Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
Founder's Findings
Ursus:
Onwards...
LOL! According to Joe Gauld... it always boils down to preventing a child from manipulating the parent, doesn't it? Joe must have been pretty good at it in his day, for him to obsess about it for so many decades later...
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Founder's Findings #6: Do not seek your child's love.
9/30/2008
A child enters the world knowing he/she is totally dependent upon an adult for survival. Thus, the child quickly internalizes the fear of abandonment, including the fear the parent may become distracted by other interests. Therefore, the child earnestly seeks the parent's love in order to feel the security of knowing this adult will always be there for him/her.
But when the parent seeks the child's love, the child soon realizes there is no longer any need to seek the parent's love—he/she already has it. In fact, the child now has the luxury of learning how to manipulate the parent's 'love' in order to have life his/her own way!
So, simply focus on properly preparing your child for life, and you will gain both your child's trust and love.
- Joseph Gauld
Anonymous:
A child enters the world knowing he/she is totally dependent upon an adult for survival. Thus, the child quickly internalizes the fear of abandonment, including the fear the parent may become distracted by other interests. Therefore, the child earnestly seeks the parent's love in order to feel the security of knowing this adult will always be there for him/her.
When the child seeks the parent's love, the parent soon realizes there is no longer any need to seek the child's love—he/she already has it. In fact, the parent now has the luxury of learning how to manipulate the child's 'love' in order to have life his/her own way!
Ursus:
--- Quote from: "The Gauldian view of love" ---A child enters the world knowing he/she is totally dependent upon an adult for survival. Thus, the child quickly internalizes the fear of abandonment, including the fear the parent may become distracted by other interests. Therefore, the child earnestly seeks the parent's love in order to feel the security of knowing this adult will always be there for him/her.
When the child seeks the parent's love, the parent soon realizes there is no longer any need to seek the child's love—he/she already has it. In fact, the parent now has the luxury of learning how to manipulate the child's 'love' in order to have life his/her own way!
--- End quote ---
:rofl: :rofl:
Unfortunately, that is exactly how some parents are...
Anonymous:
This Founder's Finding takes a big step toward explaining how some weird old dude dressed in plaid visits a college campus and red-faced and spittle-mouthed "has his way" with a fresh Hyde grad.
Incidentally, my parents, who were out of the Hyde loop, were the first to tell me about Joe's exploit. Word traveled in the pre-Internet era.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: "With fine disregard for the rules" ---This Founder's Finding takes a big step toward explaining how some weird old dude dressed in plaid visits a college campus and red-faced and spittle-mouthed "has his way" with a fresh Hyde grad.
Incidentally, my parents, who were out of the Hyde loop, were the first to tell me about Joe's exploit. Word traveled in the pre-Internet era.
--- End quote ---
I still can't get my head around that one. I am just about Joe's age in ,what 1978? I just can't see my self hooking up with a college freshman, a college freshman's Mom maybe. Not a girl less then half my age. And then to have had an authority figure role in the girls life ..... geez. She seem to be doing ok but I got to believe it would have left a mark. I would think that would estrange you from your peers: hey! there's the girl that banged Joe. I bet she has never been back to any of the Hyde reunions even thought she was a popular and well liked student. I have to admit I don't have that problem. "What he doing here?" is the reaction I get when I visit Bath. Ancient history.
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