Author Topic: Help (Read 3845 times)

Mary Lancaster · « **on:** April 08, 2010, 05:50:52 PM »

I need help with my teenage daughter who is threatening to kill herself. She has moderate Asperger's Syndrome and is akward around other kids and she gets bullied a lot. She saw on CNN that story about the girl who killed herself from bullying and told me she was glad the other girl was now in the arms of God and no longer suffering like her. This has scared me a lot and I need to find a safe place to put her where I know for sure she will not harm herself. I called her therapist and asked to get her put inpatient, but was told our insurance wouldn't cover it unless she actually attempted suicide. But then it will be too late. Help me please find a safe place to put my daughter but has enough restrictions to keep her from harming herself. I don't care if she gets angry with me I need her alive. Thank you

Pile of Dead Kids · « **Reply #1 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:23:00 PM »

Bring her on Fornits and we can show her things to make her feel glad about her life, such as the fact that her mother isn't an apeshit programmie.

You can simply yank her out of the public school system and homeschool. Watch to make sure the books aren't suffused with religious bullshit, though.

That is, of course, assuming that this isn't the standard troll we get around here. (Yes, someone trolls this site with "concerned parent" crap on a regular basis.)

SEKTO · « **Reply #2 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:38:07 PM »

Quote from: "Pile of Dead Kids"

That is, of course, assuming that this isn't the standard troll we get around here. (Yes, someone trolls this site with "concerned parent" crap on a regular basis.

Yes, PDK, you are right.

However, there is also the possibility that this person is in fact entirely genuine, and in any case I think that this sort of thing is to be taken seriously.

Tell us please, Mary, what state do you live in? I ask this to suggest to you that you check the mental health resources, suicide hotlines, etc. in your area. Are you aware of what resources may be available to you?

SUCK IT · « **Reply #3 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:46:22 PM »

Admin edit notes: profanity; disrespectful; off topic

SEKTO · « **Reply #4 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:47:50 PM »

edited

Joel · « **Reply #5 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:51:36 PM »

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

SEKTO · « **Reply #6 on:** April 08, 2010, 06:54:09 PM »

edited

Antigen · « **Reply #7 on:** April 08, 2010, 07:12:31 PM »

Man, this shit is not funny! I don't know whether Mary's a troll or for real. So assume she's not a troll (if she were we'd be not feeding her, right?)

Mary, while there are probably a lot of places that have enough surveillance to prevent all but the most determined of suicide attempts, unfortunately they usually come with enough psyche and emotional abuse to turn what might be a melodramatic expression of angst into a real problem. Never mind her being angry with you or not. That usually passes. I'm talking deeply ingrained emotional problems.

I would NOT suggest trying to find a placement. Instead, find out what's bothering your kid and help her deal with those problems.

Joel · « **Reply #8 on:** April 08, 2010, 07:44:25 PM »

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Che Gookin · « **Reply #9 on:** April 08, 2010, 07:55:36 PM »

Maybe she is here to avoid all of that? Perchance she's looking for an alternative and she's frightened?

Mary,

What your daughter needs is right at home. If school is proving too much for her at this time, pull her out and homeschool. The other solution is consider finding an alternative school with a smaller student population. Keep in mind, idealization with suicide isn't a pending sign that she'll be climbing up on the roof to jump. What it well could be is your daughter telling you she needs more time with mom.

Just be patient, keep calm, don't treat your daughter as if she is a freak, and try to emphasize to her that you love her for who she is and not who she could be. Be sure you keep reminding her that these problems are transitionary as next year will bring an entirely new set of problems and so on and so forth. If she physically attempts suicide, just remember to not panic or treat her as if she's a mutant.

Above all talk to her and listen to her. Listen more than you talk.. listen.. listen.. listen.

This won't get better in a week or two either. Be ready to take the long view on it. Last, de-emphasize the aspbergers bullshit. Do not ever say to her, "Well you have aspbergers, doing such and such isn't possible."

Get her invested in something she can do and remind her of that success. Kids, adults, grandparents driven and motivated by success tend to be happier more productive people in the long run.

Mary Lancaster · « **Reply #10 on:** April 08, 2010, 08:00:27 PM »

I'm not sure what to make of the troll comments. What is the purpose of implying I am a ugly creature living under a bridge? Because I love my daughter and want her to get help? Well if this causes me to be a troll then so be it, all I am asking for is help, not a toll to cross my bridge. I live in Arizona and have already talked with our therapist about hospitalization and public health options, they are not available. I have private insurance but she can't get inpatient unless she actually attempts suicide so I was told the only option is to pay for placement out of pocket. I need her in a safe facility, that is not up for discussion. I know what is bothering her, she is different than other kids and they treat her like dirt. Please provide a place that will keep her alive and safe and is also affordable. If there is a place for Asperger's teens specific maybe she will not be bullied, but it doesn't have to be. Thank you

SEKTO · « **Reply #11 on:** April 08, 2010, 08:03:50 PM »

I neither proscribe nor prescribe anything for you, Mary, I say only to look into what is available to you locally, be careful, and keep your options open.

Nor do I make light of your predicament, and in fact sympathize with how you must feel.

I myself have Asperger's (undiagnosed as a kid) and being in one of these programs didn't help me at all.

Are there supports groups or anything of this nature in your area that are available for kids with ASD and their families?

Whooter · « **Reply #12 on:** April 08, 2010, 08:07:52 PM »

Something wrong, doesn’t add up. Why doesn’t her therapist see the warning signs? The therapist should be telling you, Mary. If your daughter has aspergers (autism) then she is entitled to coverage for a 1 – to - 3 day emergency evaluation in which any insurance company is required to cover.
Ask your daughters therapist to have her admitted for a “Risk evaluation” for risk of committing violence (against herself). They should be able to stabilize, evaluate and measure the risk and make recommendations for treatment.

...

Mary Lancaster · « **Reply #13 on:** April 08, 2010, 08:35:15 PM »

Nobody has a place that I can send her? If you don't want to post it, please message me with this information. My daughter does not have autism and is not covered to get a free evaluation. Our therapist noted if I feel really concerned I need to dial 911 and tell them my daughter is attempting suicide. If she goes inpatient, a few days later I would need to find a place for her to go after that. Please help me soon, thank you. I know this is not ideal, but I have a sixth sense that she is serious and if it takes sending her away so be it. thanks

Pile of Dead Kids · « **Reply #14 on:** April 08, 2010, 10:17:36 PM »

Pretending not to know what a troll is + insisting that her daughter be sent away no matter what (on Fornits, lol) = a troll that even Whooter can see through. (And that's fucking SAD.)

Your first post was 9/10, but it only went downhill from there.

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