Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Facility Question and Answers

drug rehab for 18 yr old????

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wonderwoman2112:
I've been reading this discussion forum long enough to get the generally held idea re: RTCs and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.   But I haven't read anything on actual rehab facilities for teens and young adults.  I have an 18 yr old whose drug problem is spiralling out of control...dropped out of high school, won't get a job, won't get a GED.  Just gets wasted all night and then sleeps all day.  Is stealing money and drugs from us and lying constantly. Disappears for days on end. This is going nowhere but toward tragedy.  I'm scared to death of these facilities that won't let you talk to you kid for weeks on end. If anyone can recommend some rehabs, I'd greatly appreciate it.  There is nothing in my area for young adults.
Thanks!!!

Che Gookin:
Ask yourself this:

1) Is your kid actually a strung out junkie or a recreational user?
2) Is this a phase they probably will grow out of on their own?
3) If they actually do have a real problem with drugs does your kid want to kick that habit?

Now by problem I'm not talking the angst ridden emo cheetoh munching dope smokers.

that's a friggin phase that hits the road as soon as the kid has to get a job.

i'm talking the hard core oding and crazy shit...

Remember, bottom line here is if your kid does have a problem they really do have to want to kick it. If you send them to a rehab you are probably only going to end inflaming the problem.

I personally don't like rehabs due to their tendency to push Narc Anon onto the residents. Further, who the heck wants to be labeled a junkie the rest of their lives?

Maybe if you posted your general geographical location someone could pm you some ideas. There are places your child can get help if they really have a problem and if they really want to deal with it.

If it is a phase though.. sheesh.. tell em to go get a job to buy their own damn pretorn emo pants and matching emo t-shirt.

Sorry.. i think emo is the dumbest fashion trend to date and I favor rounding up the little bastards and giving out mass haircuts.

sigh.. damn I got old.

bleh.

#gramps wobbles off waving his cane and hollering at small children and dogs....

Che Gookin:
Oh wait..

18?

He's an adult..

Make him act like one.

He can pay you rent or find his own place. Stuffing him in a program will only deprive him of a badly needed experience with reality.

bottom line though.. make sure.. absolutely make sure you tell him as often as you can that you love him, you are proud of him no matter what he does, but at some point he has to go be his own man.

Stop focusing on the nonsense and get him focusing on being an adult.

Just remember though.. this isn't throwing him out for his own good in some sicko tough love fashion. This is helping him make the transition from child to adult. That doesn't have to be one he does completely alone, but he has to do it.

Support the dude from the distance.. cheer him on.. give advice..

hmmm..

ran out of ideas...

Good luck.

psy:
Something like what Che said.  It sounds like your kid is depressed and perhaps that's why he is using drugs to excess and sleeping all day...  but he is 18.  Maybe you should ask him to move out if he's stealing and affecting you directly.  Agree to pay for an apartment for a few months until he can find a job and support himself.  It's a lot cheaper than a program and, at least in my experience, will probably have a much greater chance of success.  It's critical, though, that if you say you do something, you do it.  If he senses that he can mooch off you indefinitely, he just might, so when you say the money will stop flowing at point X, you have to do it.  If he knows you will pull the plug on funds, he'll have no choice but to get himself a job and begin to support himself.  Normally, I might not be so harsh, but if he's stealing from you, that isn't cool, and you should not have to tolerate that.

As for his drug usage of abuse?  Well.  Thats his problem (or not), not yours.  He is the owner of his own body.  If he decides for himself that he has a problem, he can get himself help (I would suggest Rational Recovery or almost any other program of self help, but not AA/NA which has a disastrous success rate (often worse than nothing at all)).  Pressure from you shouldn't be an issue in his decision (it will only build resentment, and won't factor into a decision of really wanting to quit.  If you've ever smoked cigarettes, would desire is a requisite to quitting.).  Respect his choice and agree to support him in the apt for the time you agree upon regardless of what he chooses to put in his body.  On his own, it's not your concern, it's his.  If he can use drugs and succeed in life, more power to him (there are a lot who do).

Anonymous:
First question: Does he acknowledge his drug use?

If he dont, kick him out or hire a powerful interventionst.

You can drag a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink. As the bald guy on telly also states: "You can only change what you acknowledge as a problem".

You cannot start drugrehab before he states to you: "I have a problem". So dont even bother reading the text below if he doesn't.

Second: Drug rehab where you are in all the way until after-care.

Call Soltreks or some other wilderness program with a FAMILY program.

Ask them where to hire a cabin in their neighborhood. Get some of your family members to take you and your son to this cabin and leave you there for a week or so. If you are several working shifts, it would be better. There is only one rule. He must not go near other people or shopping. Just to make the time go, go for a hike. It would help him to sweat out some of the drugs and it wouldn't be so boring.

Week 2 it is time for the wilderness. It only needs to last a week, because most of the poison is out of his body. Don't expect any breaktroughs during week 1 because his brain is drugged up. The first week is always a waste of money. Ask any wilderness instructor to confirm this. But because you have kept him isolated as in any program the first week, you can get value for your money by this approach.

By participating in the wilderness your self, then if he dies like many of the teenagers over the years, you also die. Because you are the person with the money it would unlikely for the program to let you die. You or your wallet become the life insurrance for your boy.

If his problems have something to do with self-esteem ask the wilderness program if the know a place where you can rent some hours in a high-rope course track or if they know a place suitable for gorge jumping, which you can do AFTER the course. Remember, that you have to do it as well as him.

When the wilderness program is done with your boy is ready for aftercare. You must have a AA or NA meeting going on in your town. If he messes the after-care phase up, he is 18 and can be kicked out.

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