Author Topic: John David Reuben's Son, Max Reuben and HLA (Read 27877 times)

Troll Control · « **Reply #135 on:** July 21, 2009, 07:35:30 AM »

Quote from: "Guest"

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I just wonder what kind of parent does such a lousy job of raising his kids that they both 'needed' kiddie jail time.

The majority of kids who attend a program have siblings who are doing just fine. So the quality of the parenting isn’t a common denominator or potential cause of the child needing placement. They are normal families who happen to have kids who are at risk. Also you are one of the few here who recognize that the kids are in need of help (or kiddie jail time as you call it). Many here feel the children are placed unnecessarily or dont need help at all.

But it IS a common denomenator. This guy screwed up both of his kids, locked them both up and one is dead because of it.

Troll Control · « **Reply #136 on:** July 21, 2009, 07:39:19 AM »

Quote from: "Guest"

Quote from: "Guest"
Does anyone know is 4 years the average stay for HLA? Has anyone else here gone for that long?

14 months is the average stay. Kids rarely stay past 16 months. The 2004-2008 is the time he spent in highschool (not necessarily at HLA). If there are kids that stayed 2 years or more, it would be extremely rare.

Most kids get pulled in a couple of months. HLA retains less than half of it kids. 50% never make it to graduation off the top in the first few months and of the remianing 50% less than half finish the program.

TheWho · « **Reply #137 on:** July 21, 2009, 08:26:45 AM »

They used to be called Reform schools and have evolved over time to be called Therapeutic schools or Behavior modification schools, same stuff, nicer name. HLA takes kids that cant make it in more traditional schools like the Darlington School in Rome, Ga or Brandon Hall in Atlanta. Some kids just need a kick in the ass to get started. Some kids are there a year others are there longer, depends on the kid and how hard they work.

TheWho · « **Reply #138 on:** July 21, 2009, 10:24:10 AM »

If it was bad parenting or bad genes at least the kid got the benefit of a fresh start and was given a few more years. I feel bad for the parents who cannot afford to get their kids help and they lose their kids to drugs even earlier. Hopefully this new healthcare plan will be able help more of these parents out.

TheWho · « **Reply #139 on:** July 21, 2009, 11:15:35 AM »

Quote from: "Guest"

If it was bad parenting or bad genes at least the kid got the benefit of a fresh start and was given a few more years. I feel bad for the parents who cannot afford to get their kids help and they lose their kids to drugs even earlier. Hopefully this new healthcare plan will be able help more of these parents out.

You cant even say it is bad genes either. No one can adjust their parenting style to effect a desired outcome. If a parent tries the best they can they cant make a kid become a priest if the kid isnt up for it. Kids are going to be what they are going to be. The best a parent can do is guide them. If the kids are broken then maybe they need to be broken down further and reassembled again and that is what programs do. Simple Behavior modification (like time outs, or being grounded) isnt going to be effective for some teens. Some kids dont do well in programs but what is the alternative? Let them off themselves earlier?
Overall it is the best alternative for many families.

Anonymous · « **Reply #140 on:** July 21, 2009, 11:33:08 AM »

Troll Control · « **Reply #141 on:** July 21, 2009, 12:20:55 PM »

One morw time: Why was Max disallowed form visitng his dying mom and from going to her funeral?

Is that "therapy"? Or even helpful in any way?

Troll Control · « **Reply #142 on:** July 21, 2009, 12:23:39 PM »

Quote from: "Guest"

Quote from: "Guest"
If it was bad parenting or bad genes at least the kid got the benefit of a fresh start and was given a few more years. I feel bad for the parents who cannot afford to get their kids help and they lose their kids to drugs even earlier. Hopefully this new healthcare plan will be able help more of these parents out.

You cant even say it is bad genes either. No one can adjust their parenting style to effect a desired outcome. If a parent tries the best they can they cant make a kid become a priest if the kid isnt up for it. Kids are going to be what they are going to be. The best a parent can do is guide them. If the kids are broken then maybe they need to be broken down further and reassembled again and that is what programs do. Simple Behavior modification (like time outs, or being grounded) isnt going to be effective for some teens. Some kids dont do well in programs but what is the alternative? Let them off themselves earlier?
Overall it is the best alternative for many families.

This is idiotic. If a kid is going to "off himself" he needs to be in a PSYCH HOSPITAL not a teen warehouse. This is why they "off themselves" later. No help is offered at HLA or ASR, etc so the kid still has the same problems when he gets home. Instead of getting real help the patrents just kick the can down the road a ways, like John Reuben did,

TheWho · « **Reply #143 on:** July 21, 2009, 12:30:34 PM »

Quote from: "Guest"

One morw time: Why was Max disallowed form visitng his dying mom and from going to her funeral?

Is that "therapy"? Or even helpful in any way?

Where was it said that he didnt go to his mother funeral? I didnt read that. Give the school a call, they make arrangements for the child to attend funerals if it is the immediate family or if the family requests the child to be taken out for a short time.
The child needs to be accompanied at all times so they request that a parent fly out to meet the child at the school and then accompany the child back again.

TheWho · « **Reply #144 on:** July 21, 2009, 12:58:20 PM »

Quote from: "Guest"

Quote from: "Guest"
Quote from: "Guest"
If it was bad parenting or bad genes at least the kid got the benefit of a fresh start and was given a few more years. I feel bad for the parents who cannot afford to get their kids help and they lose their kids to drugs even earlier. Hopefully this new healthcare plan will be able help more of these parents out.

You cant even say it is bad genes either. No one can adjust their parenting style to effect a desired outcome. If a parent tries the best they can they cant make a kid become a priest if the kid isnt up for it. Kids are going to be what they are going to be. The best a parent can do is guide them. If the kids are broken then maybe they need to be broken down further and reassembled again and that is what programs do. Simple Behavior modification (like time outs, or being grounded) isnt going to be effective for some teens. Some kids dont do well in programs but what is the alternative? Let them off themselves earlier?
Overall it is the best alternative for many families.

This is idiotic. If a kid is going to "off himself" he needs to be in a PSYCH HOSPITAL not a teen warehouse. This is why they "off themselves" later. No help is offered at HLA or ASR, etc so the kid still has the same problems when he gets home. Instead of getting real help the patrents just kick the can down the road a ways, like John Reuben did,

Exactly, the overdose was probably an accident. If the kid was suicidal he would have been getting the help he needed. STICCs has Childrens hospital as part of their advisory board and this was the owners kid so its safe to assume the kid wasnt trying to off himself.

Troll Control · « **Reply #145 on:** July 21, 2009, 01:03:12 PM »

No, it's not safe to assume any of this. The problem was his raging, untreated drug problem that was still present after ASR which did nothing to treat the boy. They just warehoused him for a few years and then he was right back to what he did before.

TheWho · « **Reply #146 on:** July 21, 2009, 01:08:42 PM »

Quote from: "Guest"

No, it's not safe to assume any of this. The problem was his raging, untreated drug problem that was still present after ASR which did nothing to treat the boy. They just warehoused him for a few years and then he was right back to what he did before.

People struggle with addiction their whole lives. It isnt something you go and have fixed and then never have to worry about again. It is a series of relapses and learning to live with addiction. If you know or have witnessed anyone trying to quit smoking,drugging or drinking you will understand that it isnt an easy process and can take numerous tries. With drugs and alcohol the addiction can stay with you for a life time and can be a constant struggle to stay clean.

Troll Control · « **Reply #147 on:** July 21, 2009, 05:38:57 PM »

Thanks for the 'psychology lesson' Who. But the real problem here is that for years Mike's problem was completely ignored by his father and ASR by his very placement at ASR which provides no treatment whatsoever. So, you're argument really is for 'doing nothing' which is the same as sending a kid to a program. It just delays what is going to happen, it doesn't change it. Anyway, your argument doesn't matter. Mike was sent to ASR for 'help,' he received none and when he came home he went right back to drugs - even harder ones than before the program - because his condition actually was worsened by ASR, nothelped in any way. The kid paid with his life, but his dad paid only with his wallet. Not a fair deal in my book.

TheWho · « **Reply #148 on:** July 21, 2009, 05:56:09 PM »

Prior to ASR the father had Mike seen by a specialist in the field of addiction and he was referred to a Counselor who worked one on one with him. As his grades continued to slip and his relationship with drugs became stronger he was recommended to ASR by The Director of Pediatrics at Children’s Hospital in Boston.
ASR was able to arrest his behavior, teach him to cope with himself and the problems that life will and has thrown at him and set him on a healthy path. He graduated ASR, attended and graduated from college and continued his interest in Music and a made himself successful in a career in Sales. He continued to struggle throughout his life with his addiction until it finally took his life.
As we all know addiction isn’t something that is cured but is a lifetime challenge and each person attempts to hold it at bay the best he can. The road can be long and arduous and in many instances the road is short as it was for Mike.
Please be respectful of this boys life and struggles and don’t twist his story to make him a tool for your agenda.

RobertBruce · « **Reply #149 on:** July 21, 2009, 10:16:33 PM »

Why not, you did. You used your own sons suicide as a marketing tool. I have no doubt you're still pissed off you couldnt capitalize on your wife dying too. Oh well, at least they were both lucky enough to get away from you. You're a horrible person, really.

Oh and for the record this:

Quote

Where was it said that he didnt go to his mother funeral? I didnt read that. Give the school a call, they make arrangements for the child to attend funerals if it is the immediate family or if the family requests the child to be taken out for a short time.
The child needs to be accompanied at all times so they request that a parent fly out to meet the child at the school and then accompany the child back again.Guest

Is a crock. Funerals are frequently used as leverage for kids locked up in HLA. Kids are made to meet certain conditions, acknowledge certain "facts", or in the cases where the parent insists and takes the kid for the funeral, the kid is punished upon return. Please Peter, since you've already proven time and again you know nothing of this industry, or this particular kiddie jail, enlighten us as to the theraputic value in such an act?

Also you still need to show the post where you gave permission to have your posts linked up. I'm not letting you off the hook Peter.

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