I came upon a few of the letters home from my son. i went to their bbs, it made me feel somewhat better that others missed their child too. i was told not to be manipulated, this was always the initial reaction b/c they think mommy/daddy are coming to take them home, and until they believe that you arean't they won't "work the program" and that it would "get better in time",
here are some excerpts:
"this is so hard for me. pls tell them you need to talk to me on the phone"
"please, i miss you so much i cant stop crying"
"you mean more than anything to me, i have never been so depressed in my life, it is very important that I get a counselor to talk to, i will try my hardest to do good but i need your help"
the letters dont get better, but deteriorate from there, the handwriting is not on line paper and the words cascade downward toward end of each line
""i'm trying to deal with some of my problems, i never told yu when i was home but i think i'm schizophrenic"
"in your letter please tell me how much you love me"
"i feel empty inside and don't know how to get rid of it, i don't think i can"
this of course is all manipulation. these letters have nothing to do with the fact that a staff member threatened to rape him, alarms were going off all night, being punched in the chest was being "consequenced", told that he was "damaged goods" and "you are in fact a bad kid and i don't know if your mom will want to come and get you, even if you do graduate the program" (more love and affection from the caring staff, of course)
I never heard the expression "tea bag" until my son came home. thats what the staff member said he wanted to do to my son. this makes me sick and angry as hell.
little did i know. . . in my letters i tell him how much i love him and that i'm trying to HELP him, that i would never put him in DANGER. . . little did i know.