Author Topic: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you  (Read 4448 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline dishdutyfugitive

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1105
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
    • http://www.foxmovies.com/fightclub/
Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« on: January 29, 2008, 01:51:36 AM »
I wrote this letter in response to a parent considering Shortridge Academy.....Take it for what is worth.



I graduated RMA (CEDU) in 1990. As a model RMA graduate I went on to graduate from a respected University, etc. etc. etc.. My family still swears that "RMA saved my life".

It took me about 15 years to completely realize what a warped, detrimental, developmental detour RMA was.

RMA had no checks and balances. No oversight. It was a runaway train.

To answer your question:
Adam Rainer was an RMA student from 1989 to 1991 (give or take 6 months). Adam started Shortridge.
According to Shortridges' website, Mike Strader (sp) and Bruce Wilson work there. Mike is a graduate of RMA and Bruce was an RMA staff member from circa 1986 to 1993.


My advice to you:

1. Be wary of anyone who tries to close their sales pitch with lines such as these,  "It saved my life" - "Without that program I'd be dead"

2. If you are really considering Shortridge you should go visit it. During your tour you’ll hear their sales pitch.  When you get to brass tacks, they'll give you a dose of their omnipotent essence. They’ll be sure to give you the 'new and improved' neutralizer to any set of your prepared  ‘hard hitting’ questions. Many of these programs websites encourage prospective parents to ask these hard hitting questions.

 "Please parents, ask us anything. We'll be forthright and upfront with you. Our school has evolved. There are bad programs out there. Ours is different".


At that point call an official time-out.

All of these programs say that.

Go back to your hotel, sit your ass down and take a breather.

Why?

Your nerves at that point are beyond shot, you're exhausted and that's exactly where they want you.

Vulnerable.

You need to make this decision with your head not your heart.

Sure, there's a 1% chance that Adam got it right. Let’s say Shortridge is a great place. I don't know I haven't been there. But from everything I've heard about Shortridge - it is another modern day CEDU. No one from their organization has felt that they are so beyond reproach and pure that they can contribute something positive to a discussion on Fornits. Ask Shortridge to respond to my 2 cents. If I ‘m wrong about Shortridge's program, I’ll openly admit it. I fight fair. As I said, I don't have hands on knowledge about Shortridge. I do have historical information about Shortridge. And, I'm willing to engage in an a fair, intellectuall discussion about Shortridge any day of the week.

There's a fellow here named "the who" that is here to encourage parents like yourself to send their kids to a CEDU like program. He claims his daughter went to ASR (Academy at Swift River). Which is owned by Aspen which is owned by CRC (http://www.crchealth.com/).    At least 4 staff members that I knew of from RMA (1986-1993) ended up becoming staff members at ASR (1995-?), Brett & Lisa Carey and Rea & Sharon Kreider.  I mention this for 2 reasons.

1. "The who" is not a parent of a child who went to ASR. He is an employee of CRC/Aspen. He is paid to do 'damage control' on the internet for the programs that his corporation owns.

2. There isn't 1 RMA staff member (from the 1986-1992 era) that can be located/contacted. They have evaporated. Their sins just absorbed themselves and disappeared. No one is accountable. Not one staff from that era has the character to stand up and call a spade a spade. These former life saving “counselors/therapists/life coaches” from CEDU have vanished. They live guilt ridden, secret lives (I have found 1 staff member from my RMA era who has a website. If you are truly interested in understanding CEDU and Shortridge I will be happy to forward you her website).

I say all this because CEDU set the precedent for all future programs within the industry. In 1990, 'tough love' programs, wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, Residential Treatment facilities became very fashionable. These programs claimed to be robust solutions to the 'troubled teen' problem. Ironically, these programs provide short term, miraculous reformations in adolescent behavior. Ultimately, these wreck less excursions in behavior modification put everyone in an uncontrollable tailspin. Their experimental, unregulated, coercive, 'tough love' quack therapy only compounds the child's original problems.  At their core, these programs are profit driven. They intentionally manipulate parents who are emotionally exhausted, desperate and unable to find the proper resources to help their children.

On that note I recognize, there is no easy answer. Life can be challenging. Grueling in stretches. We often times find ourselves in situations where there is no easy or acceptable answer. I recognize this. However, for your own sanity and your child’s well being think 20 years down the road.


Program advocates will never let you (truly) examine the sum of their program’s parts. They'll always tell you to look at it's "whole".  This is called manipulation. It’s called smoke and mirrors.

Do yourself a favor. When you finish your visiting and interviewing each program ask them 1 question.

Ask them this. Should the program work - should my child do well for 5 years and then fall flat on his face. Will you be there to answer my questions? Or come 5, 10, 15 years from now, am I able to contact at least 1 staff member or will they have magically disappeared? Will I look around and find my self surrounded by other, nascent, cutting edge, programs that have no accountability for their predecessors?

I appreciate your attention to my long winded response
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline TheWho

  • Posts: 7256
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2008, 09:10:40 AM »
In addition to the above letter I would like to add a couple of things:

As you go over all the information in your head remember that not all schools are alike.  Each one is based on a different model and different set of rules.  The schools are all very structured for the most part and most work well for kids who would benefit from a structured, safe environment where they can mature and heal.

* Visit the schools

* Talk to staff members

* Speak to and have lunch with the students who are presently attending the school.

* Ask to speak with parents who have had children attend and or children who have graduated.

* Choose a school which offers therapists which are independent from the school
.


I have been thru this process myself and understand what many of you have been thru over the past few months.  These are very difficult decisions and should not be taken lightly….. read here on fornits and talk to as many parents as you can before deciding the next step.



...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline DieYuppieSkum

  • Posts: 77
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2008, 09:56:34 AM »
who, shut your face before I send someone to yank your cock and shove it in for you.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline blownawaytheidahoway

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 645
  • Karma: +4/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2008, 09:57:46 AM »
Dishduty,
that was a great post. It illuminates some of the most important questions about our experience and what the CEDU experience was like. Unfortunately, just because parents may sometimes make the distinction that CEDU flavored spinoff schools are a risk, it won't change the industry more than a drop in the bucket. See, the CEDU model is still the best one out there from a business standpoint: 1. take kids at their parents' word of what the problem child's problem is- 2. cash check. 3. isolate child (teen, American) from his home, school, society, and friends (not to mention biological parents, step parents and extended family, friends of family who may have disagreed with the separation for 36 months or had a different opinion of what the troubles in the family stemmed from) 4. take these important and intense and often more abstract issues and promise the new parent about your "track" record and mending families being sure to occasionally integrate the nightmare option that could occur without the intervention, 5. Begin to tear the child down (as soon as you can confirm through the "parent communicator"'s redneck, bedraggled, 9 toothed cousin, who works as a baggage handler at the local airport can confirm you've boarded flight 666 back to worry free adolescence done easy! by a series of intimidation tactics and physical deprivations.  6. Convince the child he is alone, stupid, irresponsible, manipulative, a sex maniac, a drug addict, and that his parents hate him. 7. Become the new parent! 8. Cultivate rewards/ punishment program with unexpected punishments and rewards to confuse more the adapting child...you know the rest of the story.

It's the essence of how the places still function. And it works. You can see why, and you can see the issues unfold in any group encounter that is not optional in one of these programs. The one question I would ask is about GROUP encounters, or RAPs. If one of these institutions offers anything like that bullshit- you know the PR package is ALL hoax. Smoke and mirrors is right. The CEDU spinoff people are con artists...even if you still kinda like 'em for whatever reason!

I had to add my two cents here before The Who hijacked another thread with his ulterior intentions.
"Talk to the Hand"
- Actor/ Governor Arnold
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Life is a very wonderful thing.\' said Dr. Branom... \'The processes of life, the make- up of the human organism, who can fully understand these miracles?... What is happening to you now is what should happen to any normal healthy human organism...You are being made sane, you are being made healthy.
     \'That I will not have, \' I said, \'nor can understand at all. What you\'ve been doing is to make me feel very very ill.\'
                         -Anthony Burgess
                      A Clockwork Orange

Offline TheWho

  • Posts: 7256
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2008, 10:52:42 AM »
Great follow-up discussion everyone!!  Your points are well taken Blownawaytheidahoway.....

I would beware of any school that isolated the child from family for a year or so and promised an outcome.  Parents need to be aware that not all kids do well in these programs.  Many of the schools have very rigid acceptance criteria and will not take your child unless they feel there is a high probability the school will be successful in helping your child.  By the time you begin talking to schools you should be well versed on your child’s needs thru working with local services, school counselors, therapists etc.  You should try to match your child’s specific needs with what the school offers.  The better schools work on bringing the family together and fostering healthy self esteem, any schools which uses techniques (like blownaway mentioned) i.e. Convince the child he is alone, stupid, irresponsible, manipulative, a sex maniac, a drug addict, and that his parents hate him,  should be avoided.  Try to understand the disciplinary methods used for each school, they should match closely with what you are comfortable with or use at home.

Lastly, talk to people who have been through it and talk to as many as possible.  They can be your best insight into what you can expect.



...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline DieYuppieSkum

  • Posts: 77
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2008, 11:47:14 AM »
who, stop talking out of your ass as if you know what you are talking about and as if you even give two shits.

"great follow up people"

enough with this Dr.Phill facade, it's obnoxious and you are not a shrink nor in any position to give anyone suggestions as how to make a choice.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2008, 09:24:17 AM »
bump
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2008, 11:21:31 AM »
Quote from: "DieYuppieSkum"
who, stop talking out of your ass as if you know what you are talking about and as if you even give two shits.

"great follow up people"

enough with this Dr.Phill facade, it's obnoxious and you are not a shrink nor in any position to give anyone suggestions as how to make a choice.


« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline TheWho

  • Posts: 7256
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2008, 12:18:23 PM »
Quote from: "fed up"
Quote from: "DieYuppieSkum"
who, stop talking out of your ass as if you know what you are talking about and as if you even give two shits.

"great follow up people"

enough with this Dr.Phill facade, it's obnoxious and you are not a shrink nor in any position to give anyone suggestions as how to make a choice.




Hmmmm.. I kind of thought that was a pretty good discussion and a good message to parents.


...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2008, 12:20:03 PM »
And that's shocking news?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline DieYuppieSkum

  • Posts: 77
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2008, 02:24:10 PM »
Who, the reality is YOU DON'T CARE.

You are not a Doctor, you are not a parent, you don't even play one on T.V.

You are a lying hack. I don't know what the hell your goals and motives are but I don't need a degree from Harvard or Yale or a Bachelor in Therapeutic science to know you are a opportunity seeking shit smear who tries desperately to portray this industry like a medical cure and keeps pounding and repeating yourself like a god damn Parrot with Tourettes.


Something tells me your daughter never even went to a bloody R.T.C otherwise she would be in here with you crusading away.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2008, 03:14:26 PM »
psy ruined this forum and nothing changed, what a dufus.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Froderik

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7547
  • Karma: +10/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2008, 04:15:07 PM »
Quote from: "guest"
psy ruined this forum and nothing changed, what a dufus.

He did? How so?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline DieYuppieSkum

  • Posts: 77
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2008, 04:43:24 PM »
Quote from: "guest"
psy ruined this forum and nothing changed, what a dufus.


ok, not only is this statement irrelevant but it's also untrue. Hey guest stop being a little weenie and say who the hell you are before you go talking shit about anyone.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Prospective Parent - January 2008- My Open letter to you
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2008, 05:01:34 PM »
Quote from: "DieYuppieSkum"
Quote from: "guest"
psy ruined this forum and nothing changed, what a dufus.


ok, not only is this statement irrelevant but it's also untrue. Hey guest stop being a little weenie and say who the hell you are before you go talking shit about anyone.

SERIOUSLY....someone get the WAAAHHHmbulance for this douche.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »