Anne Bonney wrote:
I was hauled into family court not by my husband but by his parents and my father working together. My dad even hired an attorney who's partner was on the board of Straight. All the judge needed to hear was that I was once in a drug program and was now drinking. Custody was given to the grandparents. They split the girls up, my oldest going with my dad and his wife (also a program parent) and my youngest going to my ex's parents.
This is so sad
. Hope you have reconnected with your girls.
Auntie Em
Oh yeah! I saw them almost every day while they were with the grandparents and custody did eventually return to me, almost 3 years later. But even after that, every damn time I did something that they didn't like I was either taken back to family court or threatened with it. My ex got a DUI manslaughter a year after I left him, went to prison, got out and was court mandated to attend AA. His sponsor told him he should seek custody since he was sober and I wasn't (I was socially drinking with no problems at the time). So, for damn near 20 years I fought or was preparing to fight my ex, his parents and my father for custody of my kids. I'm telling ya, I wasn't able to truly begin to heal from all this shit until my youngest reached the age where they couldn't pull that shit anymore. It really opened my eyes to how hard and fast of a hold they had on me, even beyond the brainwashing and insular social setting I was in. Once that hold was broken I couldn't believe the amount of self esteem, control and relief I felt. It really was as though someone let me out of a cage I had been locked in for all that time.
After they were returned to me they (the ex and parents) were only able to get the kids actually pulled from the house twice more and even then they were returned within a couple of weeks with all charges being labeled 'unfounded' or 'unconfirmed'. Finally, one of the social workers told the judge that she believed my ex was using the court to try and get back at me and at least then
he couldn't bother me anymore. The girls lived with me all their lives, save that first 2 1/2 years. They're 22 and 20 now and both doing very well. The oldest is a CNA for an assisted living home, working on her LPN then on to her RN. The youngest works for a local attorney while going to school. Their relationships with their father, his parents and my father will never be right. Now that they're adults and realize what was done they're pissed. My oldest daughter still toys with the idea of putting down on paper what she went through as a result of Straight. She's been surrounded by these people her entire life. Me, my ex, his parents, my mom, my dad, his wife, her two kids who were also in there, a friend they used to consider an 'aunt'.....AAGHHHHHH!!1111
The damage that these places inflict on people doesn't end when we get out. Sometimes its just the beginning of the nightmare.

::mecry::