Just don't blame the ones who tried to help. When you are 18 and continue to act the way you have, you can look forward to a life spent in jail, this is not my opinion this is simply a fact. A judge won't care your parents were assholes. So grow up become real men and women and don't continue the cycle that you are a part of. Learn from it and take some damn action like I am instead of just complaining about it all the time.
CG
I can understand how it would look like we have some grudge against parents, and maybe some on here do, but I can tell you that is simply not the case with me. My mother and I have a pretty good relationship and I happen to admire her for all the hard work she put into raising me. I am also no longer a teen, I am actually well on my way to 30, I am certainly not in jail or a drug user and I have quite a fulfilling career and even more purposeful hobbies... However I was once defined as an out of control teen, defiant, rebellious and definitely a bit detached from my parents. But that doesn't mean I had some disorder I overcame, all that was, was a healthy distrust of authority. I just wanted to be an adult, albeit too early but I believe my behavior was not out of control, just not appropriate for my age. All that fell into place as I became of age, it seems like even though my decisions caused turmoil in my teens, those lessons I learned led me to become the responsible adult I am today.
Since your new I'll give you some semblance of the benefit of the doubt, you may be confused or maybe a little crazy but I'd advise you to take a step back and try to understand this situation from a different angle. Its obvious you are a person who values respect and holds your family in high priority, possibly a bit strict when it comes to parenting, but behind your draconian methods there is love, and genuine concern for your child's future. I can guess that you have a certain way of dealing with misbehavior and that is usually no tolerance, and appropriate consequences.
This kind of parenting style is common, and in most cases considered effective, but something you need to understand is that not ALL children respond well to this kind of authoritarian behavior. In some cases it only fuels the flames, and can create serious issues for a child with a rebellious personality. You need to realize that your style of parenting might be exactly what is pushing your children away from you, especially those who have a pre-disposition to having a lack of trust for authority figures. You cant assume just because you are the adult that your children wont question your logic, the reality is, your human and they have every right to question your judgment.
You see, kids who have developed problems with authority just want to be in control of their own lives, make their own decisions and be treated with respect. That's really not too much to ask in the adult world but since this person is a minor, often times those demands are overlooked in a parents desperation to protect their child.
You arent expected to be your child's best friend and let them run around like wild men, you just need to learn how to communicate. Communication is different for every individual relationship, don't assume that if one tactic works with one kid it should automatically work for the others as well. You have to cultivate a personal repore with your child which includes what consequences are effective and which punishments may exacerbate the issue and entice more acting out behavior.
well like I said, I'm not here to attack you, and I would advise taking some of the things people say here with a grain of salt but that doesn't mean that you don't have any room to take a second glance at your decisions and your life and make some re-corrections. It doesn't matter how old you are you never stop learning so try to be open to exploring new avenues of working these things out with your children. Sometimes just making the effort to meet them half way makes all the difference.
