all control of his bodily functions; but unbelievably, as he got weaker and lost nearly 20% of his body weight they repeatedly refused to send him to a doctor.

Taken from what appears to be the industry handbook, their policy had predetermined that these kids are all liars and manipulators and therefore “Aaron was faking.”

[Slide #3] This grotesque skeleton is what Aaron looked like when he was seen the evening before he died by Georgette Costigan, the registered EMT who, still insisting that he was faking, didn’t even take his vital signs, but instead took the occasion to barter a meager piece of cheese in return for his promise to try harder and hike the following day.

This company employed EMT, and relative of owner Bill Henry, dismissed his final desperate plea to see a doctor who could prove he wasn’t faking and made a conscious decision to prove a point rather than render aid, thus effectively killing our son rather than saving him.

What you cannot see in these photos are the bruises, cuts, lesions, rashes, blisters and open sores that covered Aaron’s body from head to toe. These scars of abuse and the dried skin stretched taut over his bones are what his mother and I were left to discover without any warning when the sheet was pulled back at the mortuary. This, we screamed, could not be our son as we grabbed each other and collapsed to our knees, but the scar above his now sunken right eye told us that it was.

It was in that one shocking moment of proof that our lives changed forever. The stories of Aaron’s death and the others who have died, or survived the abuses of these programs, are chilling reminders of the dangers of absolute power, and point out the extremely high risks we take in allowing these programs to operate without strict regulation and oversight.

This country, this congress and this committee are faced as never before with several urgent and critically important choices. If we choose economic growth over human rights; if we choose no-growth-in-government over the safety of our children; and if we continue to place our faith in the self-regulation of private enterprise over the mandate of our government to protect our nation’s health, safety and welfare, we are choosing to fail in our sacred obligations to our children, our families, and our future.

I implore you, as I know Aaron would, to PLEASE stop paying lip service to “family values” and start placing “value-in-families.” We can do this in part, by investing the resources of the American people in our children who will soon inherit our challenging legacy; and we can START NOW by putting a stop to these fraudulent and destructive programs of institutionalized child abuse.

Respectfully,

Bob Bacon, father

[Froderik]

I attempted suicide before the program, and then in it. So in my own case, I can't speak for others, it wasn't so much because of the program itself. It was a constant battle I was having with myself. That's why I was kept on suicide watch for almost my entire time at the program, and that worked in keeping me safe from myself, for the most part.

What if a parent finds a teen attempting suicide at home, or God forbid finds them hanging in the closet or something, does that mean those parents are somehow guilty of abuse? I'm not saying people haven't committed suicide in programs, I know that happens, but how can you automatically assume you know their reasons? I say this respectfully.

So there are two questions here:

1. What if a parent finds a teen attempting suicide at home does that mean those parents are somehow guilty of abuse?
 -- Answer: Of course not.

2. Of those who committed suicide in programs, can you automatically assume you know their reasons?
-- Answer: No, you cannot always...however, some (despite your saying a program saved your life) just couldn't take it.

[Anne Bonney]

So there are two questions here:

1. What if a parent finds a teen attempting suicide at home does that mean those parents are somehow guilty of abuse?
 -- Answer: Of course not.

2. Of those who committed suicide in programs, can you automatically assume you know their reasons?
-- Answer: No, you cannot always...however, some (despite your saying a program saved your life) just couldn't take it.

Agreed.  Especially given the methods used in many programs (LGATs, confrontational/attack "therapy", isolation from family and friends and pretty much the entire outside world).  The kids in these places have no 'touchstone', no reality check so-to-speak, to even realize if what's being done to them is 'normal and therapeutic' or abusive or what.  They're not allowed to question these methods and know if they do dare to speak up and question what's being done to them, the punishments will be quick and severe.

[Maximilian]

If I tried to kill myself in a program and they stopped me and kept me from doing it, would it be a factual statement to say the program saved my life? Perhaps this might better help people understand my terminology.

[Fight2Survive]

pRETEND u are insane, act as much of a disturbance and fight them to the death... never give in and never give up.. thats how I did it

[Whooter]

I guess it would really depend on the program and your parents.  At the programs I am familiar with if you break the rules you will be kicked out so it is fairly easy to get out if you want to.  For example if you try to run away more than once or twice,  start fighting, pull a knife on someone, strike a counselor etc.  you will be sent home and your parents will lose whatever they have paid to date (hopefully they didn’t prepay for the whole year).

Next after you have been kicked out what will your parents do?  Send you to a stricter program?  Give up and let you move out onto the streets?  Let the legal system deal with you?  These should be considered before getting yourself kicked out.

The best course for any kid would be to take advantage of their time in the program, move ahead with their academics,  work with their therapist on personal issues and graduate a stronger more focused person.  Its hard to convince a teenager of this, I know, but this would be the best advice.



...

[RobertBruce]

I guess it would really depend on the program and your parents. At the programs I am familiar with if you break the rules you will be kicked out so it is fairly easy to get out if you want to. For example if you try to run away more than once or twice, start fighting, pull a knife on someone, strike a counselor etc. you will be sent home and your parents will lose whatever they have paid to date

What program was this? If that had been the case when I was incarcerated at HLA I would gotten out much sooner then I did. If all you have to do is beat up a counselor those places would be ghost towns. No, at HLA (and many other places) the threat is, "Do what we say or we'll send you some place worse." With HLA that threat was always focused towards 3 Springs. Just another manipulative tactic from this abusive industry.

The best course for any kid would be to take advantage of their time in the program, move ahead with their academics

Take advantage of time locked up? Move ahead with academics? Academics come secondary at these places, you can't fail the classes, and many of them don't offer transferable credits to legitimate schools.

work with their therapist on personal issues and graduate a stronger more focused person.

You mean their unlicensed therapist who's offering hack ineffective therapy? How are they supposed to become a stronger more focused person under that?

Its hard to convince a teenager of this, I know, but this would be the best advice.

Are you kidding? You just told them if they beat up a staff member they get to go home. That may be the best advice you've ever posted on here.