Looking for a boarding school

[Anonymous]

i'm a 16 yr old girl look for a boarding school to attend. i suffer from anxiety and depression and haven't been going to my public school for months. i want to go to a boarding school because they're small and more structured than my school. i believe the small setting would motivate me to do well and living away from home would improve my mood a whole lot. i'm terrified of therapeutic boarding schools. is there any normal-ish boarding school that would take me? if i was in 8th or 9th grade it would be no problem for me to find a school, but i'm in 10th. i have had pretty bad grades the past couple years but i'm considered talented/gifted etc. the real problem is that my life at home depresses me and takes away from my motivation to go to school and do well. i really think a boarding school would solve this problem. is there any school that can help a student like me get on track? again, NO I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A THERAPEUTIC BOARDING SCHOOL SO NO NEED TO TALK ME OUT OF ONE. i'm a troubled teen looking for a school. NOT a crazy abusive cult. and i'm in therapy and on anti-depressants.

[Anonymous]

You're looking for a real, bona-fide boarding school that is not a cult.  Wrong site... lol.

[Anonymous]

You're looking for a real, bona-fide boarding school that is not a cult.  Wrong site... lol.

I am a troubled teen though. I thought people here might know a bit about boarding schools that would take a troubled teen that aren't abusive/restrictive/cult-like etc.

[Anonymous]

It is a difficult subject and your search will be hard and long.

I will try to explain without trying to insult you. English is not my native language so please excuse me.

First of all most boarding schools are businesses. They want students which function without problems in their environment. Students who needs extra care and nursing means extra expenses and then they can choose another. There are plenty of parents outthere, who find children generally disruptive outside family hollidays where they can show their stepford children off.

I am afraid that 99% of normal boarding school will see you as a too expensive kid to warehouse.

Therapeutic boarding schools are also businesses and many of them makes a business of finding problems they can solve. If you dont have all the problems, then they can place you in marathon group therapy sessions for +3 hours and believe me: At some point you will adapt the problems from other student and make them yours. It is called psycodrama and while it can be rather entertaining for the people watching it, it is not healthy for you. You are terrified of those places and frankly you should be. They will not be good for you.

There are other kind of boarding schools. Some are faith based. Unfortunately they read the bible as the man in the department below. They use texts as hard as a Donald Duck magazine as curriculum and people in college will laugh of you if you turn up with an exam paper from one of these places. Check if they use the ACE curriculum and stay away from them if they do. Another downside is the frekvent use of the paddle. The high score seems to be a program in Indiana where the boss thinks that is OK to use corporal punishment on babies.

I dont know that to recommend to you. We have a database with a lot of programs you should stay away from here.

How is your home depressing and are your parents on the look too?

In the later is the case, I will recommend that you ask some friend to protect you by holding on to some emancipation papers for you.

How are your language skills? Sometime a foreign boarding school could be the answer and in Europe we have a youth culture, which leaves you room for development. Even our continuation schools for troubled teens in Denmark offers weekends off campus within two weeks.

[Anonymous]

I forgot to ask. What kind of talent/gift do you have?

[AuntieEm2]

Dear Guest,

I will recommend that you ask some friend to protect you by holding on to some emancipation papers for you.

Oscar is right: you should have emancipation papers. These are legal papers that go to a court and result in a hearing to determine if you are capable of living as an adult. If you had a friend who could be trusted to hold these, they could be given to the court in the event you are held more than 3 months, or against your will.

Muuuuuuuuuuch better idea is to look around at your family and friends and see if there is someone with whom you could go live for a while. You could attend a different school in a different place and still have caring family around you, and contact with your friends. You might think that there is no one who would be willing, but I think if you asked around, you would find there are people who are kind and open hearted.

The programs for "troubled teens" are not to be trusted. Seriously. My dear, you call yourself a troubled teen, but this condition is absolutely normal for a person your age. You will grow out of it, as trite as that may sound. You will be all grown up in a couple of years and all this will be behind you.

Good luck, and please try to find a solution closer to home.

Auntie Em

[Anonymous]

Seriously?
 :feedtrolls:

[Anonymous]

Seriously?
 :feedtrolls:

This.

[hurrikayne]

Auntie Em is a reliable source on the matter, you can trust her knowledge in this.

[Anonymous]

We cannot afford to consider this post as a troll.

Kids are dying outthere and many are struggling.

If they dont end up in wilderness programs or another residential treatment, the parents use the jails as hospitals.

Look at a message board like conduct-disorders. We are talking desperate parents seeking help in a country where there is no decent healthcare system.

They live with an ill son or daughter until they have no other option than calling the cops because they are being beaten up. Some have even pulled their off-spring from government lowcost warehouses for teens months before beause the poor bastard was beaten up there.

Here is a thread.

http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20336&page=2

The story goes: daughter 17 is being pulled by her mother because she was beaten in the TBS. The daugther has her problems. Once home the daughter - bitter over being kicked out in the first place because the school said she need residential treatment and the parent listened - stole the creditcard belonging to the father. The police told them that they should press charges. The parent let their daughter go to jail where she was released once she had been in court with a court order telling the parents to be her jailers with overseing medication and curfews. At some point the daughter punched the mother after an argument. The daughter took off and are now reported missing. Rotsne has adviced the mother to accept that the daughter is only months from being 18 and that she perhaps should let this daughter try to find her own path. Unfortunately the state seems to put responsibility on the parents until the daughter is 21.

What can be done?

Back to this thread. We have to accept that teens are struggling. If they reach out and comes here they should not be laughed at or given rude answers. If with the risk of them being a troll, we should give them advice from our hearts. All too many have already died. We don't need to increase this number by turning them away from us.

Many of you found yourself alone after leaving the program.
I can assure you that there are many teens finding themselves alone BEFORE entering the programs.

[Anonymous]

I'd recommend (only because I have friends that went to one, and I attended another prior to the TBS I was sent to....and because they are the ones I know in NY) Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeepsie, NY and Storm King School in Cornwall on Hudson, NY.  They both would suit the needs you have expressed and both have freedoms most would associate with a typical college, while remaining structured.

[Che Gookin]

I went to the Midland School in Los Olivos California myself. Wouldn't say it is very structured.... Lots of fun though. I don't mind boarding schools myself after spending 2 years in one. A lot of people start screaming bloody murder about them and get all butthurt. A word of caution, just be aware you'll be away from home and the people at the school aren't your family. Structured or not it can get mighty lonesome. I know I felt it around holiday time when my own family was to lazy to make the trip down for thanksgiving dinner.

If you want more information on the schools affiliated with Midland I might.. just might be able to get in touch with someone who might just know someone. No promises though..

I really think you ought to give Aunty Em's advice a second look over, before you do anything else.

[Che Gookin]

Back to this thread. We have to accept that teens are struggling. If they reach out and comes here they should not be laughed at or given rude answers. If with the risk of them being a troll, we should give them advice from our hearts. All too many have already died. We don't need to increase this number by turning them away from us.

Many of you found yourself alone after leaving the program.
I can assure you that there are many teens finding themselves alone BEFORE entering the programs.

While I agree with what you are saying I fully support the right of the guests to say what they think as well. Fornits is about freedom of speech and rampant speaking out in group. Over the last few years more and more boards on this forum have become moderated. This TTI forum is as fornits used to be in the beginning, or so  some people say. Here you can speak your mind about the need to be helpful, they can holler troll, and I can dig in my ass like I normally do anyway.

The OP does have the option of asking this same quesion in the Facilities Q/A forums where the moderated angry fist of god will smite down those trolls who dare defy the wrath of the mods.

[AuntieEm2]

The more I know about all this, the more I notice that we all fall into the habit or trap of discussing the teenager as the problem. All of us, regardless of our view of the troubled teen industry, seem to do this.

Someone here (hurrikayne? che? antigen?) started a thread called "The Troubled Parent Industry." That characterization is dead on the money.

We must remind ourselves that the "problem" is rarely just one person in the family. The "problem" needs the participation of all family members in finding healing and solutions. The "problem" cannot be exported to Idaho or Utah or New York or Guam.

Auntie Em

[Anonymous]

I'm the girl who started this post. My name is Natasha and I really am looking for help. I thought that people on this board perhaps have experienced similar things to me and could let me know what worked for them. I'm 16. I'm almost halfway through high school and it's not working. I'm failing. I'm sitting at home miserable every day. I just want to be in a place where I can go to school every day and do my work. My home is not that place. I appreciate the suggestion of moving in with another family member/friend, I'm looking into that. Also the suggestions of the two schools in NY, thanks for those. Unfortunately I now doubt my parents can pay for one of them, but maybe we can work something out. I just want to be able to get a high school diploma and go to college.