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Author Topic: Too painful to approach?  (Read 1795 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Too painful to approach?
« on: December 15, 2007, 09:55:41 PM »
I read constantly for pleasure, but if anything I read is too insightful into human psychology, in particular, insightful into abuse similar to the sort I endured in program, and by my country that allows me and my beloveds to be abducted and tortured simply because our owners (parents) wish it that way, I must stop.

The level of pain I feel is similar to the feeling of being raped. It’s that intense,-more so, in fact. Because of this, I cannot read tracts that would be helpful in understanding what happened to me. Further, I cannot read or watch movies or even listen to much music that is not superficial.

Does anyone else have this...this intense pain? Why would this occur?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Nihilanthic

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Too painful to approach?
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2007, 10:14:49 PM »
Because you're getting introspective about a horrible experience is my best guess.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Too painful to approach?
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2007, 11:14:43 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
I read constantly for pleasure, but if anything I read is too insightful into human psychology, in particular, insightful into abuse similar to the sort I endured in program, and by my country that allows me and my beloveds to be abducted and tortured simply because our owners (parents) wish it that way, I must stop.

The level of pain I feel is similar to the feeling of being raped. It’s that intense,-more so, in fact. Because of this, I cannot read tracts that would be helpful in understanding what happened to me. Further, I cannot read or watch movies or even listen to much music that is not superficial.

Does anyone else have this...this intense pain? Why would this occur?

I went through the exact same thing; give it time. It took me a while to get around to reading stuff like that, but I finally did, and didn't regret it.
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Offline Anonymous

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Too painful to approach?
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2007, 12:51:45 PM »
if you go to a shrink he'd label this PTSD and give you either an SSRI or a Benzo.

my advice would be to not go see a shrink. get a girlfreind/boyfreind, get close to them, talk to THEM about it, watch the disturbing movies, listen to the music, and have them help you get over it. thats what helped me, along with focusing on the fact that i am now FREE, and never have to go back to that. live in the here and now.

what helps me is trying to make sure kids dont end up going through the same thing as me. thats why i'm so prolific on fornits.
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Offline Anonymous

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Too painful to approach?
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2007, 03:02:52 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
if you go to a shrink he'd label this PTSD and give you either an SSRI or a Benzo.

my advice would be to not go see a shrink. get a girlfreind/boyfreind, get close to them, talk to THEM about it, watch the disturbing movies, listen to the music, and have them help you get over it. thats what helped me, along with focusing on the fact that i am now FREE, and never have to go back to that. live in the here and now.

what helps me is trying to make sure kids dont end up going through the same thing as me. thats why i'm so prolific on fornits.


Thanks. I don't think that will help, though. Can't go into it. I am not free, though, as someone I love was murdered there
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Offline Anonymous

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Too painful to approach?
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2007, 10:08:16 PM »
some more ideas for you:

smoke lots of weed
take a trip to nepal or india
join a commune
take a road trip
go to college
take some psychedelics
go to the amazon, take some ayahuasca
scream "i love life" at the top of your lungs
climb mount everest
run a marathon
write a novel
or just party your ass off.
be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and dont let anything hold you back.

this is your one and only chance at life, live it to the fullest. there is no use sitting around moping all day. before you know it, your going to be too old to do anything but sit and watch TV. i know you're hurt, but you will have many more loves to enjoy. you can honor your love by not letting his/her's death drag you down - honor them by living your life to the fullest. one thing that wont do anything for you is doing nothing waiting for something to come. you need to do something proactive, that will make you feel better. youre FREE, fucking ENJOY IT!
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Offline Anonymous

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Too painful to approach?
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2007, 10:18:54 PM »
about the not being able to listen to music and whatnot, i was kindof the same way. they only had a few albums at my programs "activity center"'s jukebox. among them, the black album (mettalica), toxicity (soad), adrenaline (deftones), and the songs "that smell" and "freebird" by lynerd skynerd (sp?). 4 years later, and i still cant listen to those albums/songs. i go crazy and have anxiety all day.

the food too - to this day, maple syrup, tatertots, chocolate milk, wonderbread, turkey coldcuts, salsbury steak, corndogs, and gritz all make me nauseus as soon as i even smell them.

it took me 2 years to even be able to start reading fornits, and another year before i summoned the courage to post here.

with time, you'll get over it. just avoid the triggers for now, and do something productive in the meantime.
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Offline psy

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Re: Too painful to approach?
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2008, 07:47:45 PM »
bump
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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